I don't know where to post this but needed to share. Mods please move if inappropriately located.
Monday June 28th: A Day of Blessings Unrequested and Perhaps Unearned - My Fated Encounter and Extended Gift of Time Spent Alone with Our Dear Angel Michael at Forest Lawn Glendale Last Week.
Monday June 28th: A Day of Blessings Unrequested and Perhaps Unearned - My Fated Encounter and Extended Gift of Time Spent Alone with Our Dear Angel Michael at Forest Lawn Glendale Last Week.
To begin, this was one of the most surreal moments (days) of my life. More so than first meeting Michael or being invited back to hang with him. This was fate and I don't know exactly why I was chosen for this. I did not ask for it, but am forever grateful for the chance to have done this. Please do not read on if you are still too highly emotional about Michael's death. I do not want to upset anyone more. Michael was all about L.O.V.E. and wouldn't want any of you to be sad still.
I debated sharing this with you guys and then felt selfish in not doing so. I went to visit my grandmother's niche at Forest Lawn, Glendale last week for the first time since she passed. I thought that Michael was interned at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills, so the thought that he was buried there never crossed my mind.
I debated sharing this with you guys and then felt selfish in not doing so. I went to visit my grandmother's niche at Forest Lawn, Glendale last week for the first time since she passed. I thought that Michael was interned at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills, so the thought that he was buried there never crossed my mind.
It's a long, long story (I was alone in the Grand Mausoleum for 4 hours and lost and scared) but I found Michael and had a chance to spend an hour with him and to send all of our love to him. I felt extremely privileged to be there and did not take it for granted.
As I was lost and scared, the only way I could figure to get out was to take a picture of Mike's sarcophagus so security would rush in and delete the pictures (more importantly rescue me). But, I kept taking pictures and no one came. Then again, not a soul was let in this HUGE, five story building except me; again greatly humbled. When I did finally find my way out to an exit it was on the opposite side of the building and I was greeted by a large group of hysterical fans who wanted to know how I got to spend four hours with Michael. I explained I was there to visit my grandma, but they still were angry with me that I wouldn't "take them with me to get them in". Seriously, the security to get in was SOOOO tight. How could I have returned and said, "Oh yeah, my sister here wants to see grandma too".
Anyhow, I send EVERYONE from here Michael's love and even touched the marble in which he is encased as to come as close to him as possible. I was COMPLETELY respectful. Again, I want to share this so you all know that Michael knows we are here and in a way, we all got to visit and send love. Many fans were very angry with me and I understand a bid because they can't get in, feel this is unfair and are jealous of me. My grandmother is entombed about 20 yards from Michael, so as long as he is there in the Grand Mausoleum, I will be able to see him. I am not positng any pictures out of respect (and because I saw what Karen went through).
I do want you all to know that it is incredibly sad to be there. I did not feel any peace in being there with Michael and I did not feel his spirit. I know in my heart he is at peace because it was cool and quiet (except for the muzak), and pretty, but it didn't feel like the right place for Mike. I miss him TERRIBLY. He must be at peace though. He is sleeping finally and the world cannot bother him. He has his privacy, but not how he wanted it. I am crying as I write this because I loved that man and never understood why the world was out to get him. He was a perfect soul :angel: (as perfect as any human can be) and deserved the complete opposite of what he was handed in life. He was a true survivor and I am so happy to know we got to share with him 40 years of amazing talent and love. I just wish we could have given it back equally before he left. I know for a fact that his spirit does not lie in the sarcophogus next to which I lied. I know why now. He is above and through us. He is now Angel Michael and NO ONE can hurt him or his feelings or make him feel ugly or less than EVERY again. This makes me very happy. I just wanted to see that one time while I was with him when he was alive.
Knowing he was there brought me no resolution to this horror that continues to haunt me. I miss him as much as ever and this unexpected event brought very little closure to saying goodbye. I am unsure if this helps anyone, perhaps not, but i wanted you all to know so you don't try to bust in to see him only to be deeply saddened and disappointed.
I found fans hidden in the bushes outside of the area Michael is buried and they were sobbing. It made me so upset and there was nothing I could do. I wanted to share the video and pictures I had taken, but thought it would only upset them more. I feel very much an outcast by the other fans but do not have some secret motive or agenda. It was a moment, well hours, meant to be for some reason. I was however lost for four hours total and was very scared at a few times. The place is empty guys. NO guards, NO people visiting, but mostly, NO love and NO sharing of pain. I felt SO alone in there. I knew Michael and spent maybe a dozen days with him during his life (as you old timers know) so I thought the chance to see this would make things final. It didn't. It has only disturbed me to the core and saddened me deeply. I want to feel better and move on. I am a 37 year old man for Christ's sake. So sorry to ramble but I am trying to be as forthcoming as I can be. Trust me, this is VERY hard to share and I am nervous about the response.
Any advise is greatly appreciated. Please do not ask to see the pictures. It would be disrespectful and I know they would not stay in one person's hands. I have video inside the Mausoleum in a different area that shows how scared I was and I have outside footage of some of the fans and the memorial. That I am happy to share. I hope to find some support here on my home MJJ site. I feel ostracized by the fans Michael loved and by the people whom all said, with me, that we needed to stay strong together in L.O.V.E. Please tell me you mean it. I feel more alone in my love for Mike than ever. Thanks in advance for your love and support.
PS. Although I didn't feel his spirit in the room, I did feel love emanating from him and his body. I believe he was so full of love, innocence and joy at his very core, that nothing, not even death, was able to take that away. That brought more tears to my eyes, but happy tears. I love you Mike. You really saved my life and the life of SO many. You will NEVER, EVER be forgotten and you will always have a special place in the hearts of millions of people for the rest of time. You did it! You are the most famous person in the world; in the HIStory of the world. As little as this makes things better for me, I know that Michael ended his life fulfilling his ultimate goal. Now it is our job to use the fame he built to teach the world his lessons. Who is with me?
PS. Although I didn't feel his spirit in the room, I did feel love emanating from him and his body. I believe he was so full of love, innocence and joy at his very core, that nothing, not even death, was able to take that away. That brought more tears to my eyes, but happy tears. I love you Mike. You really saved my life and the life of SO many. You will NEVER, EVER be forgotten and you will always have a special place in the hearts of millions of people for the rest of time. You did it! You are the most famous person in the world; in the HIStory of the world. As little as this makes things better for me, I know that Michael ended his life fulfilling his ultimate goal. Now it is our job to use the fame he built to teach the world his lessons. Who is with me?
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Speechless mate 
