Trying to pick my life up again.

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

I've gotten alot of good advice here from people, about all kinds of things. One of my last threads here was about a girl that i liked alot, and wanted to ask her out. But since i'm FAR from a hero, and am rather shy...the first time it didn't happen as i planned. It was during a job-interview training, i think some folks will remember.

Anyway, i was gonna have one more job-interview training on april 19th, and my plan was to ask her out then, simply go for it...but that date turned out to be something very tragic for me and i ended up not going to the training, of course.

Instead of making several threads, i'm just gonna put it all here. And hope to get some advice from you good people I'm tired of being alone and just sitting at home, it's time for a real change, this is a weird time for me, still mourning and i'm not sure what i should do...it's a feeling i've never felt before.
So far i've been playing alot of games to escape from the reality, talking to friends over Xbox live (they all live from a far distance from me) which is helping..but i'm looking for other things too. Having a nice girl by my side at these times would be really good, but especially...i'm ready to meet someone new. I know i can count on my ex-girlfriend for things if i want to talk, but at the same time...something is stopping me from doing so.



1- Every month me and my mom's friend, who has a kid with down syndrome, go to him where he lives in a special nursing home. Two weeks ago and today as well i saw a rather very cute and friendly young lady working there, this is the same lady from like two years ago and at that time i was also really digging her, but i didn't do anything...i just let it be. I spoke alittle with her today and that was that.

I've had it happen several times that i talk to a lady to get to know her better, or simply flat out ask her out, only to hear from her that she's already got a boyfriend. And the chance of this lady already having one, is possible too, of course. Of course that's how it'll always be when you meet someone nice, you have no idea if the person is already seeing someone.

She has an facebook account and also hyves (only known in Holland) and i could contact her via that, but i'm not sure if that's a good idea. She might wonder why i went through all the hassle of finding her on the internet.

I probably should just chat alittle next time with her, if the conversation goes well...i can give her a nice compliment maybe or just ask her out if thats apropriate at the time.From there on i will know if she's interested or not,if not..i can just move on. However....i'm not very good in conversation starters. Any advice for this? I could ask about her work, but thats kinda standard....


2- Like i said..i need new things in my life. My true hobby and passion is videogames, but that also means i spend ALOT of time inside my house, especially if you are unemployed..you just dont get out much. Except for walking with my dog Yoshi that is. It's time that changed.

I'm looking for new activities, but i'm not sure what. Two years ago i tried fitness but wasn't really enjoying it. Maybe that's because the fitness-place was very big, no people of my age and all that. But maybe something else...of course in the USA there are much more activities than in my country, so i hope some dutch people can reply here .

I'm just looking for a new activity, one that gets me out of the house more, maybe meet some new people. What kind of suggestions are there?


Thanks.

 

[ginvid]

Staffordshire, I am not sure about activities since I am kind of a home body. But I just wanted to say I am so sorry about what happened to your dad. I remember reading he was sick, but did not know it had gotten worse. I am really sorry. Nevertheless, I am very happy you are trying to push yourself to new things. I wish you all the success.

 

[Alma]

Yeah, so sad what happened to your father, Staffordshire.. Grieving can be very cruel...

As for other new activities... I don't know, maybe you could get yourself a bicycle to ride in the park somewhere..? It's great for the health if it's out in the open, you're clearing your mind of negative thoughts/ Unfortunately, I only have a stationary one, but that's good for me as well, it feels like shedding off bad emotions or states of mind while walking on it. .. For one, I'm not the most sociable one out there, on the contrary... Personally, when I find more time, I'm hitting some guitar strings in the evening, have bought one recently since I've always wanted to learn to play an instrument. And that's another good distraction, but it can be vexing for the beginners, and I'm one... Reading is another great outlet... for me, personally, reading religious magazines are helping to increase my strength, or books about world issues, helping to broaden the vision and kill the ego every now and then - staying focused on things other than you. ..

But taking walks in a park with a friend would be the best open-air activity for you, especially with your grieving still being relatively fresh... Playing badminton, maybe, tennis, going out at a zoo, checking out the animals' and birds' behavior... Stuf like that... Make sure, though, that if you listen to music, take put the headphones if you're outside, that's not a good thing and would distract you from the real world even more. And by all means, try to contact that girl you like. For advice on what you could ask her and things, maybe someone else on here can help out, am not too inspired right now, lol.

I wish you God's speed with everything, you're a strong person. The fact that you think and are intent on picking your life up anew is one major step ahead, as opposed to being in denial or just feeling like sulking in. ... Best of luck to you. ...

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

I've been away for almost a week, i was staying at a friend's place where all my other friends went to as well, it was awesome. So that's why my reply is late.


Thanks alot people, i always apreciate it. Some folks around me advice me to go look for a job, to get my mind of things but i really don't feel like looking for a job at all. If there's one thing i am not thinking about, its that. It sucks that all my friends live like 2,5 hours away from me(by car) so walking in the park with a friend won't be happening, of course i can always walk in the park with Yoshi..and she's a true friend, just not a human friend . When my relationship ended, more than 3 years ago now....and a year later lost my job, i started sitting at home, and eventually nothing but that. Except for the walks with my dog Yoshi and to the supermarket and with my mom's friend to his son, nothing else. Never tried anything new...so in that sense its my own fault that i'm kinda in 'this' now.

Before all that happened, i used to be really happy, a really easy thinking person and never really worrying about finding a nice girl (of course..at the time i had a girl,lol) but i wanna be that guy again. Women see this too, they see a guy that isn't really happy, doesn't really seems cheerful , they notice that...and of course they'll never be interested in that anytime soon. Just now i had my neighbor from below ringing on my door for something, a very nice and friendly young lady...in any other case i would have tried to start a conversation with her or anything, but i didn't...simply cause i'm not myself, i hope that comes back. One thing is clear...i can't go on like this, i must make a change myself.