Together All the way

earthlyme

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MJJC Legacy Project



Together All the way



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Do you remember where you were when you heard or saw that Michael was no longer with us? Do you remember what you were doing? Who you were with to share that poignant day with? We all have our stories of how we learned about this amazing man who touched our lives beyond belief passing and how we got through it.

My story is very similar as each and every fan on this board. It was a day that I seemed to have forgotten how to breathe or even eat. When I woke up that day, it was one of those days that I felt like staying home watch movies. When I was bored I went to Youtube/Jetzi to watch Michael, I couldn’t wait for his tour. It was I guess you can call it a normal day. My mother was the one that called for me pointing on the screen, she was watching CNN, said that Michael has been taken to UCLA Hospital and that it was serious. In my head I was thinking “Oh yea right, like I’m gonna fall for that again, the media will do anything for ratings.” But when I got on my laptop and logged on to MJJC, I couldn’t get in because the site kept on crashing. That is how I knew that something was very wrong. When I went back to CNN they were saying he was in a comma but then when I checked TMZ, they said he was already gone. Then at Exactly 5:31(EST), Wolf Blitzer said the words that I’d NEVER wanted to hear. “Michael Jackson, the Proclaimed King of pop has died”. I didn’t get it at all, I just sat down My head hurt, no, my body hurt. I cried, just a cry of shock. The world, My world was never going to be the same again. After that, what I did, even going to school was just done without any conscious; it was hard to get on with a normal life after this kind of event.

Few months after that tragedy, I had an opportunity to ask members at MJJC to share with me their stories of June 25th 2009. I got many replies and all so very touching. I want to share them with all of you and show you what Michael really meant to us. Here are some of the replies that I’ve received. You may recognize the names and by reading their replies you will get to know them more. As you read through, also reflect on your similar emotions that you had or still have.
*******************************************************************************
Mrs. Music

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
I'm remembering him, celebrating him, mourning him and most of all, learning from him! He's been a great affect on my life since I was a toddler and I will keep him in my heart forever. The fact that he's up there doing what he was here for but in a bigger and maybe better way, is what keeps me going. He's around me, he's one with the nature and I can feel that.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I was in denial, couldn't believe it. Thought it was some joke again. Somehow I went to sleep (it was night here) and woke up the first morning really confused.

3. What emotions did you feel?
Confused, angry, denial....I really couldn't believe it. Didn't feel sad that time yet. That came a few days after what happened.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was at home, just surfing the net and being busy on my Macbook...and then I read some strange story and put on CNN. Followed the whole thing from the part where he got picked up by the ambulance until the official death.

5. How did your behavior change?
The denial feeling is still here. I still can't imagine that he's gone, it's such a great loss on so many levels that it's hard to deal with. It's also very strange because in fact he feels very much alive because he's still covered in the media, the movie coming out, etc. It's not a normal grieving process.
After the first few days I became very very sad, now that is slightly changed and I can enjoy remembering him, but the hurt is still there. I am now angry also because of the injustice surrounding his death. There's a part of me that died with him.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
Uhm...well, the internet.

7. What’s your goal now that you have experienced this event?
To live a way that he would be proud of, to remember him and teach everyone about this wonderful, amazing man that died way too soon. I'm gonna follow his footsteps and make sure he's in my memory forever and ever and ever.
*************************************************************************
1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
I listened to his music. Though it made me very sad, it was also comforting. I came here in MJJC and talked with the wonderful people here, since I only have one MJ fan friend offline. This place has been a huge help in this process, to be around other MJ fans which I couldn't have done without this place.
My faith in God also helped. I believe Michael is now in better place and there is a reason why Michael had to go.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I could not believe it was really happening. I got a text message from my friend and I just couldn't believe it, I didn't understand it. It came so suddenly and felt so surreal. (and still feels sometimes) Just about 10 hours earlier I had listened to Thriller cast before I went to sleep and thought how amazing Michael is.. (That was about the time when Michael died - but I didn't hear it until the next morning)

3. What emotions did you feel?
For the first few days I was totally numb and didn't cry at all. Then, when the memorial came it really started to hit me and I just couldn't stop crying. For many nights I cried myself to sleep because I couldn't cry in front of my family since they don't understand how much Michael meant to me.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was at home, in my own room. I had just woken up.

5. How did your behavior change?
For the first few days it didn't, I guess I was in state of denial. But now that I've kind of got used to the feeling that he's gone, this whole experience has made me much more mature.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
One of my best friends, she sent me a text message. I woke up, opened my phone and bam. I will never forget that moment, sadly. And who did I
tell about it.. Well, I didn't need to tell anyone since everybody came to me. I'm the only MJ fan in my family and friend circle.

7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
I think just to spread Michael's message to my friends and family. Some of them have wrong facts about Michael and I just want them to know the truth. I want Michael to be remembered for the right reasons - his musical legacy and humanitarian work.
*************************************************************************************

These are a couple of the many replies that i’ve gotten. Before reading these replies, I thought nobody would understand how I felt, how it hurt me and still hurting me. But I was wrong; all of us on here feel so much more than what we show. When I think about it more and more, I feel like this was a test. A test to see if we can recover and band together to help each other through tough times. It was also a tragedy that will never leave us but also a great blessing to see Michael in a better place than the one he lived on for the past 50 years. As a year goes by and another replaces it, we will have the strength to go back to our normal lives but we know in our hearts that we will Never forget what Michael thought us through his songs, made us see magic through his dancing and kindness through his philanthropy. It is one thing that will be constant in my life, it is what I’ve learned that helps me out in the real world. Being kind to others, helpful to others, loving others, caring for others…and so on. This is the biggest life lesson that I’ve ever gotten, even though it took Michael.

After reading this, please share your experience and reactions to June 25th. Ease your mind and let us all comfort each other because the hurt will never go away and we all need someone to lean on to.

So I conclude this reading by sharing with you an encouraging quote…



“God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”




If you are interested in reading more answers from fellow MJJC members, Click here

© By: Romi *earthlyme*
MJJC Legacy Project
January 2010

[youtube]6190ZbcG9jA[/youtube]
I wrote this essay as a closure to all of us that are having a hard time and also on behalf of MJJC Legacy team. It is a chance for all of us to come together and heal our wounds. The pain might not go away and the hurt might still be there in the core of our hearts but if we share what is in our hearts, it might ease the hurt and pain a little bit.



[youtube]FPW8QzvYle4[/youtube]

Michael left us with something very important to do. To make a difference in the world, and to do that means to keep one of his legacies alive.

-So ask yourself, how can i keep Michael's legacy going?

[youtube]avF7e3Qlzys[/youtube]




Check out MJJC Legacy threads to see how you can help Make That Change!

-Plant A Tree
-Make That Change
-Planet Earth
-Making A Difference Newsletter
-Standing Together For Michael



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Environmental Tips


-Tree-Free Home: As much as possible, create a tree-free home:
  • replace paper napkins with cloth napkins
  • replace paper towels with a special set of cloth towels/napkins (or cut up old t-shirts for great towels) - store the used ones in a small container in your kitchen and just wash and reuse
  • purchase bleach-free, toilet paper that is made from the highest
 
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This is touching reading and watching these videos brought tears to my eyes,yet in some way it brings me joy to know others feel as I do. I hope that every member here reads this. This is very important. There have been enough fighting this has got to stop. Thanks earthlyme for writing this. I hope to see everyone add their replys as I will do the same thing I am off to make a list right now.

"..But I was wrong; all of us on here feel so much more than what we show. When I think about it more and more, I feel like this was a test. A test to see if we can recover and band together to help each other through tough times.."
-Romi

:huggy:






1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?

For the first two weeks..I was in Shock. I Watched the TV Reports and it's tons of Tributes. I turned to the internet to find an answer in Michael's Music. And online friends. It took till the night I awoke from sleep on July 7th,the day of the Memorial.. for it to even break through what had happened..I got up out of bed because I felt empty and as if something or someone was 'missing' because they were.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I can't explain it..I don't believe I grasped it,as so many others have said. It felt surreal. I was numb,but at the same time I felt chills cover my entire body. I was in shock. I didn't comprend what I heard.

3. What emotions did you feel?
Shock. Sadness...Empty..as someone in my family passed away,and I've lost 3 close family members and Yes It felt the same..I went and still are going through all the greiving stages.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was at my Mothers. I had stayed the night prior,I had woken up late and was not fully awake starring off in space when my Mother came to me and told me. " I just thought that you would want to know that Michael Jackson is in the hospital. It's on all the news channels.." I turned it on and Chills continued to cover my body..I couldn't grasp this.

5. How did your behavior change?
In Many ways..SO MANY I FIND IT HARD TO BEGIN..


7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
To continue to spread what Michael Jackson stands for. I will do this.. For all the hearts that are open to hear it I will help spread to all what is love..
 
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Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Thankyou Romi for your beautiful post! Sweet of you to put my story in there. I loved reading that thread....it's very comforting!

Hope it makes everyone realize how much we are in the same boat. Let's keep it floating and create a cruiseship! ;D :lol:
No but eventually that cloud that's hanging over our fandom will lay down so everyone can see clear again.

We'll get through - learned from the best, right?!
 
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Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

:lol: tnx for participating. Mrs. Music *btw i got A on the essay* :D...its all thanks to you and the other members.

We'll somehow get through by following his examples...:)

Thankyou again! :D



L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
I remeber it was a Thursday night, i go upstairs to my room sit on my bed and then switch my comp on and then i go on the net. So i go on fb and msn message and fans are going Michael has been rushed into hostial they went it all over the news, at frist i did'nt belive it at all i fount this has to be a joke. So i turn the tv on and put it on the news and there it was one min they where saying michael was dead from Cadiac arress and then it was a coma and then after all that they pronnucs him dead and his bro Jermaine came out and did a stament.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I said to myself this can'nt be happening Michael dead! my idol/icon, so i was in my room crying so much i had to wake my paarents up. They both went Leanne whats wrong? i could'nt get my words out b/c it was a shock, I said Michael has died and my dad goes what? i say michael is dead he went na get out of here, i went im not joking put ya tv on and thy both could'nt belive it, dad said to me how did he die and i went cardac aress and he went oh my goodness. Then my bro and 2 sis phoned up to tell me the news and i said to them i know, my bro want to know what happened and he couls'nt belive it too. But my dad knew from the beginning michael would'nt be albe to do 50 shows in London. I was at home at the time.

3. What emotions did you feel?
Upset,shock, and still crying.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was at home in my room, and i put my laptop on to go on fb and mj forum and then see everyone is talking about it, and i saying ok whats going on here. Then i go on msn and a fan tells me michael has died its all over the news.

5. How did your behavior change?
I do sometime think hes still alive and with us. I found it hard at the begging that he was no longer with us and it still a shock to me now, but i am getting there.
Hes still in my heart and with us in spirt.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
Family,mj fan and the net.

7. What’s your goal now that you have experienced this event?
To counite on Michael legacy and spread love and mj messages, and i just want everyone to hear the turth and facts about Michael b4 they jump to there guns and saying untrue things about him.
 
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Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Earthlyme, I just wanted to say that your essay and video tributes were beautiful. I’m sure you perhaps felt some sense of relief knowing that you were not alone in your grief. Not that we all want others to feel the pain, but knowing that there are others who we can relate to helps ease the pain a little, if that makes sense. I’ve taken the liberty to answer the questions you posted on how Michael’s passing impacted me.

1.How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
At first, I was in shock or denial. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. After a few days, it started to sink in on what really happened. It felt very surreal. I was numb at times, but then other times I was very emotional. The tears would come at any time of the day or night. I started to buy everything that I could of Michael; music, magazines, books, OPUS; anything to keep me connected. I went onto the Internet and found various websites; HTWF, MJJC, MJFC, MichaelJackson.com and just started to read and post. I’ve been a long time fan, but I wasn’t on the forums or wasn’t following too much of Michael. I’m afraid I wasn’t as devoted as some of you are who are on this site. I went in other directions musically for awhile, but Michael was always there. I hold a lot of guilt over that. I’m trying to work through that. I’ve bonded with some people on some of the sites and I’ve gotten involved with the Legacy Project so that I can help preserve Michael’s legacy. I want to do something to really help preserve Michael’s legacy and spirit.

2.What did you think when you first heard about it?
I was numb. I was in shock. At first, it didn’t really sink in. I wasn’t alone for some time afterward. I was with some people after work; however, I kept thinking in the back of my mind that Michael was gone. I still don’t believe it.

3.What emotions did you feel?
I felt many emotions; however, at the top of my head, I’ve felt a deep sense of loss, deep grief, sadness, anger and shock.

4.Where were you when you heard it?
I was on my way to meet some people for dinner. I was listening to the radio. All of a sudden, there was Michael’s song. I thought OMG, something happened, what happened? I thought this because I was listening to a station that normally wouldn’t play Michael’s music. I thought again OMG! The DJ came on and said well if you’re wondering why we are playing Michael Jackson’s music, it's because we are paying tribute to Michael who passed away at 2:26 PM PST. It was 4:30 PM CST. So only 10 minutes had gone by. I was totally stunned. I parked my car and walked into the restaurant and immediately told my friends. They had not heard. Afterward, I immediately drove home and turned on the news. Luckily I work from home a few days a week and the next day was a Friday. So I was fortunate enough to be able to watch the coverage, which I did for the next several days. When the memorial was on, I believe I made sure I worked from home that day. I can’t even remember, because many of those days blend together. That’s how it’s been for the last 6 months.

5.How did your behavior change?
Well, I’m thinking about Michael's approach on things. I’m focused on showing love to everyone and carrying on with his mission of giving, healing the world, saving the planet and protecting our children. I’ve always believed in giving and helping; however, Michael has inspired me to step up even more.

6.Who did you tell about the event?
I told my sister, my family, my friends; anyone who wanted to listen.

7.What’s your goal now that you have experienced this event?
My goal is to spread Michael’s message, be his voice, arms, legs and heart. I’m getting involved in projects in memory of Michael. I’ve donated so trees can be planted in Michael’s name. These are just a few things that I’m doing this year and forever.

I'm glad you received a good grade on your essay. You deserve it!!! :clapping:
"I'll never let you part, for you're always in my heart" :angel:
 
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Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Leanne...Thankyou for sharing. When you say you heard it at night, i thought but this happened in the afternoon! hmmm. Then I saw you are in UK...:lol:. That kinda make sense. :D Thanks again! :)

Wendy-- Thank you for your beautiful words. Yes, I AM relieved that I am not the only one feeling this and sharing it actually made me feel a little better. The thing is, The day it happened, I couldnt get on here. It was saying the site is over capacity. I went to twitter that crushed on me too. Fb too. So I just had to watch CNN on TV (thats the only one that wasn't crushing!)

And hun, You should NEVER feel guilty about anything. As long as you knew about him and what a wonderful man he is that is, IMO, enough! Thank you for joining MJJC :D I'm really glad!!! :D
Thankyou for sharing your experiance :)


L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Hi earthlyme, I couldn't even imagine how you felt not being able to access MJJC, Twitter or FB. Everyone obviously had the same idea that you did. That is the bad thing about technology. When something of this magnitude happens, it doesn't appear that the infrastructure can handle the influx of online traffic. I say that as a technical person. That's pretty scary that we've come to rely on technology in this way. Michael's passing really was such a huge event in so many ways. What happened to you when you tried to get online shows that.

Thank you for your kind words. Yes I do know how wonderful he was. Today was a bad day for me as I was very emotional when listening to any of his music. I'm glad that I found MJJC too. Thank you for being so kind. :cheeky: People like you are why I come back. There are many here. Sorry, see I'm emotional today...WOW:angel:


Wendy-- Thank you for your beautiful words. Yes, I AM relieved that I am not the only one feeling this and sharing it actually made me feel a little better. The thing is, The day it happened, I couldnt get on here. It was saying the site is over capacity. I went to twitter that crushed on me too. Fb too. So I just had to watch CNN on TV (thats the only one that wasn't crushing!)

And hun, You should NEVER feel guilty about anything. As long as you knew about him and what a wonderful man he is that is, IMO, enough! Thank you for joining MJJC :D I'm really glad!!! :D
Thankyou for sharing your experiance :)


L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson? His death didn't actually really hit me until I was watching clips of the memorial service. I basically didn't really feel anything. I guess I was in shock. It didn't really register until a few days after the memorial. My mom and I decided to pop in his HIStory Volume I DVD and watch it. I think it was on the video "Rock With You," watching him smiling and dancing. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I was thinking "OMG, what have we just lost?" That's when I started feeling all the emotions of that realization. I felt like part of my childhood was just ripped out of me.


2. What did you think when you first heard about it? What I usually think about celebrity deaths at first, that it was hoax. I didn't believe it until I came across articles confirming it.


3. What emotions did you feel? Shock, and then later of course a great sadness and emptiness. Confused and lost too because Michael was someone I looked up to as a hero. When you lose your childhood idol, it makes you wonder who you can turn to. Anger as well because I felt and still feel his death was completely preventable.


4. Where were you when you heard it? On the internet. At first I was on IMDB, and saw the headline at the top of the page that said Michael was in the hospital. I was a bit concerned, but I just figured he'd pull through because well...he's Michael Jackson. I was very wrong to assume that of course. Maybe a few hours later I was checking out YouTube and saw all these MJ tribute videos. The thought that popped into my head was "OMG did he die!?" I was still in disbelief. This couldn't be true, but Google searching proved that it was indeed true.


5. How did your behavior change? This may sound strange to say, but my behavior changed for the better in some ways. Let me explain: I took Michael for granted while he was alive. I loved him yes, but he was always more in the background for me as a casual fan. But there's no doubt he had a significant impact on my life as one of my main sources of inspiration. It's something I've forgotten about for years. Coming back to rediscover him opened my eyes I think. It reminds me of who I should become, that I should better myself and try to better the world as well, if only just a little bit. I feel that I've been in the dark all this time and the light has been switched on. It's sad to say it had to be this tragic event to do this to me, but that's the real truth. My emotions are still up and down over losing Michael, but it has helped me to remember what's important too.


6. Who did you tell about the event? My mom. God it really was hard to get myself up to go and tell her because I just couldn't believe it. I think she was just as shocked as I was.

7. What’s your goal now that you have experienced this event?To try to keep Michael's legacy alive both as how he was as an entertainer and as the humanitarian. To try to spread more L.O.V.E in the world. To continue to see the beauty in life. To be kind to my fellow human beings, and to not take what's around me for granted. That is what Michael has taught me.
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Thanks Captain EO :D I told my sister, called her at her work and the words just couldnt come out so I told her i'd text her instead! I just couldnt talk at all...

Thankyou for sharing your experience...:)


L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
I didn't at first, I couldn't comprehend it was happening. I wrote RIP in my status to him but couldn't actually really believe it, I was in shock. My friends kept asking me if I was ok as they knew I was a fan and I was, I just carried on as normal. I was going on holiday a few days later so that was my main focus. I went on holiday to Germany and my friend was talking to me about Michael as she's a fan too and we talking about watching the memorial in our hotel room. The memorial sealed it for me and when I got back to England I became a mess. Worked all the hours possible just so I didn't think of him, it was too painful. Fortunately coming across this place really helped me and things got a bit easier to deal with.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
Like I said I was shocked. Couldn't really believe what was happening. Just didn't sink it.

3. What emotions did you feel?
Nothing at first, as I couldn't comprehend that it happened. After the memorial pain, sadness, and anger.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I drove home from work and when I was walking up the pavement I saw my whole family standing in front of the TV. The only times they have ever done that is when something huge had happened. I knew something bad had happened so I walked into the living room asking what was going on. Then I saw the TV that he had been rushed to the hospital, but deep down in my heart I knew he was already gone.

5. How did your behavior change?
After the memorial my behaviour changed pretty drastically, even my family commented the other day that at times they were worried during the summer as they felt I wasn't taking it very well. Just became focused solely on work really and ended up drinking a bit more. When I found this place it got easier to deal with and started to laugh more and celebrate him. I still cry when missing him gets too much to handle and focusing on spreading his legacy of L.O.V.E. Gone on meet ups and met some amazing people, all together because of one man. I feel that I have become a better person in spite of it all.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
People on Facebook as that night there was nothing else that anyone was talking about. My whole home page was status' about Michael. Family as my mum became a big fan of his after he died and workmates when I got to work the next day.

7. What’s your goal now that you have experienced this event?
To live a life that he would be proud of, to make him proud that I'm a fan of his. Help more people and enjoy life more. Appreciate the world we live in more and help even more people. To spread Michael's legacy is now my goal.
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

OMG!! CaptainEoLove85, your description below is exactly how I feel. I was a huge fan earlier; however, as I indicated in my answer posted earlier, I did gravitate in other directions musically for awhile, so I guess perhaps at that time I would be considered a casual fan...sorry to say...(sigh). Your statement about being in the dark and the light being switched on...EXACTLY!!!!

Peace, love and Michael-smiles forever!!! :angel:

5. How did your behavior change? This may sound strange to say, but my behavior changed for the better in some ways. Let me explain: I took Michael for granted while he was alive. I loved him yes, but he was always more in the background for me as a casual fan. But there's no doubt he had a significant impact on my life as one of my main sources of inspiration. It's something I've forgotten about for years. Coming back to rediscover him opened my eyes I think. It reminds me of who I should become, that I should better myself and try to better the world as well, if only just a little bit. I feel that I've been in the dark all this time and the light has been switched on. It's sad to say it had to be this tragic event to do this to me, but that's the real truth. My emotions are still up and down over losing Michael, but it has helped me to remember what's important too.
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Hi sloride, Your statements below rang true with me as well; however, it was very hard for me to focus on anything over the summer. Everything was about Michael. I suppose in order to function, we had to put more focus on what we were doing. It didn't take long for my mind to drift off into thinking about Michael, reading books, poems and listening to his music. Drinking more, yes perhaps I did the same thing...alot of wine. Coming to sites such as MJJC and other sites helped me deal with this. The emotions were so overwhelming as I didn't expect to grieve so hard. I think not being so tapped into Michael at the time of his passing, I didn't expect to be hit so hard with grief, sadness and heartache. Well I was wrong. I'm still feeling it now. So you are not alone.

I too want to live a life that Michael would be proud of. I ask myself in everything I do, what would Michael do or how would he handle this?

Sending a major LOVE to everyone. :wub: I need to go shovel and blow some snow now as we are getting hit with a winter storm.

Peace and love! :angel:

5. How did your behavior change?
After the memorial my behaviour changed pretty drastically, even my family commented the other day that at times they were worried during the summer as they felt I wasn't taking it very well. Just became focused solely on work really and ended up drinking a bit more. When I found this place it got easier to deal with and started to laugh more and celebrate him. I still cry when missing him gets too much to handle and focusing on spreading his legacy of L.O.V.E. Gone on meet ups and met some amazing people, all together because of one man. I feel that I have become a better person in spite of it all.

7. What’s your goal now that you have experienced this event?
To live a life that he would be proud of, to make him proud that I'm a fan of his. Help more people and enjoy life more. Appreciate the world we live in more and help even more people. To spread Michael's legacy is now my goal.
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
For the first time I felt empty

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I coultnd believe it and I knew my dream seeing him after 12 years for the first wouldnt become the truth..

3. What emotions did you feel?
I felt I lost a family member

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was on a school trip in Italy it was the last week before my summer break. On the way back to holland we were on a boat and when we got off the boat to get on the bus to spend the day in Pisa and after to go to the airport heading home someone said to me did you know about Michael Jackson?


7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
Keeping his legacy alive and spread his messages!
 
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Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Sloride And MJcool... I've got similar experience! My behavior changed drasticly like yours but I couldnt concentrate in my school At all. I used to love Chemistry but now I dont like it at all. I was taking summer classes in Univ. And it was the exact time that this horrid thing happened.

I also started eating a lot. i know most on here were saying they didnt have an appetite right...but mine was the opposite. I just ate i guess to make me feel better. You know when Mike says that Children and animals dont want anything from you and accept you the way you are? well in my case, I'll have to add food on the list also...cuz it doesnt judge or ask why you're crying or Whey you're eating it...

I'm trying to get into my normal diet before Michaels passing but its a lot harder than i thought.

I could ramble on and on...sorry...:D

Thanx for sharing ...:D


L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
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Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Oh Tamara, That brought back memories. My mom also told me that he was in the hospital. :(

Thankyou for being the 1st one to comment. :D


L.O.V.E.
Romi

No Problem..I remember when you had posted the thread asking 4 everyones thoughts,for you & your school project,but i was still so overwhelmed that I didn't get to answer..I'll never forget that day when my Mother told me..:cry: Thanks again for writting this..it comforts me. :hug:
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

No Problem..I remember when you had posted the thread asking 4 everyones thoughts,for you & your school project,but i was still so overwhelmed that I didn't get to answer..I'll never forget that day when my Mother told me..:cry: Thanks again for writting this..it comforts me. :hug:
:hug::better:
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Here are some of the other participants...


ChrissyBrown
Christina 24 from Australia

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
Talked to my mum & friends about it. They helped a lot.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I didn't believe it until the Wednesday when I broke down in tears.

3. What emotions did you feel?

Sadness, angry, confusion

4. Where were you when you heard it?
Heard about heart attack at 7.30am Friday morning then when I arrived in New Zealand my boyfriend told me he had died.

5. How did your behavior change?

Didn't sleep well for 5 nights. Felt a lil down & I guess still feel down. Haven't changed that much.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
Didn't have to tell anyone cause everyone knew.

7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
Live life to the full. You never know what's around the corner.
To love unconditionally.

snorlaaax

Hi, I'm Maura. 17 years from The Netherlands, hope I can help you out.:)

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
As weird as it may sound, I try not to think of it. I think I'm still in some sort of denial, I just pretend it didn't happen at all. I'm acting like I am still waiting for my concert to come. It's just those little things that sometimes put me back in reality, things like the memorial or small clips from This Is It.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I didn't know what to think, because it all came so unexpected. At first, I didn't (want) believe. I didn't know if it was true and I was so confused about the whole thing. But after Jermaine made a public statement, a part of me realized that it was true. I was loosing my mind, I was literally grabbing my hair..I couldn't even cry. I was telling myself that whole night that it wasn't true, that we still would see pictures of his shopping the next day and that everything would be allright.

3. What emotions did you feel?
Nothing, I was on one hand shocked I think. But I couldn't cry that evening, because I didn't believe what had happened. I just went numb.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was at home. I just came home from a shopping trip, I was actually shopping for a dress to wear at the concert. I bought myself a ticket the day before he died, and I had really good seats. I was excited and wanted to wear something pretty, because I thought he was going to see me, since I would be sitting so close.

5. How did your behavior change?
The first few weeks, I just got really sick. Like I was so tired all the time, feeling dizzy, having headaches and not eating. Maybe I just wanted to make myself sick. There were times were I didn't really care anymore what was happening around me. I didn't feel like doing anything at all. I didn't want to go out with friends, or leave my house. I would only leave the house, to buy myself tribute magazines and stuff.

Now I am still sad. I am trying to continue my life, the way I used to do before 25th June. I am going out again with my friends, I am going to school, doing all the fun stuff I used to do. It's just that my mind is still constantly with Michael. There are times when I really am trying to have a good time and am smiling, but the emotions I feel inside are just..let's just say that whatever I am doing and whatever good time I'm having..I could break down and cry in a second if I wanted to.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
I tried talking about it with my friends, but that didn't help. They don't understand, they sometimes even make jokes about it. I talked about it with other fans, they are so understanding and sweet. What a lot of people misunderstand, is that Michael Jackson's fancommunity is so close and tight. We always help each other out.

7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
My goal for now, is to continue is legacy. To make sure that not only his music and videos will live on forever, but also the man himself. I want to show everyone what a sweet, caring and loving person he was. I wish the whole world could see that, it will make them understand why so many people love him. That and supporting his kids in any possible are my main goals.

Besides that, I would like to make my dreams come true. Seeing Michael succeed in life, makes me want to succeed. He was just such an inspiration on so many things. I never really liked going to school. I'm not stupid and I know that I can do everything we learn, but I'm just really lazy. Now whenever I do not feel like going to school, I just tell myself I need to do it for Mike. That he would have hated it, if I would drop out. Thanks to him I believe in magic. Thanks to him, I believe that I can be anyone I want to be, if I just work for it.



L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Just a Girl

I'm 38 and live in the US.


1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
Honeslty, I'm not sure if I have still fully dealt with his death. I'm not sure I ever will be able to. I have never dealt with death well at all. I tend to just block those emotions. I know that isn't the healthiest way to live but I deal with things in time, when I'm ready to. Its not time yet. I have tried to do things to keep my mind off everything. I have been very fortunate to have found this forum and have made some truly great wonderful supportive friends that have helped me through some really bad moments :)huggy: my fellow appleheads, you know who you are).

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
That it can't be true, that he was too young and it had to be another tabloid BS story.

3. What emotions did you feel?
Numbness, shock, distraught, heartbreak, anger, grief. I know I have never meet Michael, I came close out here in Vegas last year, but my anxiety got the better of me and I had to leave, I dont handle surging crowds very well :lol:. That is something that I have thought about since his death. I regret that day forever now, I wanted to tell him thank you. I was lucky enough to see him in concert during his Bad tour in the US and had always wished he would tour the US again.

It took me a few weeks to really understand why i was so devestated, when I was younger, I had a bad family life and had always prayed at night to God, to bring him into my life to save me, cause I knew he helped all those children, I wanted him to come save me. For this 8 year old he was my knight in shining armour, I'm not sure if that makes sense and if you want me to claify it more I can. But when he passed, I lost that bit of happiness that kept me alive when i was younger.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was at work with some clients, we have a TV in the clubhouse and as we where walking back we all stopped and watched CNN, all 3 of us started crying. I'm still not sure how I made it threw the rest of the day.

5. How did your behavior change?
I have beendepressed, such overwhelming saddness the first weeks, months. It's gotten better but I'm still sad most days. When i think of his kids being without there dad, I become an emotional wreck. I have started taking better care of myself, cause I want more out of my life and there are many things i have yet to do. not sure if it has to do with his passing or not, but deep down in my heart i think it does. The fact that we lost the most wonderful of humans this world has ever known is so hard to undertsand. He went threw so much during his life and endured so much pain.. why this? to me it just doesn't seem fair.

Some things that have changed for the better, I started drawing again and am doing things to work on "having a life", what I mean by that is i moved to Las Vegas 8 years ago and had cut myself off from family/friends and have been just doing the work, go home routine for years now. I was just exsisting, now I want to live. I reached out to my friends and family about 3 weeks ago and am planning a visit back home. I want to do the things i have been puttign off for years. Do I think it's cause of Michael passing, absolutley.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
Some really close friends, cause they got worried about me. My co workers know cause it was on the news there. I stopped talking about things with some of my friends, cause they started to talk really bad and didn't even consider what the things they where saying was hurtful.

7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
To live not just exsist.

Sorry for rambling so much, it helped to talk about some of this, so thank you. if you want any more information just pm me :)


L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Marilyn Monroe

-im in the 20's age group.

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
Well, he was one reason i enjoyed living.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
i don't really know how to answer this question, but it was unbelievable..it happened so fast once the news hit.
i was in denial.


3. What emotions did you feel?
Physically sick, emotionally sick even when i saw the emergency thread here on MJJC before we knew he died.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
At Home.

5. How did your behavior change?
I became real quiet.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
Noone, well everyone knew.
if you mean talking it out...friends, family.


7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
I never took life for granted, i never took Michael's life for granted while he was still here, and i will continue now not to take this life for granted.
so, basically i looked up to what Michael did very much in life and how he made me happy and to strive, and he also enjoyed life, and i will continue to do the same.



L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

littlesparrow

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?

I am still trying to deal with it, I guess. I never really though it'd affect me as much as it has, but I'm coping by focusing on all the wonderful things he's done and all he's left us. Listening to his music non-stop and re-watching all of his short films helps, because for a little while it feels like he's still here.

I'm also coping through this board! :)
The people on here have really helped me feel less weird about mourning him.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I was just in total disbelief.
And my heart was screaming for his kids.

3. What emotions did you feel?
I honestly felt like I'd lost a friend.
It was really strange, because I'd never experienced really, truly missing someone I had never met.
I couldn't stop thinking about being a kid and hearing "Man In The Mirror" for the first time.
I felt nostalgic all day, and just really terrible. Everything reminded me of him, which I thought was strange because he wasn't in my thoughts daily before that.

"Got To Be There" came on the radio in the car and I just totally lost it.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was on vacation with my boyfriend. We were in the hotel room getting ready for dinner and I noticed MJ videos being played on the television. I was singing and dancing and acting silly until I realized the screen said "rest in peace, 1958-2009".

5. How did your behavior change?
I went to dinner in a trance. They were showing Michael's short films on the TV at the bar and I was just staring at it all night feeling so weird.
As soon as I got home from my vacation I spent hours reading about Michael, learning more, listening to his music constantly. A day hasn't gone by when I don't think about him.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
I texted my mother, my cousin (who I first bonded with over his music) and a few of my friends to tell them and everyone was just so sad.
Felt like a family member had gone.

My boyfriend and I visited his 83-year-old grandmother and when we got there, she was sitting in her living room alone, watching "Beat It" on TV and crying. It was so sweet and so sad.

7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
It's really cliche and everyone else has probably said this too, but to actually live life, not just float along passively, letting things happen to me.

I admire him so much for making a real difference, and truly caring about the children and the people of the world.
And if I could do a fraction of the good that he did I will be happy.




Gosh this made me feel sad.
(I'm 21, also, in case that's important information!)
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

I'll post my answers to those questions tonight :(
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Krshna28

1. For weeks I was unsure how to move on. But eventually I convinced myself that life must go on and we all must remember that Michael is the absolute best entertainer that ever lived and we should rejoice his life.
2. I first heard that he was rushed to hospital with cardiac arrest and I thought that it was rubbish because everything the media said about Michael in the past 15-20 years has been rubbish. Then the news came that he died. At this point I was hoping that he was not dead and it was just either a hoax by the media or a publicity stunt. Then Jermaine came to confirm the news and he was really dead. Initially I thought there must of been something wrong, that he was murdered (drugged). I then thought that people like him were never meant to grow old (just like Peter Pan). I already had doubts that he could reach the age of 60 (although I hoped he could reach 65 for his children's sake).
3. When Jermaine confirmed his death, I was genuinely lost for the first time in my life. And I was like this for at least a whole 24 hours. But I really felt for Michael's children...it has been so unfair on them! When I heard about this doctor I instantly knew that somthing was very wrong. The weeks following, I got very angry at the media claiming that Michael was a junkie and his kids have about 30 maternal parents. I was also very angry at all these "friends" and "doctors" selling their stories to the papers. The news people and the papers still continued to call him "*****" even after he died which I though was worst.
4. I was at home ready to go sleep.......I ended up going to sleep at 4:00am after seeing the live news for as much as I could bear.
5. I don't think that my behaviour has changed one bit.
6. Nobody, I don't like to inform people that someone has died. And it's impossible to miss news like this.
7. Make something out of my life and enjoy life to it fullest. I also appreciate my family and friends a whole lot more.

P.S. i'm 21 so that puts me in the 20's category!!!!
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

My name is Ashley and I'm 24 from Brooklyn, NY

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?

I cried and I continue to cry...but at the same time I tried to think of how blessed I am to have even been alive during his time.
I draw him, I think about him, I watch him...those things help me cope with grief.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
It was a big "WTF" moment for me, I was like "this is a hoax"
I was calm at first thinking there was no way this could be true it's impossible...but when I found out ....it was the shock of my life.

3. What emotions did you feel?
Shocked and devastated

4. Where were you when you heard it?
I was at work, when a co worker came and told me, I couldnt believe it. We had checked CNN and it only said he was hospitalized...I didnt check again until about 2hrs later because I needed to know....and there it was.

5. How did your behavior change?
I am not the person I was before June 25th 2009,
I'm sad all the time, I might me smiling outside but inside I'm hurting. I'm just clinged to him, all I do is talk about him.
I don't care about alot of things anymore, I'm more lazy than I was...I don't really want to be happy...I'm a sad case.

The only thing I'm not sad about is trying to become a better person and not taking life for granted.

6. Who did you tell about the event?
A co worker told me.

7. What’s your goal now that you have experienced this event?

To become a better person and really try to make this world a better place. I cannot allow his death to be in vain, he worked to hard and gave so much to this world.
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

1. How did you deal with the death of Michael Jackson?
It's still hard for me. Every day is difficult. I have friends who I can talk to, I have this forum and livejournal where I can share my feelings and that helps a lot. But I am still grieving and still trying to deal. It's still very painful, I cry a lot and sometimes I can't even control it, I can sit in a subway car listening to his music and suddenly burst into tears... I am trying to cope, to find something positive. But I don't always succeed. Although I hope I will. Someday.

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I read about it online and I couldn't believe my eyes.

3. What emotions did you feel?
During the first day it was denial. I couldn't understand it. In my mind, Michael was constant, he was someone who would be here forever. And I just couldn't believe it. When the realization finally hit me, I couldn't stop crying for several weeks.

4. Where were you when you heard it?
When it happened, it was night in Moscow and I was asleep. When I woke up in the morning I saw a text message from my friend who was going to London with me to the July 13 concert. She wrote "Do you know already?" I thought that the concert was being rescheduled again and went online to check the news. And I saw it.

5. How did your behavior change?
I used to be a happy optimistic person. Now I am very quiet and kind of indifferent... Nothing excites me. And I am not afraid of death anymore. Because Michael is there so what's to be afraid of?

6. Who did you tell about the event?
I didn't have to. My family know I am a fan and they knew I was going to the concert. So my father even called me in the morning to check on me. And my colleagues at work also knew about the concert, and all of them were very respectful, they kept telling how sorry they were and pretended not to see me crying.

7. Whats your goal now that you have experienced this event?
I try to be a better person. And I make sure that I tell people I care about that I love them every chance I get.

(I am 31)
 
Re: MJJC Legacy Project: Together All the way

Oh my god, I couldn't even finish that video. I thought I was doing ''ok'', but lately I am just so sad again. Like I am literally crying every single day again. I am so tired of being sad, I am so tired of still being confused. I just want to accept/realize it so I can try to move on with my life. But it just feels like I'm still being stuck in that aweful summer of 2009. I can still remember everything like it happened yesterday, it just feels like someone punched a huge hole in my heart.

I am still in some sort of denial. I still feel like I am going to see him in concert, as crazy as that might sound. Sometimes something just happens which makes me go like ''WTF are you even thinking. He's not coming back anymore.'' and then I just feel so empty that I never had the chance of telling him that I loved him so much in person. I feel guilty for not being there for him enough, there was always something more I could do.
I remember his 50th birthday, I went to a MJ event and they were recording a video which they were going to send over to him and I walked away because I was felt embarrassed. Now I just wish I stayed and screamed that I loved him just like the rest, that maybe he would have seen it and would have actknowledge my love for him.

''Besides that, I would like to make my dreams come true. Seeing Michael succeed in life, makes me want to succeed. He was just such an inspiration on so many things. I never really liked going to school. I'm not stupid and I know that I can do everything we learn, but I'm just really lazy. Now whenever I do not feel like going to school, I just tell myself I need to do it for Mike. That he would have hated it, if I would drop out. Thanks to him I believe in magic. Thanks to him, I believe that I can be anyone I want to be, if I just work for it.''

It's actually really sad that I wrote that, because I have done nothing to make my dreams come true. In fact, I don't even know what my dreams are anymore. I don't even know what I want to do in and with my life. I had so much lust for life, a lot of that died with him. It's not that I want to die or anything, I just don't really have a goal in life anymore. I just feel lost a lot of the time...
 
Can I still reply here? I just made it back on the forum...
Hey Romi... It's me... Daryll you know... Long time no see hey... so cool, you're part of the 'legacy' project :clapping:

Anyway, these are my "two cents" in the whole Michael 2009 adventure...

1. How did you deal with the death of MJ?

Honestly, it didn't come to me as a 'suprise' though it still 'shocked' me beyond my belief... The first akward feelings began in Aug 2008... I was working 'full time' as a receptionist and I first thought I was just tired and drained... I couldn't listen to Michael's music anymore as all I did was cry... that was really wierd as I listen to his music 24/7 ...
Then in Nov 2008... I saw a 'written' comment of Michael on a forum saying... "Be alive..." That totally 'freaked' me out... It felt like he was 'preparing' us...
Then in the following months, I had 'nightmares' ... seriously disturbing nightmares of me going to his funeral, how my life was after his death, how he was murdered, etc...
Then in March 2009, we had the announcement of THIS IS IT and I 'fooled' myself by claiming he was all right but the Michael there in the press conference wans't the Michael I knew... There was something eerie about him... His walk, his tone of voice,...
Then April came and since I wasn't 'paying attention' to all the signs before... HE 'reached' me through the only channel I would 'listen' to... I'm a 'writer' okay... So, he 'pumped' a story in me... a real disturbing story about him being murdered by a guard... :bugeyed

and still... I bought 4 tickets for the THIS IS IT tour... :no: "Stupid me"
My friend booked the trip to London and the hotels and stuff and still I had the 'wierd' feeling in me... I told her: I'm gonna ask for a refund and cancel the tickets. Michael isn't gonna make it to July! We are NEVER gonna see him on that stage..." So, I cancelled the tickets and we got all our $$$ back that we used for the 'tribute' trip to London in July 2009 then...

2. What did you think when you first heard about it?
I told my friend boldy : "Do you believe me NOW? " I feel so quilty still... He tried to 'tell' me and I didn't 'listen' :no:

3. What emotions did you feel? Quilt... Shock... denial... but most of all QUILT that I didn't 'listen' to all the 'stupid' signs... :no:

4. Where were you when you heard it?
My friend woke me at 6:15 AM :wild: in the morning on the 26th of June... Yeah, we live in Belgium right! I lived in utter shock that day... My mum called and she didn't dare to ask how I felt... if I knew already but I turned on my TV and it was all over the news... I live alone, you know... That's why I hardly watch TV anymore and certainly NOT the news... Just the shock that they would 'announce' Michael is dead again... :no:
June 25 was a day everything went wrong... I was so 'nervous' that day... It felt like 'doomsday' ... I was all over the place... My job had just finished at June 22 and I was at a 'jobcentre meeting' ... then in the evening... I couldn't focus... My Excel program 'flipped'... I couldn't concentrate on writing... Exhausted, I fell asleep and it felt like the next day would be 'doomsday'... It was when I got woken by the phone when my friend said... "You wanna hear the bad news... MJ is dead... It felt like someone had slid my throat... I couldn't breathe... I couldn't think... I couldn't eat... I could not even cry...

5. How did your behaviour change?
I got really ill first and two OP's later I almost went home... I almost jumped off my balcony last August :doh: How could I be 'strong' facing and battling all these 'medical' problems without Michael here on earth but I couldn't have imagined how Michael 'guided' me through that storm :angel:

NOW... I enjoy the 'simple' things of life... Like I love clouds, love the sunset, love butterflies, love trees...
I 'treasure' more memories as this is all what you can take with you when you home... I have seen the 'edge of heaven' ... :tease:
I don't take anything for 'granted' anymore and I don't 'nag' about stupid stuff like the 'stain in my toilet' ... Gee, It's still gonna be there when I have to go home and I rather take 'beautiful' memories with me of peeps that I loved and made them smile... :better:

6. Who did you tell about the event?

Everyone, that I met... friend and foe alike... I 'mourned' really deeply... I lost my brother, my rock, my mentor, my best friend...
There's 'life after death' I'm sure of that...
What hurted me the most is that I didn't have the chance to say 'goodbye' ... Didn't have the chance to hug him and tell him how much I love him... I wanted to tell Michael so much... wanted to 'take care' of him like he was 'my baby' :wub:
I lost 'relatives' but I didn't really 'mourn' them as I said my Goodbyes and stuff...

7. What's your goal now that you have experienced this event?

My NEW mission in life is to give L.O.V.E to my friends and family. To treasure 'every' memory... To NEVER take anything for granted... To 'immortalize' myself here on earth by 'nurturing' my talents...
THANK YOU MICHAEL! You are truly an :angel:

OMG! That is a long post hey... Looks I told my whole life story here... Thanks for reading folks... :cheeky:
 
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