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to much

Ingelief

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I have a really bad crying day... Hearing Michael singing, with all his fire and passion..

Like another day

Its just to much for me, its just to much for me, its just to much for me,
i cant make it baby...
 
aww..its ok..we are all in this together....:hug:..it is NOT easy..we are here for each other ..please know this.
 
I know exactly how you feel. It is still pretty bad for me at times. I am trying very hard not to cry over Michael again today. I still don't think I can handle watching him yet. Though I miss watching him so very badly. Especially my HIStory concerts. Where listening to him I can handle just as long as I avoid certain songs that I used to L.O.V.E. like Man In The Mirror and Heaven Can Wait. And that new MJ album I have yet to take the plastic wrapped that it came in off. I just really have no desire to want to listen to that album yet. I would rather just listen to the MJ albums that came out when we still had him.
 
I know how you feel. I really want him so badly back, I miss him every single day, and it hurts so much when I look at his face. It just make me miss him more. :no:
You can talk to us and I if you need it :hug: :heart:
You just have to know, that you're not the only one in this world.
 
It's always difficult to go on, knowing that he's no longer with us in the way that we expected him to be. But, you must know that he loves you, and that he truly is there, in every moment of your life, of my life, of his childrens' lives. We may not be able to see him with our eyes, but we'll always be able to see him with our hearts, and that is truly the most important sight, out of the two. So, be strong, and know that he's always with you, even when you feel like you're alone.
 
Me too,its just to hard to come to terms with it so i just beleve he is still out there.its like the only person i truly loved and understood and now hes gone forever....but michael is with us in spirit,no one can take that Away.he will be with us everyday.
Xxxx
 
Ingelief said:
your so kind.. im glad im not alone here
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No, dear, you are not alone at all in this feeling. And in fact, I thank you so much for creating this topic. Yesterday I had one of those days when Michael is on my head all day long and at some point I felt like there was something wrong with me. I am not crying every single day, as during the first 8-10 months (not that I want to, for that was terrible). Instead of that I feel such a horrible emptiness inside and below all that emptiness, just pure sadness. A dark sadness that follows me even when I am having good times. It's hidden there, lurking, spying, making sure I am not forgetting about it.

Michael has brought so much joy and happiness to my life, that I hate feeling this way. I feel I this is not the way he would want me to think of him, but I can't help it. Instead of the many tears I had before, there is this huge empitness and sadness. I'm not gonna lie and say that I am totally depressed. I manage to go on being "normal" out there. But the pain remains. It doesn't go away. It just changes. But it doesn't go away.

I miss him so much. And I keep feeling I failed him in so many ways and that I keep failing him. He wouldn't want to me to avoid his music... but I have to avoid certain songs that just break my heart. And his videos... and his two books.... I can't see/read them! And I hate it :cry:
 
PCR said:
No, dear, you are not alone at all in this feeling. And in fact, I thank you so much for creating this topic. Yesterday I had one of those days when Michael is on my head all day long and at some point I felt like there was something wrong with me. I am not crying every single day, as during the first 8-10 months (not that I want to, for that was terrible). Instead of that I feel such a horrible emptiness inside and below all that emptiness, just pure sadness. A dark sadness that follows me even when I am having good times. It's hidden there, lurking, spying, making sure I am not forgetting about it.

Michael has brought so much joy and happiness to my life, that I hate feeling this way. I feel I this is not the way he would want me to think of him, but I can't help it. Instead of the many tears I had before, there is this huge empitness and sadness. I'm not gonna lie and say that I am totally depressed. I manage to go on being "normal" out there. But the pain remains. It doesn't go away. It just changes. But it doesn't go away.

I miss him so much. And I keep feeling I failed him in so many ways and that I keep failing him. He wouldn't want to me to avoid his music... but I have to avoid certain songs that just break my heart. And his videos... and his two books.... I can't see/read them! And I hate it :cry:
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I know exactly what you mean PCR.

wendijane said:
yes it is too much
:better:
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I totally agree especially for me. Ever since I had gotten up this morning. All I have been doing is just sadly think about and just cry over Michael. I probably just should of stayed in bed all day today it was that bad for me. Even watching the revenge scenes in the Bollywood movies Anjaam and Ghajini which usually always makes me feel better. Didn't even help neither did watching some comedy. All I could do was just cry and sadly think about my Michael. And just plainly wish I was dead so I could be with him now. I just hate living so much now. Especially since all I can feel anymore is just misery, sadness, and anger. And the anger that I feel is only towards the evil monster that did this to me in the first place. I just so badly miss the days when I was always happy and always telling jokes about something. Of course we still had Michael when I was like that. Now all the happiness that I once had is just forever gone from me. I just hate feeling like this all of the time now. And because of my depression I can't do the one thing that I just so badly miss doing. And that is watch any of my MJ related videos or dvds that I have. I have tried many times to watch something MJ related and all I can do is just start crying over him again. And I just totally wish there was a way I could go back and watch him without wanting to cry all over him again. Especially since I really want to get my 2 little nephews started on becoming MJ fans. But with my depression being as bad as it is now it is just something I can not handle on doing yet. :boohoo:
 
:( I think we all know exactly how you feel. It's hard for everyone but we have being strong. We're here for Michael and for the LOVE that unites us. :hug:
 
:sad2: :boohoo:
That part of the song makes me cry too: "It is too much for me" it sounds like plea for help....
 
20 months today....
TWENTY long, dark, sad months today.
Is this really true?
is he really gone?
how can this be? how??

:cry:
 
@pcr thanks for your post about me creating this topic. i know what you mean.
I dont have michael fans in my life, so i have only you guys :)
im glad that you all understand what i mean, and that i can talk about it here.
X hugs for everybody
 
Ashtanga said:
:cry: *big sigh*



:better: and :hug:
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Ingelief said:
@pcr thanks for your post about me creating this topic. i know what you mean.
I dont have michael fans in my life, so i have only you guys :)
im glad that you all understand what i mean, and that i can talk about it here.
X hugs for everybody
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It's really good to know we are not alone in all this horrible pain. We certainly need a space to share our pain, our feelings, our ups and downs.
Thanks to all and hugs of love to all :hug:
 
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