These Are The Gays Of Our Lives (Drama!)

[Travis]

Sometimes it really sucks being a little more old fashioned in this day and age. I'm not snooty and I don't look down on anyone but I do have my own personal standards.

Anyhoo, a problem has presented itself. I dodged it a couple times before but it presented itself yet again. My husband's brother (for anyone who has followed me I have had problems with him before) has invited a former lover to dinner. Not mine, but his one time boyfriend who it just so happens my husband was once with too (at a different time of course). Yeah, I know. That's a whole nother story with it's own set of moral dilemma. Even so, I don't hold it against my husband because that's in the past and there's no reason to punish him for something that can't be undone.

You would think this would be a problem for all but my husband's brother and his own bf hang out with this guy all the time. They're all best friends. I personally don't give a rats ass what freaky things they do in their own personal lives but I don't want any part of it. Maybe I'm not modern enough, but I have no desire at all to hang out with someone that my husband has had sex with. No way. Neither does my husband. He knows it would be uncomfortable for the both of us.

So, my husband calls me up this morning to tell me this is all happening and asked me what to do. I told him to tell the truth. Honesty is the best policy. I would think it would be common sense that this would make for an uncomfortable situation but I guess not.

Maybe some would see what my husband's brother doing as mature and progressive (being able to socialize with past lovers while with current ones) but I personally find it in bad taste. How tacky can you get?

I feel bad to talk about personal stuff like this here but it's not like any of you know me in my everyday life and I have no one else to talk to about this stuff.

 

[jfleenor2]

I agree with you. Ask your husband to tell his brother that he doesn't want the former lover coming to your house. Just say "tell the truth, it would be uncomfortable for me and my wife, please ask him not to come over, and explain to him the feelings. I think he would understand and honor the request".

 

[Marilyn Monroe]

soap opera drama eh?
i remember my uncle was an issue with our family for years , for different reasons entirely, but i got so sick of it to a point i had to say something at the time.
you really need to take them aside and say, okay this is how you are........fine!!!!! but at least do not bring it into MY house. and make sure your husband makes it crystal clear too. or they will continue to make you feel uncomfortable when they come over. and i know what thats like and its hell, a home should be a place of solace. and if its out and about , might as well not hang out with them.

 

[StarSecret]

I dont think you're old fashioned. It would be terribly uncomfortable being around someone your husband has been intimate with. I understand that... no matter how long ago or how insignificant it was, it's NEVER fun to be around someone you know your significant other has been with. Your brother in law might be able to be friends with ex's, more power to him if he's secure enough and his partner is secure enough for that, but he should take your feelings and your husband's into account too.