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The Pour Your Heart Out Thread

TheChosenOne

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Hello everyone

I notice that we seem a bit scattered today which is perfectly understandable. As someone who has been a fan of Michael's for 26 years, I need to come to MJJC and find one thread where I can talk, grieve and vent. I need that today.

So Mods, if it is okay, I would like to start this thread in the main discussion board. I will understand if you need to move it.
 
I feel utterly devastated and incosolable. I never thought this day would come but I am living it and it is a nightmare. I didn't sleep at all last night with thoughts about Michael, his family and his children. My hopes and dreams have died.
 
Thanks, yaazgurl!

The pain I feel today is so encompassing it that I am finding it hard to move past it. I hear his music, see his image and I cannot believe that he is gone. I am listless and everything seems a bit unreal.

I have loved that man for so long that I feel as if a part of me is gone.

Right now I just want to be with people who understand and can relate to how I feel.

I hope others will share.

Nancii
 
I'm watching his videos right now and crying my heart out. Life will never be the same without him.
 
I am trying to stay strong until the 13th when ill b egoing to the 02 to pay my respect but this is the worst time of our lives.
I cant bear to listen to his songs again, i am afriad of even going out to the shops incase they play his music and break down and cry.
I dont know what im going to do without Michael, it pains me to read these pages/threads here talking about R.I.P and the funeral.
It was only 24 hours ago when it was the goold old days, we were filled with joy and excitement thinking of what the future held for us all and Michael.
How can this be?? i want to wake up from this nightmare and return to the wonderful world of This Is It.
What else is left ?
Michael was everything to us.
I keep praying for Michael and i hope to see him very soon.

GOD BLESS EVERYONE
 
I keep thinking about the resurrection and that is my only hope now.
 
OUR WORK IS CARRYING ON!!!!!!

Media has already began contacting us...

It is like no time to acknowledge the empty feeling inside..must carry on and be strong...I will update my Homepage and Facebook.

I last spoke to him, at length late Feb. and for a short bit, last week Monday. He had plans for us that were beautiful and breathtaking...

Love


ABP
 
i cannot watch or listen to anything. it will take a while to start. the world is not the same without him. why was he taken from us now? why this time has come now? it seems so absurd and unreal. i understand the fact but i dont comprehend it. i'm trying not to cry as i'm afraid i will end up screaming of pain.

our dearest dearest Michael
 
AFB, you had the pleasure of talking to him on the phone? That was my prayer. I had been writing to him everyday since I met him on October 12, 2008. I used to come home and check my messages in the hopes that he had called. Now I can never expect a phone call anymore.
 
I feel lost and am devastated. I don't know what to think or do....I hope to wake up tomorrow and realise that it was all just a bad nightmare,
 
I have been overwhelmed by the support of my friends and family. They understand that this is like having a death in the family. And I am afraid to really let it out because I WILL scream in pain for hours and hours.

My baby is gone. My baby is gone. My baby is gone.

It just hurts so much.
 
TeharaMJ I am also in East London. Maybe we can meet up. And I also keep thinking that I will wake up from this very bad nightmare but I know I wont.
 
I can't put words to the pain but its like you said, my baby is gone.
 
:cry::cry::cry:I am having a very hard time with this....I just can't stop crying about this.. He was from my era....I am so sad it's incredible. I need you guys now...
 
The pain is to strong for me to bear. I just keep on telling myself that this is not happening. I can't make myself truly believe it. I can't think about it FOR REAL.
He's gone. He's actually gone.

It hurts too much. My dreams died last night. A huge part of what I am, a huge part of so many people. I'll never stop loving him, even though I never got to see him.
I'm just falling apart. I can't take this. I hate saying it, but R.I.P Michael.
You'll always be in my heart, in all our hearts. We love you most.
 
This is soooo upsetting, I wouldnt ever have throught Michael would have died at such a young age! I love him so much and I just cannot stop crying. I am just soooo gutted that I will never get to see him, I was so close 27 days today would have been my first time and now thats gone. I would give anything to see him anywhere, even at a distance! I love Michael so much and my prayers go with his children and the rest of his family! This is not the end of MJ, there is many more years to come! Michael you are always in my memory, I love you so much!
 
The tears are freely flowing now. When I first heard the news, for the first three hours I had no tears I was so shocked and so numbed. Now its crashing down on me.
 
It's a pain, which will stop once in my life.
And it's still very confusing. I was at a store to buy another album of Michael (which I already have) and they had put the Dangerous dvd on. I'll be there pepsi commercial came and I almost felt my tears again.
But the legend is living somewhere and he will always be in my heart.
I pray for those children (which I think they will be outstanding human beings in the future.)
 
I've turned the tv off. I'm trying to sleep and all I hear in my head is Gone Too Soon
:(
 
Well I now I am feeling angry.

I am angry wiith the ridiculous and pointless Larry King who had the gall to say that it was hard to love Michael.

That galled me.

It is hard to love a man who sang MITM, HTW, and Earth Song? Hard to love a man who gave and gave and gave to people in need, who opened his home to thousands? Hard to love a man who never denigrated others in his music, was professional in his performances? Hard to love a man that was never seen out carousing, boozing and picking up women?

Is Larry King for FREAKING real?

As MJChiChi said in another thread, if ANYONE comes up to me with any CRAP about Michael - IT IS ON. THE GLOVES ARE OFF. I AM COMING OUT SWINGING.
 
I'm surprised by Larry. I thought he was a supporter. He seemed to interview the family often.
 
I have no idea what to do with myself right now. I'm typing this with "All in the Family" on because I need something lighthearted to listen to.

Yesterday I was numb and in shock, watching the news reports as they got more and more grim. My mom came to sit with me on the couch and said how sorry she was, and how he "was just too sweet and pure for this world." :( I had to take a break now and then and watch other stuff to try to get my mind off of it (yeah right) and have a distraction, and I took a muscle relaxer before I went to bed because my stomach was all tied up in knots. I just couldn't stop thinking of so many things: his children, his parents and siblings, everyone who had been privileged to work with him in recent months, everyone on here. It all got to me in a really bad way.

My heart is literally aching right now. I think today the reality of all of this has sunk in, and I may cry quite a bit later. I've avoided watching or listening to anything of his because I'm afraid that I'll lose it completely and never be able to stop crying.

I wrote down how I was feeling last night while all of these news reports were swirling around me, and I'm going to post it here.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I have no idea how to begin this eloquently, so I'm just going to say everything that I'm feeling right now.

It's 8:46 p.m., and about four and a half hours ago, I found out that Michael Jackson had been rushed to UCLA Medical Center, suffering from cardiac arrest, which turned into a coma, which concluded with his death. He was just 50 years old.

He was a legendary musical icon. He was a singer, dancer, choreographer, director, producer, writer, composer, artist, author, businessman, and the list goes on.

He was also a sweet, generous, kind-hearted, loving soul who treated his family, friends, and fans with the utmost sincerity and warmth. And he touched my heart in a big way. I loved his music and his dancing, but more importantly, I loved his soul.

I am experiencing all kinds of feelings right now: numbness, shock, denial, sadness, regret, and above all, devastation.

A month ago, I made a video message for Michael that was supposed to be included in a documentary about Neverland. A copy was going to be given to him. It breaks my heart that he will never see my message. However, I stand by every word of it and always will.

I am going to try to get through this as best as I can. Instead of focusing on everything that will never happen (the London shows, new music, the rest of his life and watching his children grow up), I am going to focus on everything that he did give us, and I am going to hold his music as close to my heart as possible. It may be too difficult to listen to or watch any of his performances right now, but I know that in time I will be able to do so, and I will be able to smile again.

I will always love him and miss him, and although a part of my soul has died today, I will always do my best to keep his personal and artistic ideals alive.

Good-bye Michael, I love you.
 
Thank you for posting mnj1985. I feel a lot less alone in my feelings.

A few minutes ago I was angry now I am again trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Michael is gone. I am not processing that information well. Not at all.
 
yaazgurl - I was not surprised by Larry King. I always thought he was a bit simple-minded and judgemental. But that statement was just ridiculous. Ridiculous.
 
I just spent some time in my backyard and let the sun shine all over me. Its a beautiful day in California season wise and I got to thinking off Jehovah God's infinite power to create. He created Michael and will bring him back to life so that we can touch him and feel him and enjoy him forever. I hope the little peace I found outside stays with me in the coming weeks. I have a feeling its going to get ugly. Liza Minnelli was quoting as saying that all hell is going to break out in the coming weeks as we find out what happened. I hope to keep the good memories of MJ alive until I see him again face to face in eternity.
 
I hate the date that reads 1958-2009. Someone else had 1958-Eternity in their siggy and I love it.
 
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