D.Electric
Proud Member
this is very personal note, and when i left it at the memorial with roses, I left it in a sealed envelope so that no one could read it... but i feel the need to share it here, as I have noticed there are people one here who have said they only became a fan of his music after he died. I think this is great, but I think that they need to know that Michael was so much more than a great musician, to some he was an inspiration, a teacher and a friend. He changed so many lives, and in this case, saved mine.
There is a particular story in this that is about a very hard point in my life that Michael helped me through, The only other person i have shared this with is Lisa Marie Presley, but now i wish that i could share this with all the haters out there, so that they can understand just why it is so hard for some of us to 'snap out of it' and why some of owe our lives to a wonderful friend.
THANKYOU MICHAEL... (please note i have removed some parts of the letter that are too personal)
Dear Michael.
I want to thankyou Michael, for the decades of music that inspired me to write, record and perform. Your music brought me happiness as a child, and inspired me make the music that makes me so happy as an adult. You brought me so much happiness in a world of pain michael, thankyou.
I want to say I'm sorry michael, for all the people that let you down and hurt you. You tried so hard to show the world that is was O.K to be different, but all the media did was try to prove that was NOT ok to be different. But who won huh buckethead? Look at what happened at your memorial. Millions of people across the world came together to celebrate your life and mourn together. The tabloids may have won battle after battle, my friend, but you won the war. it just saddens me it was at such a cost. It was such a beautiful ceromony my love, and you should be proud of Paris... Shes grown up to be such a beautiful princess, and brave and as strong as her father. I know she will wear her rhino skin with all these stories flying about... it doesnt matter what the papers say, and its nobodies business. You know, she knows, and I know that no matter what, you are her daddy.
I want to say Thank you michael, for so many more things. For all the love you showed me and the world, for convincing me to have 'rhinosaurous skin' when they would push me too far, for the nights I spent listening to 'that song' (i still hear the giggle when i listen to it), and for that unforgettable, comforting 'squeeze of my hand' all those years ago, youll never know how much strength it gave me.
But most of all, i want to thank you for saving my life, and I can only weep in sorrow for never getting that last chance to tell you how grateful i am.
I'll never got the chance to tell you, but now is a good a time as any to write it down.
Six months ago, i was at my worse. Ive moved to London after that horrible, horrible year. I was so ashamed of letting myself fall prey to that evil substance. I'd let everyone and myself down. Everyone told me I was destined for greatness, and my weak soul let me down. I was tired of fighting michael, i was always fighting...even back then, i was fighting or trying to escape. I just wanted it to end. Ive never been strong like you. I spent a week making arrangements, i was so determined for the first time in my life. I packed up my apartment so no one else had to deal with it, i wrote funeral plan and letters to loved ones, even one to you... I dimmed the lights, prepared my pills...and put some music on. Music is my life, and i wanted to hear my favourite songs one last time... the fourth and last song was one of yours michael. Stranger in Moscow, how i love that song. At this point I was the calmest Id been in my life, knowing that in a few minutes, id be at peace, this wasnt a cry for help. Id never felt so calm as i did in that week leading up to it and planning it. But as that song went on, I broke down- 'swift and sudden fall from grace, happy days seem far away' I couldnt believe what i was doing... I'd sure had it hard most of my life, but look at you...You fought michael, and you did so much good. I was always so proud that you got back up, just like youve always said we should do and I suddenly realised i couldnt do it... and i had been so determined, it was never a cry for help, to this day I havent told a soul about that night. As far as anyone knows, the doctors worked their magic and Ive turned my life around...but what they dont know, is that it wasnt rehab...it was you. your song, your strength, your inspiration, your comfort still lingering from ten years ago. Oh michael, how i wish I could have had more time to tell you, but there was never a moment I wasnt thankful in my heart.
In thanks and in memory I will carry on your work, michael, I promise. Every year I will go and help the children in Uganda, until I can move out there and do it forever. Im already working on the childrens foundation and Im writing music again... better than ever before, each melody and word that I write, I hope that you would have loved it, its all for you.
thankyou for your love Michael...but this time, let Me say it.... I love YOU more. xxx
There is a particular story in this that is about a very hard point in my life that Michael helped me through, The only other person i have shared this with is Lisa Marie Presley, but now i wish that i could share this with all the haters out there, so that they can understand just why it is so hard for some of us to 'snap out of it' and why some of owe our lives to a wonderful friend.
THANKYOU MICHAEL... (please note i have removed some parts of the letter that are too personal)
Dear Michael.
I want to thankyou Michael, for the decades of music that inspired me to write, record and perform. Your music brought me happiness as a child, and inspired me make the music that makes me so happy as an adult. You brought me so much happiness in a world of pain michael, thankyou.
I want to say I'm sorry michael, for all the people that let you down and hurt you. You tried so hard to show the world that is was O.K to be different, but all the media did was try to prove that was NOT ok to be different. But who won huh buckethead? Look at what happened at your memorial. Millions of people across the world came together to celebrate your life and mourn together. The tabloids may have won battle after battle, my friend, but you won the war. it just saddens me it was at such a cost. It was such a beautiful ceromony my love, and you should be proud of Paris... Shes grown up to be such a beautiful princess, and brave and as strong as her father. I know she will wear her rhino skin with all these stories flying about... it doesnt matter what the papers say, and its nobodies business. You know, she knows, and I know that no matter what, you are her daddy.
I want to say Thank you michael, for so many more things. For all the love you showed me and the world, for convincing me to have 'rhinosaurous skin' when they would push me too far, for the nights I spent listening to 'that song' (i still hear the giggle when i listen to it), and for that unforgettable, comforting 'squeeze of my hand' all those years ago, youll never know how much strength it gave me.
But most of all, i want to thank you for saving my life, and I can only weep in sorrow for never getting that last chance to tell you how grateful i am.
I'll never got the chance to tell you, but now is a good a time as any to write it down.
Six months ago, i was at my worse. Ive moved to London after that horrible, horrible year. I was so ashamed of letting myself fall prey to that evil substance. I'd let everyone and myself down. Everyone told me I was destined for greatness, and my weak soul let me down. I was tired of fighting michael, i was always fighting...even back then, i was fighting or trying to escape. I just wanted it to end. Ive never been strong like you. I spent a week making arrangements, i was so determined for the first time in my life. I packed up my apartment so no one else had to deal with it, i wrote funeral plan and letters to loved ones, even one to you... I dimmed the lights, prepared my pills...and put some music on. Music is my life, and i wanted to hear my favourite songs one last time... the fourth and last song was one of yours michael. Stranger in Moscow, how i love that song. At this point I was the calmest Id been in my life, knowing that in a few minutes, id be at peace, this wasnt a cry for help. Id never felt so calm as i did in that week leading up to it and planning it. But as that song went on, I broke down- 'swift and sudden fall from grace, happy days seem far away' I couldnt believe what i was doing... I'd sure had it hard most of my life, but look at you...You fought michael, and you did so much good. I was always so proud that you got back up, just like youve always said we should do and I suddenly realised i couldnt do it... and i had been so determined, it was never a cry for help, to this day I havent told a soul about that night. As far as anyone knows, the doctors worked their magic and Ive turned my life around...but what they dont know, is that it wasnt rehab...it was you. your song, your strength, your inspiration, your comfort still lingering from ten years ago. Oh michael, how i wish I could have had more time to tell you, but there was never a moment I wasnt thankful in my heart.
In thanks and in memory I will carry on your work, michael, I promise. Every year I will go and help the children in Uganda, until I can move out there and do it forever. Im already working on the childrens foundation and Im writing music again... better than ever before, each melody and word that I write, I hope that you would have loved it, its all for you.
thankyou for your love Michael...but this time, let Me say it.... I love YOU more. xxx
x
