blujein
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- Joined
- Jul 25, 2011
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I hope this is an okay place to put this, but I just found something that I wrote five days after Michael passed. I don't know why, really, but I'd like to share it. I hope that's okay...
It’s an amazingly painful thing to feel such a desperate sadness over the death of someone I’ve never met. I feel stupid for feeling as paralysed with grief as I do, and yet I feel guilty for not being more distraught about the loss of someone who I call my idol and complete inspiration.
I became a fan of Michael Jackson’s in 2001, just prior to the release of his brilliant “Invincible” album. Before I found Michael, I had absolutely no interest in music. I don’t believe I even owned a CD at the time – I didn’t know any artists and didn’t care to. That is until I saw Michael’s 30th anniversary show from Madison Square Garden in New York televised. The next day I had his entire back-catalogue and as many videos, DVD’s and downloads as I could possibly find. Strangely, for someone who had no interest in music, I knew every song he performed on that show and even found myself knowing the words. That goes to show how integral Michael has been in our culture for so long.
Like most people, I’ve experienced some really hard times over the last years. Times that at their worst I never thought I’d come out the other side of. As silly as it may seem to some people, music is what saved me and what built me to be stronger. Not any music, though...Michael Jackson’s music. The only music I’ve ever heard that has the capacity to completely change my mood from one extreme to the other. That’s an amazing sensation to experience, and I think that any other fan of Michael’s work would tell you the same thing.
It wasn’t always just the music that led me to recover my thoughts and move from depression to happiness. It was the knowledge that sometimes strength and wonderment comes from the most unexpected of places. Over the last few years, Michael was hounded and portrayed by the media to be a weak and somewhat unstable man. Perhaps even a criminal. What I always thought, though, was that for someone who was generally perceived to be weak, he endured things that most people could never survive through. As for being unstable, there’s no doubt that he was weighed down by the enormity of his own genius, but every genius is eccentric – a look through history will show you that. With that in mind, I always knew that if Michael could pick himself up, dust himself off and continue to do his work and to inspire hundreds of millions of people, I could get over whatever seemingly petty trouble I was going through.
Michael was always more than his music and his showmanship. He was a businessman, a humanitarian, a giver, a natural marvel of talent and, most importantly, he was a good man. It’s such a travesty that the world is only remembering this in his death.
With the death of the King of Pop, I personally feel like a very large part of my strength died with him. The one piece of comfort I take away from this is that Michael was so much more than his physical presence. His legacy will live forever, and I have absolutely no doubt that that he is in a much, much better place now.
The world loves Michael Jackson – this is obvious once again now. The world loves him, but nowhere near as much as the people who grew to rely on his message and his inspiration.
I miss him.
On a side-note, I just want to thank the people here who are always so positive and wonderful towards each other. Some of us struggle, some of us argue, some of us cry - but we're all here for the same reason. The people who kept on smiling, even if it was only skin-deep - thank you.
It’s an amazingly painful thing to feel such a desperate sadness over the death of someone I’ve never met. I feel stupid for feeling as paralysed with grief as I do, and yet I feel guilty for not being more distraught about the loss of someone who I call my idol and complete inspiration.
I became a fan of Michael Jackson’s in 2001, just prior to the release of his brilliant “Invincible” album. Before I found Michael, I had absolutely no interest in music. I don’t believe I even owned a CD at the time – I didn’t know any artists and didn’t care to. That is until I saw Michael’s 30th anniversary show from Madison Square Garden in New York televised. The next day I had his entire back-catalogue and as many videos, DVD’s and downloads as I could possibly find. Strangely, for someone who had no interest in music, I knew every song he performed on that show and even found myself knowing the words. That goes to show how integral Michael has been in our culture for so long.
Like most people, I’ve experienced some really hard times over the last years. Times that at their worst I never thought I’d come out the other side of. As silly as it may seem to some people, music is what saved me and what built me to be stronger. Not any music, though...Michael Jackson’s music. The only music I’ve ever heard that has the capacity to completely change my mood from one extreme to the other. That’s an amazing sensation to experience, and I think that any other fan of Michael’s work would tell you the same thing.
It wasn’t always just the music that led me to recover my thoughts and move from depression to happiness. It was the knowledge that sometimes strength and wonderment comes from the most unexpected of places. Over the last few years, Michael was hounded and portrayed by the media to be a weak and somewhat unstable man. Perhaps even a criminal. What I always thought, though, was that for someone who was generally perceived to be weak, he endured things that most people could never survive through. As for being unstable, there’s no doubt that he was weighed down by the enormity of his own genius, but every genius is eccentric – a look through history will show you that. With that in mind, I always knew that if Michael could pick himself up, dust himself off and continue to do his work and to inspire hundreds of millions of people, I could get over whatever seemingly petty trouble I was going through.
Michael was always more than his music and his showmanship. He was a businessman, a humanitarian, a giver, a natural marvel of talent and, most importantly, he was a good man. It’s such a travesty that the world is only remembering this in his death.
With the death of the King of Pop, I personally feel like a very large part of my strength died with him. The one piece of comfort I take away from this is that Michael was so much more than his physical presence. His legacy will live forever, and I have absolutely no doubt that that he is in a much, much better place now.
The world loves Michael Jackson – this is obvious once again now. The world loves him, but nowhere near as much as the people who grew to rely on his message and his inspiration.
I miss him.
On a side-note, I just want to thank the people here who are always so positive and wonderful towards each other. Some of us struggle, some of us argue, some of us cry - but we're all here for the same reason. The people who kept on smiling, even if it was only skin-deep - thank you.
