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sensitivity and losing my temper: Do i have a problem?

J5master

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so i have a summer job tutoring students about a year or so younger or the same age as me. I am tutor partners with a guy who have been actually teaching for a few years now...my only expertise in this job is doing one on one tutoring with the writing center on campus...never had any teaching experience.

This is our 5th week, we've gone this long without any problems. But today there was ONE kid who was disrupting the class...and he was rambling on about how i should get fired and what not...and i warned him repeatedly to get to work. so i got pretty pissed, he started throwing rubberbands and stuff at people...so i got reeeally pissed and i cussed a couple of times (we aren't supposed to). There was a counseler in the back who was sitting on the computer doing NOTHING to help me. so yes, i cussed, and i threatened to write him up...he was still uncooperative...so i went and got my tutoring partner for advice. He said to me "u can't control the class??" And went in there and sat and talked with him.

I feel HORRIBLE...cuz i feel i was just too sensitive. And yes I admit I am a sensitive person, but simply put, I felt i could DO this job. But i was unprofessional....i feel so bad. I can't believe i let this guy get to me.

tomorrow i have to deal with the same class. What should i do? should i apologize? should i act like nothing happened? should i confront the counselor for sitting on her ass? I feel soooooo bad right now. :no:
 
Aw, poor J5 :(

There's always one trouble maker. :doh:

I only teach one on one, so I have no idea what dealing with large numbers of children is like. That said, I've had my share of problem students. :smilerolleyes: I don't believe you were too sensitive; kids know exactly how to push adults' buttons. :D

Hmm, what to do tomorrow ... do you mean apologize to the kid? I would say no. The kid knows he was provoking you; I don't think apologizing would serve any purpose. And confronting the counselor might not help either, although you could ask politely for some suggestions on how to deal with the child; that would show that you want to learn and improve teaching-wise.

It's hard not to let things they say get to you. You have to build rhino skin like MJ. :D

I don't suppose you could send him to see the principal or something?

Was it a bad cuss?
 
no this is college lol. Like these kids arent really kids, they're like 18, 19, and 20. like my age lol. And forgot exactly what i said but i know i said shit lol. And there aren't any principals lol
 
Oh, ok. lol

Yeah, that must be rough. But that doesn't change what I said above.

I really wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure all teachers have had problems like this.

Shit isn't that bad. lol
 
soooo just pretend like nothing happened?

I dunno why i feel i should apologize...I feel like I was out of line and it's my JOB NOT to be out of line, ya know?

*listening to mj to feel better lol*
 
Well, I hesitate to give advice; I don't have proper training in controlling classroom behaviour. But from what I've heard, no textbook can really prepare a person for every situation in the classroom.

They are the students, you are their leader. You don't need to explain yourself to them. You're not there to be their friend.

Your partner sounds annoying. lol 'you can't control the class?' Bleh. I mean, if you had no experience, that wouldn't be surprising. Don't worry; you'll pick up experience.

But if I were you, I would seek the advice of peeps that have experience with this kind of thing anyway.
 
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yeah true. Luckly there's only 1 and a half more weeks of this. I figure that teaching is NOT for me. I was sooo fine for a majority of this program...I knew it was too perfect for too long. LOL

Thanks for the advice anyway.

Yeah my partner is annoying in subtle ways. LOL.
 
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Not true. I bet you'd make a great teacher! Seriously. I've had moments where I thought 'what the hell am I doing?' They pass. lol I've been teaching for like 15 years now. lol Of course that's one on one.

If you enjoyed most of it, that means something.

Also, there are different age groups...

Were these peeps there because they wanted to be, or were required to be?
 
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yeah they "want" to be...cuz it's their chance to make it into college. It's a transition program for people that have potential to be college students but don't quite cut it with the test scores.

But some of them seriously don't act like it. And the guy giving me trouble has a full ride anyway on a football scholarship.

It's difficult. I'll probably feel better about it tomorrow. At least i hope i do. i just keep kicking myself for not handling it better. I'm supposed to be oh-so-mature and composed. That's why they hired me apparently. geez.

1 1/2 more weeks...that's all i have to get through. Gotta keep tellin myself that lol
 
I bet all teachers have lost it at one point in their careers. With some student who for reasons unknown is being an arse. lol Parents too. lol

The guy is getting what he wanted; he made you lose your cool. Don't let him. Just keep telling yourself 'I don't care' to whatever he says.
 
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yep i realize that. Gotta keep listening to Unbreakable and drill it in my head for tomorrow lol
 
Perfect. lol

Remember, no matter what he says, he's only doing it to bother you. On purpose. Let him say whatever trash he wants. You know it's not true. It's just to bug you. And it's still bugging you. lol Forget about it.
 
No it's not HIM that's bugging me, it's ME and the fact that I didn't handle it better...that's what's bothering me. Not the student. I wish i could like rewind time and kept my cool.
 
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LOL

welcome to my world :rofl:


Just ask them to leave. Either they are there to learn or they're not.

There is nothing wrong with showing a little emotion, heck I outright yell at my students when they all act like bananas.

You have to make them aware that you're giving them your time so that they can learn. Earning respect is hard especially when they're around your age.


I would reccommend either asking them to step outside, or give the class so quick activity to do that keeps them busy and then going over and asking that person, why they are behaving the way they are.
Let them know that they are out of line and how you feel about their behaviour. Then ask them if there is something in particular that they would like help with. Usually people start clowning around or mucking up when they are having trouble with the work set in front of them.
 
You said he said you should get fired. He was bugging you on purpose.
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i get that. But at this point in time, the reason why I'm still mulling over it, is not about him. It's the fact that I let him get to me and they i crossed the line...that's all. But what's done is done and i can't really change that. so i gotta carry on tomorrow like a new day and hopefully things will go better.


LJ yes I know i should've took him outside and I tried helping him but he refused to get his work out. Thats what caused the trouble. I couldn't even get him to take the work out of his book bag.
 
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LOL as for showing emotion or yelling /cussing etc, don't worry about it. We all have moments. It's harder when you haven't had training too.

another thing I reccommend is when you go into the room at the start tomorrow the first thing you should lay out are your rules and expectations of them. This is your right as the tutor.
So tell them what your expectations are

Mine are:

- I expect that when I am speaking, no one else is speaking
- I expect mutual respect to be shown for everyone within this classroom, respect for me, and respect for each other. I always treat everyone the way I wish to be treated.
- I expect you to be prepared for class and on time.

also:

- The whistle means that you stop what you are doing and listen to me.
 
yes that's a good idea, although it's a little late for it now that it's about the end of the program. But i will make it known at least what i expect from now until the end of next week what should be done. that's a good idea.
 
J5master said:
LJ yes I know i should've took him outside and I tried helping him but he refused to get his work out. Thats what caused the trouble. I couldn't even get him to take the work out of his book bag.
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next time just tell him that it's fine if he doesn't want to get his books out but he is NOT to interrupt anyone else's learning experience.

Maybe Suggest to him to leave :lol:



And don't worry about your "losing it" everyone has those days, some kids are punks and you just gotta learn what works for them and you :lol:


Take today for example. I have a class of all girls who are 14-15 years old. a third of the class is made up of those girls who HATE PE, and HATE school and HATE their teacher (that would be me :lol: ) and they LOVE to gossip. So whilst I was explaining fitness components to the class (which most seemed really interested in) these girls continued to be rude and carry on. So I gave them a warning that I'm not in the mood for their rudeness, and that one warning is good enough. When I went back to discussing the topic they turned their back to me and started gossiping again so I called to the most popular one of the group (who also gives me the biggest freaking HEADACHES! :lol: ) and simply told her to stand outside (it's freezing out too LOL).
The whole class was fine after that.

Just remember if you make a threat like that you're going to fail them on today's topic, or kick them out if they do it once more.... then you need to follow through with that action. If you just keep saying "I'm going to .. going to" they soon realise that you're only bluffing.

I always give one warning then it's bam detention. They hate me, but they respect me cause they know I'll do what I say LOL
 
J5master said:
yes that's a good idea, although it's a little late for it now that it's about the end of the program. But i will make it known at least what i expect from now until the end of next week what should be done. that's a good idea.
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It's never too late hun, the smart ones will know it's in response to bad behaviour.

Make them feel guilty, "well I didn't want to have to say this, and I most certainly thought that I would never have to bring this up with you guys.... however I think you need to know what my expectations are of you all..."


I repeat it over and over for the first couple of weeks when teaching a new class LOL they know it's coming but at the sametime they get a good solid understanding of what I expect of them and I do this with all my students irregardless of their age :p (the 17-18 year olds hate it LOL but they nod their heads and agree that I'm right lol)
 
yep yep. so easily said than done though....it's such a 'durrr' moment...yeah just kick them out of the class, but at the moment, i just had it.

Thanks for the advice tho. I gotta move on cuz tomorrow it's gonna be a new day...gotta keep on keepin on. I think i'm done beating myself up over it, gotta correct the situation now.
 
ahahaha :rofl: yeah cause I'm just an all round bitch :(


but seriously though J5 don't beat yourself up :) it's a hard thing to do, especially when they're around your own age. Every teacher I know tells me it takes YEARS to develop classroom control. I'm still a graduate and I have a lot of days where kids just stand there and argue with me and then I walk away thinking... "why the hell was I arguing with them I should have just sat them down and told them to do what they're told" :lol:


The suckiest thing was that you got no support from your colleagues. I had that experience all through my training and it made me think about finding a new career path. I only bothered to apply for a teaching position because my lecturer just wouldn't let me quit lol he saw something in me that I probably still can't see in me, but the school I'm at now are amazing and support me so much. It's hard at the start but if you are thinking of teaching maybe try a different age group and check out the support system that should be in place for you :)
 
thanks for the advice everyone. It is VERY hard. Really, I'm not really purposely trying to be a teacher really. I'm working on an English degree that i dunno what i'm gonna do with. I'm tutoring for work experience...and it's leading me in that teaching direction. so i dunno.

yep tomorrow is a new day, it'll be better.
 
J5 don't worry to much and don't be so strict with yourself.

I've done much worse than you I think, cuz when I was a tutor I had a troublemaker in class also... he was so annoying, like picking on me. Well I asked him if it feels nice to behave like such an as***** and what his motive is... if it's just attention seeking or if he can't stand class... if it's some sick kind of power trip... well I asked him to explain to the class and me what it is right now cuz this would be the last time he'd get that attention. If he couldn't change his behavior I'd send him out of class if needed in reporting him to the authorities.
I mean as a tutor I understood my task to be there for those who want to learn about the subject not to discuss such stupid behavior.

lol He even had the guts to report me to the authorities and I had to explain to my prof there if I really called that guy an as***** in class.
I said I did cuz I'm used to call someone at times like they present themselves and well I'm only a tutor and no way a teacher... and this way I've felt like a fellow student I should tell him to give him the chance to recognize.
Honestly I was scared to death when I had to explain my professor but then again my prof said: "You did the best thing. I'm convinced! Go back to class, those students need you."


J5 I don't have a solution for 'your troublemaker' and no real advice for you what to do best... but mainly it's best to behave as you feel.
I know from this board you're not a bad person. Whatever will come out there, it can't be too bad. Just try to be authentic and yourself.
That guy is behaving idiotic, not you.
You've done nothing wrong yet. Just yes you need to do something about it cuz yeah don't let him overtake controll of the situation. You don't have to fear a troublemaker.
As you said you're a tutor, not a teacher... and at the end of the day a tutor as much as a teacher are only human.
Don't be too strict to yourself. Nobody is perfect!
 
tomorrow i have to deal with the same class. What should i do? should i apologize? should i act like nothing happened? should i confront the counselor for sitting on her ass? I feel soooooo bad right now
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Wow, I couldn't do what you are doing because I have no tolerance for people who are disrespectful. All power to you. I think that you should apologized for going off and confront the counselor for not helping you but in a professional way and in person, privately. I understand if you really feel bad about what you did but you were pushed. It happens. Next time, try to do it differently. If the student disrupts you again, just tell them to stop. If that student doesn't stop, then let your tutoring partner know about it.
 
Dear JMaster,
Since these are college students, and each student is PAYING to be taught, If this student is disrupting the class, being inconsiderate towards the others, he needs to be told that if he wants to waste his money thats fine then but the other students are there to learn...and you will NOT tolerate a disrespectful student, you know where the door is...don't let it hit you in the a**

Knowledge is Growth~~~"Education Is The Key"
 
class today wasn't so bad. It was as if nothing happened. Its all good folks, thanks a lot.

I did end up apologizing but letting him know that Im there to keep him on task and help him do his work. If he doesn't want to do his work, then get out of the class room, don't disrupt other people. He was like 'ok' and that was that.
 
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