QUILTBAG Fandom DISCLAIMER 18+ Discussion

[FullLipsDotNose]

Following another discussion on this forum, I decided to start a thread that would focus on QUILTBAG (questioning, undecided, intersexual, lesbian, trans*, bisexual, asexual, gay) fans. I'd like to make it explicit that a person of any gender (or none) and sexuality is more than welcome to take part in the discussion, but everyone please be respectful towards each other.

Possible things to discuss:

1) What are you?
2) What does it mean for you to be an MJ's QUILTBAG fan?
3) When did you realise you were QUILTBAG? Were you a fan back then? How did it affect you?

for non-QUILTBAG people:
Do you know any QUILTBAG fans? Is there something you would like to ask them?

I'll start with myself:

1) I'm a pansexual (attracted to all sexes and genders) ciswoman (assigned female sex at birth, still identify with it) although I tend to think of myself in terms of gender neutrality. Nonetheless, I'm still viewed as a woman and I use "she" pronouns for myself, so I still see myself as a cisperson.

2) It means a lot to me. Michael has been a very loving and caring person in various aspects. I know these issues were not discussed by him as often as others (children, environment, racism), but his music gives me strength in general.

3) It was a process. I realised I was attracted to women before I hit teenage years, but I wasn't Michael's fan back then. Only a few years later, I learnt the words to describe who I am. After years of learning and self-discovery, I finally declared myself a pansexual person.

I don't think it affected my relationship towards MJ. After all, I knew who I was before I started listening to him. On the other hand, he helped me to accept myself, in various ways. And I don't think I have come out to all the fans I've met in my life.

 

[sweet princess]

Re: Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Trans*, Etc. Fandom

I am bisexual. I began questioning my sexuality when I was 12. I had an attempted rape done by a cousin(on my mom's side of the family) who was a year younger then me (I was 9 years old) the attempted raped was planned by an older cousin (also on mom's side of the family)

Because of this incident I now and will forever have body image issues..I thought that I was going to become a lesbian, but now I have a loving husband to be that loves me and does not judge me, to which I am very grateful

 

[FullLipsDotNose]

Re: Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Trans*, Etc. Fandom

I am bisexual. I began questioning my sexuality when I was 12. I had an attempted rape done by a cousin(on my mom's side of the family) who was a year younger then me (I was 9 years old) the attempted raped was planned by an older cousin (also on mom's side of the family)

Because of this incident I now and will forever have body image issues..I thought that I was going to become a lesbian, but now I have a loving husband to be that loves me and does not judge me, to which I am very grateful

I'm so happy that things went well in the end!

I had similar issues recently... I didn't want to date men because I had very bad experiences with sexual assaults and thought it would be better to avoid them completely, just for the sake of my personal security. I recovered and regained trust in humanity though.

 

[sweet princess]

Re: Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Trans*, Etc. Fandom

I'm so happy that things went well in the end!

I had similar issues recently... I didn't want to date men because I had very bad experiences with sexual assaults and thought it would be better to avoid them completely, just for the sake of my personal security. I recovered and regained trust in humanity though.

Thank you for your kindness

 

[Psychoniff]

Re: Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Trans*, Etc. Fandom

I'm a trans-attracted male. I was sexually molested by my younger brother.

 

[mjprince1976]

Re: Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Trans*, Etc. Fandom

1. I am gay :girl_pride: and have been living as a gay man since I was 21, I knew when I was 14.

2. I don't see it as being any different to being a straight MJ fan. MJ generally loved all people and his fans. Despite the fact he may have been religious and JW at least until the late 1980s, he never showed homophobia or disrespect towards QUILTBAG fans, unlike another artist I like. I feel my music preferences have nothing to do with sexuality and feel I am just me. :girl_pride:

3. As I said I knew I was gay at 14 and I knew that I was not really attracted to conventional types. I am a chubby chaser (Sexually attracted towards overweight/obese men - To give you some idea I think Jason Pfeiffer type guys are cute) and also a Bear (Masculine acting, overweight gay man who likes beards and bears). I live with a man 35 years older than myself and we have been together 9 years. He is not a sugar daddy and I am not a Toy boy, we have a normal and non messed up relationship, we truly love each other.
Both of us came from sane upper working class upbringings and did not experience rape or any other form of sexual or physical abuse in our upbringing, but I had an absent father and a emotionally distant stepfather who rejected me when I came out. my mother was great but clingy and quite strict. I am who I am I guess, I am happy but wish to be a few pounds lighter.
My partner and I are also straight acting and not very sexually active (No anal or anything weird) and I probably come closer to asexual than gay.

Hope this info helps:girl_pride:

And yes I was rocking MJ when I was 14 and when I was 21, I am sure that year besides coming out, I was getting into Blood on the Dancefloor and Ghosts (I have always had an interest in the paranormal - I am a gay bear goth basically)

 

[FullLipsDotNose]

Re: Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Trans*, Etc. Fandom

1. I am gay :girl_pride: and have been living as a gay man since I was 21, I knew when I was 14.

2. I don't see it as being any different to being a straight MJ fan. MJ generally loved all people and his fans. Despite the fact he may have been religious and JW at least until the late 1980s, he never showed homophobia or disrespect towards QUILTBAG fans, unlike another artist I like. I feel my music preferences have nothing to do with sexuality and feel I am just me. :girl_pride:

3. As I said I knew I was gay at 14 and I knew that I was not really attracted to conventional types. I am a chubby chaser (Sexually attracted towards overweight/obese men - To give you some idea I think Jason Pfeiffer type guys are cute) and also a Bear (Masculine acting, overweight gay man who likes beards and bears). I live with a man 35 years older than myself and we have been together 9 years. He is not a sugar daddy and I am not a Toy boy, we have a normal and non messed up relationship, we truly live each other.
Both of us came from sane upper working class upbringings and did note xperience rape or any other form of sexual or physical abuse in our upbringing, but I had an absent father and a emotionally distant stepfather who rejected me when I came out. my mother was great but clingy and quite strict. I am who I am I guess, I am happy but wish to be a few pounds lighter.
My partner and I are also straight acting and not very sexually active (No anal or anything weird) and I probably come closer to asexual than gay.

Hope this info helps:girl_pride:

And yes I was rocking MJ when I was 14 and when I was 21, I am sure that year besides coming out, I was getting into Blood on the Dancefloor and Ghosts (I have always had an interest in the paranormal - I am a gay bear goth basically)

Well, just because the way you have sex is unconventional, it doesn't necessarily mean you're asexual IMO. I've been through the stage when I was wondering if I was asexual because I didn't like penetrative sex - but I concluded I wasn't because I was sexually attracted to people.

There's this idea in the society that if you don't have penetrative sex, you don't have sex at all. Half of my ex lovers were like this - one of them explicitly said that oral sex isn't sex I used to think there was something wrong with me, but then I found out I wasn't the only one in the whole world and that it's OK to not feel excited if someone pushes something into my body and then sticks it out.

 

[mjprince1976]

Re: Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Trans*, Etc. Fandom

WARNING THIS POST DISCUSSES ITEMS OF A BROAD MINDED ADULT MATTER: Do not read if under age or squeamish or a Donald Trump Supporter.

I agree, the gay community is notorious for its promotion that penentrative sex only counts as sex, frottage, feel up, wanking, sucking don't count and are only 4play. It is aggressivley promoted usually with chiselled masculine studs with massive organs and men with hungry asses wanting to receive monster dongs. Not only do I believe this is garbage, but it is unrealistic, a survey a few years ago showed only 39% of gay men had anal sex regularly and 18% had never tried it.

Then again the same nonsense is promoted in the straighht world, flawless sexual performances, gonzo porn, guys who look like chiselld adonis with a massive organ and very sexy large breasted women willing to take it. Porn is destructive. And plus you hear how men Straight and Gay both talk about sex, like it is some conquest and position of male dominance in being a "Top" and the sissiness of being a "bottom" or a woman.

The chub/bear community is different, love is more important and many men in this community see no negative stigma on being the bottom or submissive partner. Versatile is a more common term now. But the porno industry and all the gay mags and subculture still promote power tops and monster dicked studs.

 

[Daryll748]

as this is quite 18+ talk here. I'll have to put a disclaimer in the title for it. h34r:

So, this is just a 'gentle' Mod note here.

It's a 'borderline' discussion but as long as its 'respectful' and don't turn into a 'bashing' thread, it remains 'open' to discuss.

My :2centsn the topic

1) What are you?

1) I'm not one for 'labels'. They are just used to 'box' you in in this 'narrow minded' society where as you 'need' to have a husband and kids at a certain age and if you decide to 'live off the wall' you're considered 'wierd' lol

So, I stick with the term "I'm a Soul that experience a Human life " or if you really need a 'label' h34r:
I'm a "Tomboy" :yes: and as far as I know I'm 'straight' though.


Definitions of tomboy


noun
a girl who enjoys rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys.





I feel like my 'soul' is a boy though my 'human presence' is a girl :blush:

 

[FullLipsDotNose]

as this is quite 18+ talk here. I'll have to put a disclaimer in the title for it. h34r:

So, this is just a 'gentle' Mod note here.

It's a 'borderline' discussion but as long as its 'respectful' and don't turn into a 'bashing' thread, it remains 'open' to discuss.

My :2centsn the topic



1) I'm not one for 'labels'. They are just used to 'box' you in in this 'narrow minded' society where as you 'need' to have a husband and kids at a certain age and if you decide to 'live off the wall' you're considered 'wierd' lol

So, I stick with the term "I'm a Soul that experience a Human life " or if you really need a 'label' h34r:
I'm a "Tomboy" :yes: and as far as I know I'm 'straight' though.


Definitions of tomboy


noun
a girl who enjoys rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys.





I feel like my 'soul' is a boy though my 'human presence' is a girl :blush:

High five for tomboys!! Michael actually wrote a song about us It seems to be unfinished though

 

[Daryll748]

High five for tomboys!! Michael actually wrote a song about us It seems to be unfinished though

Yeah, would love to hear it though and High 5 back to you! :clap:

I would have loved that he broke through that barrier too as even the term 'Tomboy' is NOT understood in this *sigh* society. The 'pretty' names I used to hear flying around my ears, Oh Boy!

Seems the general public only know two genders 'Straight' or 'gay' lol :blink: and so 'Tomboys' are 'shoved' into the 'gay departement' though my Tomboyness doesn't posses a sexual 'deviation' if I can say it like this. No offense meant here though :blush:

It's exactly the very first time, I can 'openly' talk about it as you know the 'namecalling' usually just 'shuts you down' and so end of convo which leaves you with 'no voice' to exactly 'reveal' what it means to be a Tomboy lol

 

[FullLipsDotNose]

On Saturday, I realised I'm demisexual. It's something between asexual and fullisexual (don't know a specialist term for it lol). And that also everything is much more complicated that I thought!!

For example, there are four types of attraction. I'll list them here:

sexual attraction - This means you want to have sex with this person. I've felt this occasionally. As I stated above, I'm not a fan of penetration, so there is little for me to do sex-wise.
romantic attraction - I have had this several times in my life and I'd say this is what I understand to be falling in love.
sensual attraction - I have also had this several times in my life and it's tied to romantic attraction. However, there are instances when I'm able to feel sensual attraction, but not the romantic one, for example, if I'm physically attracted to a woman. This basically means you want to hold hands, kiss, cuddle and so on.
aesthetic attraction - This means you like someone's appearance, but you don't want to do anything with that person. It doesn't mean you're attracted this way to your friend when you tell them, "This jumper suits you!" though. You feel attracted to them instead and enjoy watching them. I've also eperienced this in my life with a couple of people, for example: Zoe Kravitz, Tessa Thompson, Jason Momoa, etc.

I cannot fall in love with someone unless I know their personality, behaviour, etc. So my love for Michael developed after some time, it wasn't love at first sight. At best, people can be aesthetically appealing to me, but I don't feel attracted to them in any other way unless I get to know them better. This is the reason why I don't find porn attractive.