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Gisselle

Gisselle

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My question is.:
well lets start off with me stating that I am ready/not ready for a relationship.

Well I began to have feelings for this guy, and the same with him. we are friends for now, and have been for a while. Now I care about him, and he says he cares about me too. we both know that we like each other very much. Well tonight we were talking about relationships etc. and he told me that he definitely wants to be in a relationship with me, that he knows the type of guy I am looking for, and he is wanting to be that guy for me. But that he also knows that right now at this point of his life he is not that guy, and wants to become that guy very soon. he says that he sees me as a potential spouse. That he will wait for me, until he knows for sure he is the guy for me.

Now I myself have kinda commitment issues due to be cheated on, and being hurt so much. He knows this, and he said he is willing to also wait till I am ready.

How can I learn to trust again, and to not be afraid? I really do like this guy, and I hope he is being honest. Does it sound like he is being honest?
 
Urmmm, yeah it does, i mean he is willing to wait for you and he obviously enjoys your company, i would say go for it, as he seems to really care for you deeply.
 
And about your trust issue, do you hide anything from him? If not that should tell you that you trust him whole heartedly, at least according to my POV.
 
Gisselle said:
My question is.:
well lets start off with me stating that I am ready/not ready for a relationship.

Well I began to have feelings for this guy, and the same with him. we are friends for now, and have been for a while. Now I care about him, and he says he cares about me too. we both know that we like each other very much. Well tonight we were talking about relationships etc. and he told me that he definitely wants to be in a relationship with me, that he knows the type of guy I am looking for, and he is wanting to be that guy for me. But that he also knows that right now at this point of his life he is not that guy, and wants to become that guy very soon. he says that he sees me as a potential spouse. That he will wait for me, until he knows for sure he is the guy for me.

Now I myself have kinda commitment issues due to be cheated on, and being hurt so much. He knows this, and he said he is willing to also wait till I am ready.

How can I learn to trust again, and to not be afraid? I really do like this guy, and I hope he is being honest. Does it sound like he is being honest?
Click to expand...

Gisselle, I know how hard it is to open your heart up after you've been hurt.. You need to take notice of the subtle things this man is doing. Does he listen to you? I mean REALLY listen? Is he there for you to talk to? Are you there for him? Think about this. If you were involved in a car accident, and were hospitalized, will he be there for you, visiting you and holding your hand? If HE were in the accident, would you be there for him? It's tough, but please. Don't close your heart to true love if it is there for you.

You also need to seriously reassess yourself and what you want. Maybe what you want is realistic, but maybe it's unrealistic?
 
My reccommendation is to enjoy the friendship that you both have and to spend a good amount of time with him. You'll soon discover for yourself whether he is trustworthy or not in his actions towards you in normal everyday things. Like Linda has said *points to post above me* watch and observe how he responds to you, does he listen to what you have to say?
Most importantly take your time. If he says he'll wait for you then accept that as a gift and just enjoy each other's company as friends for now :flowers:
 
Gisselle said:
My question is.:
well lets start off with me stating that I am ready/not ready for a relationship.

Well I began to have feelings for this guy, and the same with him. we are friends for now, and have been for a while. Now I care about him, and he says he cares about me too. we both know that we like each other very much. Well tonight we were talking about relationships etc. and he told me that he definitely wants to be in a relationship with me, that he knows the type of guy I am looking for, and he is wanting to be that guy for me. But that he also knows that right now at this point of his life he is not that guy, and wants to become that guy very soon. he says that he sees me as a potential spouse. That he will wait for me, until he knows for sure he is the guy for me.

Now I myself have kinda commitment issues due to be cheated on, and being hurt so much. He knows this, and he said he is willing to also wait till I am ready.

How can I learn to trust again, and to not be afraid? I really do like this guy, and I hope he is being honest. Does it sound like he is being honest?
Click to expand...

Take your time... trust is something to grow with time... if he's the guy for you or not that will be answered by time going by also.

I'm not sure about this he's knowing right now he's not the right guy for you but very soon he will be... but probably that's a money and/or I'll be able to care for you issue.
Well that's my advice for you... I've never needed a guy in my life for that. I always had my own job and enough money. Independency money wise is something to value high and never hurted my relationships.
 
Well I do trust him, and yes I do tell him everything, I just think I am afraid that things wont work out, I guess I m just nervous that it might not work out, or one of us screws it up. I don't know. but as most of you say if it feels right then do it. And I will, I will just take it slowly, and not speed everything up.
 
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