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Roxanne

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do u get along with ur parents ? what kind of relations do u have with them (eg good, bad, typical etc) ? i have really bad relations with both of my parents. i simply cant stand them. its not that they're bad people. i just cant get along with them. my father is a lot to take. a very difficult man to deal with and things that have happened in the past created a totally typical relationship between us. i know that he loves me and hes a nice man deep down but he has a very bad overall personality and he really irritates me. my mother is nice too but i cant stand her. she always annoys me and i cant trust her with anything anymore. shes pressuring me a lot on many things and she makes me super mad almost every time i talk to her. bottom line is that if i had enough money to get away and live on my own
i wouldnt want to see or talk to them more than once a year. my mother has a twin sister that i also cant stand and shes probably the most annoying person i know.
anyway i was just wondering do any of u have also probs with ur parents or is it just me ?
when i say problems i dont mean specific incidents that caused fights and fall outs and that were later resolved. i mean permanent situations. i cant wait till i finish uni and get a job. then i'll have enough money to have my own place and live peacefully.
 
I'm sorry to hear that you don't have a great relationship with your parents, Roxanne. I can't get along with my parents either. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but she's not a "motherly" mother, if that makes sense. Never hugged me, never read me a bed time story, never tucked me in at night... I almost got taken away from my mother when I was younger, because she just completely neglected my sister and I. She didn't want to cook, didn't want to clean or do anything. I basically had to raise myself as well as my sister. I used to go to school and the teacher would have to brush my hair out, because it was full of knots. It was so embarassing. I couldn't have friends over at our house because it was a pigsty, and I remember having to make up excuses so they wouldn't come in. And there were like rats and roaches everywhere, it was discusting. I think that had a significant impact on my relationship with her today. I don't get on with her at all. I love my mother, I do, but I still think she could and should have been a better mother. It was as if she didn't even try.

And my father, I haven't seen him in years. The last time I saw him was when I was like 15, and it was only because I had done something stupid and one of my family members told him about it and told him it was his fault. But yeah... I barely know the guy.
 
^ thanks for sharing ur story hun :hug: i guess ppl who have not been blessed with having the ideal parents should just accept it and get on with their lives cuz theres nothing we can do about it except maybe learn from our parents mistakes and become great parents ourselves someday. i already know what kind of parent i would not like to be.
 
Oh, Im so sorry to hear that from u guys :angel: May God bless ur hearts and strenght to face all this! :flowers:
I fortunately have a good relationship with my folks...I believe I get along with my dad better than with my mom, and my brother gets along more with my mom than with my dad. We're not a perfect family and we do fight sometimes...I used to fight A LOT with my brother, but the subject here is parents so...
My mom has always been really anxious almost desperate about stuff and thats really stressful, she pressures me too much sometimes and is always saying the same annoying things and it irritates me.
My dad is usually nicer, takes it easy with me, but he can get stressed and moody quick and its like hell in here, I usually disappear when he gets like that or just do whatever he tells me to, so he'll calm down...
They are great, but when I was a child, and until now, they overprotected me and I inherited many of my mom's fears and insecurity. Today Im too anxious over anything and insecure, but Im trying to overcome that...but I'm not and will never be mad at them for me turning out that way, they only did that out of love! :)
 
Roxanne said:
do u get along with ur parents ? what kind of relations do u have with them (eg good, bad, typical etc) ? i have really bad relations with both of my parents. i simply cant stand them. its not that they're bad people. i just cant get along with them. my father is a lot to take. a very difficult man to deal with and things that have happened in the past created a totally typical relationship between us. i know that he loves me and hes a nice man deep down but he has a very bad overall personality and he really irritates me. my mother is nice too but i cant stand her. she always annoys me and i cant trust her with anything anymore. shes pressuring me a lot on many things and she makes me super mad almost every time i talk to her. bottom line is that if i had enough money to get away and live on my own
i wouldnt want to see or talk to them more than once a year. my mother has a twin sister that i also cant stand and shes probably the most annoying person i know.
anyway i was just wondering do any of u have also probs with ur parents or is it just me ?
when i say problems i dont mean specific incidents that caused fights and fall outs and that were later resolved. i mean permanent situations. i cant wait till i finish uni and get a job. then i'll have enough money to have my own place and live peacefully.
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Aww, I'm sorry to hear that, Roxanne :better:

I don't have the best relationship with my parents, either. I have to say I'm a bit jealous to those who can tell everything to their mum and are 'best friends' with mummy and daddy. I'm not saying I want them to be my best friends, but it would be nice to be able to tell them something . They hardly know anything about me! I don't want them to know every single thing though, but I don't even remember when I last time hugged them :scratch:
And my dad really annoys me. It's not just me, but my both sisters are sometimes really annoyed by him, too. It's just his personality, but I can't stand it. I can be around him for few hours a day but it really gets annoying if we go to a holiday and I have to spend with him 24 hours a day! I think it also effects on everyone that because dad is very powerful person he sometimes doesn't get along with mum either.
Nowadays my mum really tries to get closer to me, she asks how was my day when I come from school and stuff like that but this relationship isn't fixed in a week. I think it's too late already to have a really close relationship but I have noticed that when my older sister moved away she really got closer to mum, so maybe that'll happend with me too..
 
I'm not close to anyone that i live with ( Mum & Brother), i cant confide in them and i get left out of everything,my Mum knows this aswell i've tried talking to her about it but as usual we ended up screaming at each other, she always treats my brother like Royalty and leaves me in the Dark as if i don't exist, when i move out i'm not going to keep in touch with her or my brother but i will be in touch with other family members i feel close to
 
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My father I haven't seen or spoken to him since my grandmother's funeral back in January of 2001. So this coming January it will be 8 years since I last seen and spoken to him. I personally hate him mainly because he is so very prejudice. He disown my 2 half sisters just because they had a black man's baby. I don't see anything wrong with that. Then my one half sister went to my father asking for some money so she could feed her baby. And he wouldn't give her single cent. Because her baby is half black. After hearing that I really wanted to kill my father for doing that to my half sister. Not only is he a prejudice bastard he is also a cheater. My mother was married to him for only 5 years. And through out those 5 years he had cheated on her numerous times. I hate people who are like that. In fact I consider Michael Jackson as more of my father than that prejudice asshole is.

As for my mother I kind of have like a love hate relationship with her. Half the times I tend to get along with her great. But the other half she just tends to drive me insane and I can't wait for her to leave for work or whatever. So I can do what I want to do without her bothering me all of the time.
 
Thriller_MJ said:
I'm not close to anyone that i live with ( Mum & Brother), i cant confide in them and i get left out of everything,my Mum knows this aswell i've tried talking to her about it but as usual we ended up screaming at each other, she always treats my brother like Royalty and leaves me in the Dark as if i don't exist, when i move out i'm not going to keep in touch with her or my brother but i will be in touch with other family members i feel close to
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man,...that my story too. to you it's your mum and bro, to me it's everybody I live with =/

I've tried to talk with them too, and ended up screaming as well. I didn't talk wth them for like...3 weeks. they didn't even botherd to tell me its dinner time[lxD] I had to do it on my own. and i was, 13. It effected me to this day.
 
This is so sad to hear your stories.
I am nearly 50yrs old and I am lucky to know that my mother really loves me and so does my father although I think the fact that I am addopted means that we have never been close, his parents never forgave my mother for not being able to have children.
But although I know my mother loves me I had a very lonely childhood. They very rarely gave me a hug, I wasn't allowed friends round, everything had to be spotless and so I dared not ever do anything in case I made a mess. I was slow to grow up and very naive because I wasn't allowed to have an opinion, I couldn't choose my own clothes cuz I had no money and not allowed to listen to my choice of music or TV programme. I grew up not really knowing who I was as my opinion counted for nothing. But I know they did their best and I love them dearly.
It is hard bringing up children, I have three grown-up girls (21, 22 & 24yrs) and they are my pride and joy. I hope that they would agree, but we have a very good relationship, we laugh and play together still and they still choose to spend time with me and their dad (we are still married, 28yrs). Like Michael has said about his own children, I tell them often that I love them, we have lots of hugs and I always try to see the good in everything they do. I hope Im a good mum.
Love to you all, xx
 
Janey said:
This is so sad to hear your stories.
I am nearly 50yrs old and I am lucky to know that my mother really loves me and so does my father although I think the fact that I am addopted means that we have never been close, his parents never forgave my mother for not being able to have children.
But although I know my mother loves me I had a very lonely childhood. They very rarely gave me a hug, I wasn't allowed friends round, everything had to be spotless and so I dared not ever do anything in case I made a mess. I was slow to grow up and very naive because I wasn't allowed to have an opinion, I couldn't choose my own clothes cuz I had no money and not allowed to listen to my choice of music or TV programme. I grew up not really knowing who I was as my opinion counted for nothing. But I know they did their best and I love them dearly.
It is hard bringing up children, I have three grown-up girls (21, 22 & 24yrs) and they are my pride and joy. I hope that they would agree, but we have a very good relationship, we laugh and play together still and they still choose to spend time with me and their dad (we are still married, 28yrs). Like Michael has said about his own children, I tell them often that I love them, we have lots of hugs and I always try to see the good in everything they do. I hope Im a good mum.
Love to you all, xx
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Aww Janey, its so good to know that u've overcome it all and turned out to be a good mom! Many people in this situation would have turned out to be a neglective mother or whatever...
handclaps to you! :clapping:
:flowers:
 
It's very bad with both parents, unfortunatly.

My mother nags the hell outta me about being nothing but a doctor (which i'll never be because i HATE IT SOOOOO MUCH) She can't accept the fact that my ambition is to be a recording artist. She said she'll disown me if that happens...which will... That's what you call conditional love. Telling your daughter you will leave her if she doesn't choose your career of choice! HOW SELFISH! She is overly religious (which i don't mind) but i hate that she shoves it down my throat!!

My relationship with my father is awful!! It will NEVER improve. I hate his character! He is over the top controlling and paranoid. He has 7 sisters, a mother, a wife and two daughters and has yet to learn to respect women!! He is disgustingly disrespectful to my mother (it's the tone that he uses)! We disagree on EVERYTHING!!! Religion, politics, careers etc. He is close-minded, arrogant, disrespectful and at the age of 45...he still has alot of growing up to do!! Having a mind as mature as a five year old!


However...they shower me with gifts and money.

They think a daughter is all about money.

I aspire to be a fantastic mother.
 
The One. said:
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that, Roxanne :better:

I don't have the best relationship with my parents, either. I have to say I'm a bit jealous to those who can tell everything to their mum and are 'best friends' with mummy and daddy. I'm not saying I want them to be my best friends, but it would be nice to be able to tell them something . They hardly know anything about me! I don't want them to know every single thing though, but I don't even remember when I last time hugged them :scratch:
And my dad really annoys me. It's not just me, but my both sisters are sometimes really annoyed by him, too. It's just his personality, but I can't stand it. I can be around him for few hours a day but it really gets annoying if we go to a holiday and I have to spend with him 24 hours a day! I think it also effects on everyone that because dad is very powerful person he sometimes doesn't get along with mum either.
Nowadays my mum really tries to get closer to me, she asks how was my day when I come from school and stuff like that but this relationship isn't fixed in a week. I think it's too late already to have a really close relationship but I have noticed that when my older sister moved away she really got closer to mum, so maybe that'll happend with me too..
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OMG! I really sorry to hear all of your stories. :(

I'm quoting Hanna's post because I "know" her a bit. I'm really sorry to read your story. It's so sad... *hugs* Since I don't have these kind of problems I just can't tell you everything which would help. Maybe you should also give your mother some signs that you need her more than she thinks. :unsure:

I get along with my parents the best way possible. I adore them and I think they adore me. They are always there when I need them. My mother is like a best friend to me. I can tell her everything and I do tell her everything what happened with me or if sometimes I feel sad. I have been living with my husband since 1998 but we live in the same town and we meet almost every day with my parents. If not then we talk on the phone. I can talk with them about everything. I could talk with my mother for 10 hours continuously. They help me in everything. It's really a close relationship. I'm their only child and since I have had a heart operation when I was 5 years old maybe that has an effect on our relationship. They have been told that I had only 10% to survive. I think that's why they adore me even more if it's possible. And I adore them because they are the best parents in the world. I'm really a lucky person to have parents like them!:) I love you mum and dad, forever and always!!!:)
 
I never got on with my Dad as much I should have. Now I regret it, as he passed away 5 months ago after leaving us :(

Good thing we departed on good terms :)
 
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Kinga said:
OMG! I really sorry to hear all of your stories. :(

I'm quoting Hanna's post because I "know" her a bit. I'm really sorry to read your story. It's so sad... *hugs* Since I don't have these kind of problems I just can't tell you everything which would help. Maybe you should also give your mother some signs that you need her more than she thinks. :unsure:

I get along with my parents the best way possible. I adore them and I think they adore me. They are always there when I need them. My mother is like a best friend to me. I can tell her everything and I do tell her everything what happened with me or if sometimes I feel sad. I have been living with my husband since 1998 but we live in the same town and we meet almost every day with my parents. If not then we talk on the phone. I can talk with them about everything. I could talk with my mother for 10 hours continuously. They help me in everything. It's really a close relationship. I'm their only child and since I have had a heart operation when I was 5 years old maybe that has an effect on our relationship. They have been told that I had only 10% to survive. I think that's why they adore me even more if it's possible. And I adore them because they are the best parents in the world. I'm really a lucky person to have parents like them!:) I love you mum and dad, forever and always!!!:)
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Thanks Kinga :)
I'm really happy to hear about your relationship to your parents, that's the kind I would like to have too, I think...

I understand what you're saying that I should tell them I need them, too, but it's not so easy since our relationship has never been very close. It's hard for me just suddenly start talking about everything. And because there are 3 children in our family, our parents love has kind of 'divided' to all of us and none of us have a very close relationship with mum or dad, though that's not any excuse.
And I'm not saying our parents doesn't love us, of course they do. We just don't have that relationship.

And one thing I forgot to say and that annoys me especially in my mum is that she is extremely prejudiced. We have often fights because she is so narrow minded and I am definitely not. I try to get her to think more openly but she's just so old-fashioned..
 
The One. said:
Thanks Kinga :)
I'm really happy to hear about your relationship to your parents, that's the kind I would like to have too, I think...

I understand what you're saying that I should tell them I need them, too, but it's not so easy since our relationship has never been very close. It's hard for me just suddenly start talking about everything. And because there are 3 children in our family, our parents love has kind of 'divided' to all of us and none of us have a very close relationship with mum or dad, though that's not any excuse.
And I'm not saying our parents doesn't love us, of course they do. We just don't have that relationship.

And one thing I forgot to say and that annoys me especially in my mum is that she is extremely prejudiced. We have often fights because she is so narrow minded and I am definitely not. I try to get her to think more openly but she's just so old-fashioned..
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Yeah, maybe the foundation of your relationship was not the best. There are more emotional and sensivitve person than others. Maybe you are more emotional and your mother or father are not that kind of people. I don't know. It's not an excuse that they have 3 children though. That's why I said in an other thread that I like to be alone, so being the only child in the family because it may sound selfish but my parents can give me all their love. :blush: Of course I give them back as much as I can. And I really do love them from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe when you would be older your relationship would be better. Because lot of times teenagers do think that their parents can't understand them in a way they'd like to. I had some fights with my parents when I was a teenager but they were always helpful and understanding. We always came to a conclusion which was the best for all of us. But the most important thing I think is to say when you have a problem and then they can help you. But if they are not so talkative or not that open then it is so hard...
 
Growing up, my father was always too busy making money. That did strain our relationship, but now I realize everything he did was for my familys and my own benefit.

My mother on the other hand, I love her more than anything else in the world, but she drives me off the wall. No joke, she called me last night at 4AM asking me if she should buy a new refrigerator. :bugeyed
 
Roxanne said:
do u get along with ur parents ? what kind of relations do u have with them (eg good, bad, typical etc) ?
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Well I've lived with my mom only. And a few years with my mom and my grandmom (don't ask that was HELL).
I didn't really know my father well but he was alot like me and I knew he loved me. I was his only daughter with the woman he had loved since teen years.
My mom is quite a dominant person. I've found that a lot of times you just don't say no to her. And I can't lie to her, she just knows always when I'm lying to her so now I just don't tell her things. I don't want upset her and she has problems of her own..I understand her in a way. Her life is not easy.
There are good times and bad times. We live only 5kilometers away from each other and sometimes I hope there would be at least 30km between us. When things are good we're like really good friends and when it's bad it hurts us both.
My moms sister said that my mom has always been a difficult person. I've begun to think that maybe she's right.
 
browneyedgirl said:
My mother on the other hand, I love her more than anything else in the world, but she drives me off the wall. No joke, she called me last night at 4AM asking me if she should buy a new refrigerator. :bugeyed
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hahahaha thats funny! :lol: but i'd be pissed if that happened to me...usually Im the inconvenient one here :unsure:

oh no, my brother is worse...
 
My parents weren't perfect but I think as perfect as possible from my point of view now.
My Dad always worked his ass off to give my brothers and me all possibilities all the best education available etc.
The funny thing is neither my brothers nor I really used it as we all moved out and preferred to live independent than to rely on the money of our parents.
Anyways I had my probs with both of my parents during teenager years and remember I've thought at times I lived in hell also!
Since I got independent worked and studied... well since I got independent we've got the space to really get to know eachother, developed some more true respect for eachother and we do cherish and enjoy the time together more, whenever we make it. We love eachother... guess that puts it best.
 
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