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Oh goodness......

BunnyHead

BunnyHead

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You guys I'm sorry to post here again with my issues

...but I'm in pain..once again.

For the past few weeks I've been trying to keep myself occupied and trying not to weep..but now the pain is back.

Everytime I think I have closure I get reminded of the situation, I remember after that day I had horrible chest pains for weeks and weeks, like someone ripped my heart out or something and now the pain is back.

I think I feel guilty for trying to avoid thinking about him because I do love him so much.

I just reminded myself of how awful it is and what kills me is that June 25th 2010 is getting closer:no: that was one of the worst and most painful days of my life and a day that will never make me happy.

I just don't know what to do.:boohoo:

I honestly do not understand how I will get through life without him.
 
BunnyHead said:
You guys I'm sorry to post here again with my issues

...but I'm in pain..once again.

For the past few weeks I've been trying to keep myself occupied and trying not to weep..but now the pain is back.

Everytime I think I have closure I get reminded of the situation, I remember after that day I had horrible chest pains for weeks and weeks, like someone ripped my heart out or something and now the pain is back.

I think I feel guilty for trying to avoid thinking about him because I do love him so much.

I just reminded myself of how awful it is and what kills me is that June 25th 2010 is getting closer:no: that was one of the worst and most painful days of my life and a day that will never make me happy.

I just don't know what to do.:boohoo:

I honestly do not understand how I will get through life without him.
Click to expand...

Dear BunnyHead,
My goodness gracious....I "know" Mr.Jackson would "NOT" want YOU to be sad..!



As Always

:angel:
 
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BunnyHead i want to hug you.:hug:

i understand your pain, cause i'm feeling it.
sometimes i just sit and think how can i live without him?
they said through time pain will fade away,
but i see it isn't and it never will.
but i really don't want pain to stop, i just want michael to come back, :cry:
i need him and don't want to live a day without him.

i wish i could be close to you, to talk you face to face, and to hug you.
i need someone who feels exactly like me,
why are we all so far away from each other....:(

i love you.
 
cleopatra09 said:
BunnyHead i want to hug you.:hug:

i understand your pain, cause i'm feeling it.
sometimes i just sit and think how can i live without him?
they said through time pain will fade away,
but i see it isn't and it never will.
but i really don't want pain to stop, i just want michael to come back, :cry:
i need him and don't want to live a day without him.

i wish i could be close to you, to talk you face to face, and to hug you.
i need someone who feels exactly like me,
why are we all so far away from each other....:(

i love you.
Click to expand...


I know I feel the same. The road has certainly been tough thats for sure. :cry: Im missing Michael terribly!!!! :boohoo:
 
I'm so sorry to hear about how you're feeling. Have you been over to our support forum as that is somewhere we feel will help. As we approach June all the feelings are coming back, the pain, the heartbreak, the emptiness. Sometimes I do not know how I have even got to this stage. The only good thing about Michael's passing is the amazing people it has brought into my life, and you guys know who you are, and I honestly wouldnt be where I am now without them. We are all here for you and are here any time you need someone to talk too.
 
Hang in there darlin. It's starting to get really hard for me again too. Sometimes you think you're feeling a little better, and then the grief comes back. I almost feel like I'm going backwards. Just try to take things one step at a time and get through each day. It hurts but we have to keep moving forward.
 
The same as well for me, i tried to avoid it but it seems like it is starting again from now just like a countdown :cry: i know but we should all try to hold hands, and we need to believe that michael even wanted to live forever but he knew and said that life doesn't last forever :(, all my love and hugs :hug: go for you whether you are a boy or girl =) and whenever you need someone to talk to, ill be there for you, just PM me =)
 
BunnyHead said:
You guys I'm sorry to post here again with my issues

...but I'm in pain..once again.

For the past few weeks I've been trying to keep myself occupied and trying not to weep..but now the pain is back.

Everytime I think I have closure I get reminded of the situation, I remember after that day I had horrible chest pains for weeks and weeks, like someone ripped my heart out or something and now the pain is back.

I think I feel guilty for trying to avoid thinking about him because I do love him so much.

I just reminded myself of how awful it is and what kills me is that June 25th 2010 is getting closer:no: that was one of the worst and most painful days of my life and a day that will never make me happy.

I just don't know what to do.:boohoo:

I honestly do not understand how I will get through life without him.
Click to expand...
Aww sweety, I know... I feel the same... :weeping:
I'm having chest pains, shortness of breath, headaches, dizziness etc. etc.
I have to admit I even take painkillers now and then... It's just too much pain... :cry:
It's good that you've posted your feelings here. Don't keep it inside of you (that's what I tend to do :().
Miss you & love you so much Michael! :heart:
BunnyHead, hugs and love for you! :huggy: :heart: For everyone here, hugs & love too! :group: :heart:
We'll get through this somehow together, but it will take time... :(
Love you all! :heart:

Diana xx
 
I truly understand your pain BunnyHead. Especially since I am still crying over him mostly every single day since that horrible June day. And it really can't be helped for me because most of the times the tears for Michael just comes on automatically. I am on the verge of crying over Michael now. Anything like seeing or hearing a past date when we still had him, or anything even the most littlest thing related to Michael. Could start making me cry over him again. I am still suffering from deep depression since that horrible day. It was just the other day I was looking up the kind of depression that I have. And I have all the symptoms of Clinical Depression. My happiness that I once had is truly forever gone from me. The happiness that I once had forever died with Michael on that horrible June day. The last time I remember being truly happy was before I had heard the horrible news. I still do laugh and smile at some things but that only last for a few minutes until I am back to being sad and depressed again. That horrible day really did forever change me. I am no longer the same person that I used to be before it had happen. I am 30 years old and I have been a Michael Jackson fan since the early 80s. And if someone told me over 25 years ago how painful the lost of Michael Jackson was going to be. I would have never became a fan of his in the first place. Or I would have never stayed a fan of his this long. I did knew the lost of him would be painful but I didn't think it will be this painful. And I can usually handle pain quite well. But this pain that I still continue to feel every single day over the lost of Michael is excruciating. I didn't even think pain like this even existed. My heart still remains eternally broken over him. And It really does feel like we are living in a parallel universe. I really do try to spend my days by not thinking about him much. By either sleeping or by mostly playing video or computer games. Something that I might have to put my full concentration on. But that really only lasts for so long until I am back to really thinking about and/or crying over him again. Sleep really has been the only comforting thing for me that keeps me from thinking about him. I remember doing a lot of that during that first horrible month without him. All I wanted to do was just stay in my bed. I even had my laptop in my bed with me. So I can still be in my MJ sites. I just truly wish I could sleep forever. So I don't have to keep on feeling this horrible pain every single day.
 
...Sorry it took so long to reply

but I truly appreciate the kind words and support.

You all have no idea how awful it is for me, but it's wonderful when other people are here for me in this difficult time...we are here for eachother.

I just miss him so much, I feel like a totally different person or like this is all a dream.
 
oh me too
every time it hits me :( sigh* I try not to think about it cuz ut just hurts :cry: it hurts so much so bad God it does I cant handle it
it's like I ask God the punishment to be over and just give him back plz :cry:
 
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