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Need help more than ever

Mariajoaosilva

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Hi everybody,

I wonder when will i make a thread of happiness?
Some of you know that since friday,i am not in my best health because i don't have voice,and i caugh a lot.

Tiill yesterday,i was mad at me,because i can't talk,
If i thought i was having a hard time because of my mother...
Well,that isnt nothing compared to what just happened to me.
If i thought i was having a hard time because of my mother...
I'm returning home from the hospital,where my dad is in the emergencies,because he had a mini stroke.

He is stable now,but he is spending this night at the ICU,and if he sleeps well,and recovers movememts in his legs and arms,he will come home tomorrow.

And because he can't be home alone,guess where he will be and who will take care fo him?yes...he will come to my home and i will be the one taking care of him.My worst nightmare,what i always wished it didn't happen,is just starting and i am very scared of everythng because as everybody knows me and my dad don't have a good relationship at all,and if he was always a very dificult person,imagine now that he is sick.

I'm really scared of my life now.A mother with a brain aneurism,a father recovering from a mini stroke...what next???

My youngger brother can't come home because he is studying and living far away,and he is also about to start exams.

The middle one said he will help,but knowing him the way i do,this means doing nothing.

My mom finds all kind of reasons to excuse him from his duties,and i don't have strengh to say anything...

If i was near my limit,now i think i will reach it very soon if i can't find help.The problem is...where?who?I don't have time or money to go to a therapist...

Please my dear friends...if you have faith in God,ask Him to give me some Peace,because i am so tired...i mean...what did i do so bad to deserve all this?
what if this is just the begining of a long journey?what if i can't come online anymore?it's the time i spend here that its helping me relaxing...

I'm so scared...so tired...someone help me please...i can't take it like this...
 
I'm so sorry to hear all the things you have to deal with.
Hope you can find a way to deal with it.
Don't forgot to take care of yourself too! :better:
 
Maria you are in my prayers. I hope things get better for you :hug:
 
I'm very sorry for what you're dealing with...You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Maria I am going to post that prayer I had said to you in the chat here so you can pray it when you need to :
Dear Lord, Please find strength for Maria and find a solution for her in this time of need. Lord guide her in her time of need... In your name we pray ... AMEN!
 
Maria, I am truly sorry for the heavy load on your shoulders. Before your father leaves the hospital, there should be some sort of social services person available to discuss this with in detail, and leave nothing out. There are so many options now available depending upon where you live, please ask for assistance from anyone available before he is discharged, there may be options you are not even aware of at this time.

Strength to you-
 
OMG, girl... I'm so sorry to hear this... :sad:
Please try to stay strong! Sending lots of love and strength your way! :heart:
Also for your mum and dad!
Take care! I'm thinking of you! :huggy: :give_heart:
Diana xx
 
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. :(

I don't know if this will help, but here is a quote from a site for Carers - "Your local carers centre, GP, local authority (social services) or other support organisations should be able to help you with some of the care issues you have. In particular, it is your local authority's responsibility to provide assessments for the person being cared for, to offer help at home and potentially provide respite care."

I really hope things get better for you. :hug:
 
Thank you so so much my dear friends.
Your words of support mean a lot more than words can say.

My dad is a very dificult person and now that he is sick,he is not making anything easier.He said today he refuses to have help and he dosen't want the family to know about what is happening to him.

I fear the worst because he is the kind of person that whatever you do is wrong,and you shouldn't have done,but if you don't do,then you don't care,because if you did,you would have done.
How to deal with someone like this?he is driving the people of hospital crazy.

He is going to make some exams and only after having the results and when he gains strengh in his hand and leg,will be discharged.
I will see if i can talk to his doctor,to ask for oppinion and help,because i am completly lost and exausted as i have to take care of my mom,and of the house,so the time i have for me,is becoming less and less and it is only in the night.
Anyways,i will update this thread anytime i have more news.
Again,and from the botton of my heart,thank you all...so so much!

God Bless you all.
 
First of all i want to thank,again,for all the love,all the prayers and support.

If it wasn't all of you,i wouldn't be able to handle all this,and that is what i know for sure.
Today i went to the hospital again and my dad is pretty much the same as he was yesterday.He still needs to gain strengh in his arm,and hand.

I tried to find out ways of getting help to take care of my dad,for when he lives the hospital,and got my dad screaming that he will not allow help of anyone unless it is me,my brothers,or my mother.
My poor mummy that is so sick and needs all the help ppossible!...how can someone so sick as my dad is now,still be so mean?
I pray God will not punish him for what he is doing to his own family.
he dosen't allow anyone to tell what is going on to his brothers,sisters,anyone.Yet,he calls his friends and co workers and acts as if he is dying!
I always feared the time that my dad would need help,because i always knew it was not going to be easy.but i had no idea it would be like this.
Since monday all i do is runing back and forth to the hospital and if this goes on,i fear i'll not make it.
I very tired,and i think that this is just the begining.I need help but i'm not allowed to get it,because my dad dosen't want anyone to know,so i can't tell my doctor.
Tomorrow my dad will hopefyully do the last exam,and if weverything is well he will leave the hospital friday.But there's no sure as i don't know if he will make then exam tomorrow.
I'll update this thread as long as news come along.
 
Again the news i have are not the best because my dad hates me,and he dosen't even bother to hide it.

My dad came home yesterday at 9pm,and started already to cause problems.
first he forbide me and my mom to say what was happening to anyone of his family,but a bad news ends up being known vwery fast,and that is what happened.
his family,his brothers and sisters,found out,and called me screacming and saying how dissapointed they are with me,because i should have sdaid no matter what my dad said.So now what?my dad askes me a secret and i don't respect his wishes??I'm sorry but a secret is a secret.
Plus he was not dying,so that is why i agreed not saying it.
Sent a e mail to my uncles and cousins and told them a few thruths.Only one uncle answered.

My dad spent the night terrible and as a consequence of it,i almost didn't sleep,my mom or brother either.I never imagined that he would be this rude.He is my dad and i am doing this because its my duty,but if this goes on much more,i'll end up crazy,because my dad dosen't cooperate or make things easier.
If i didn't have a life before this,now its even worst and i wonder what will happen next.
My midle brother heard from me because he came to house and started to tell me what i should do,how and when.He also asked my youngger brother when was he going to the town he lives,and acted suprised when my youngger brother said that he was not going very soon,because i couldn't be here alone to take care of the 2 parents at the same time.
For my middle brother,i should take care of my parents alone.A mosnter is what he is becoming since he married that woman!
I almost lost control looking at them.
I swear my dear friends,i never ever felt like this,or thought i would ever feel.
I always imagined that if i had to take care of my father,that it would be a nightmare,but it is way much more than that.I'm, living in hell.
If this isn't hell,i can't imagine something worst than this.
How can someone that is sick,in need of help to almost everything,be so cruel,so mean?
Noone wants to help me because noone knows how to deal with my dad.
What should i do?can someone help me?
 
hello Maria..first let me say I am so sorry for what you are going through...:hug:...Secondly..I see that someone else in this thread has already said what is was I was going to say. I was going to tell you to call elderly affairs and see if you can get help taking care of him. Your mom is to sick also..if you tell them the situation I am sure there has to be some type of help for you. Dont pay any attention to what it is your father says to you. I worked with elderly people and they say mean things sometimes..for some it is just how they are. I hope you get the help you need and I will be praying for you.
 
It´s not your duty to take care of your dad,especially if he treats you bad.
Is there help you can get,but your father refuses?
You have a life to and have a right to live it.
 
All of you are so great and wonderful to me...i don't have words enough to thank you...

To answer what you are saying,yes there would be a way for me to get help if my father allowed it.
Not only he dosen't allows,he is also being himself in a very mean and cruel way.
Me,my mom and brother,don't know what it means to rest since last friday,and i fear this will go on for a very long time.
My fear is my mother.She has a brain aneurysm and being restless is the worst for her.My dad not only dosen't care,he makes her me and my brother,their maid.
My middle brothwer is exactly like him so he dosen't even bother to call to know how his father is.
Both me and my youngger brother are going crazy and i fear that one of these days,i will say something i shouldn't to both my dad and my middle brother.
Meanwhile,my mother found out today that needs another surgery,but that surgery has to be done in Paris.
The hospital is taking care of everything,and we still don't know when my mom will be called to go,but with my father like this i ask...i can't be in 2 places at the same time...what should i do?how?
I swear my dear firends,..i never ever felt so tired,to fed up of everything.
each day that goes by,i wake up more tired than i was.
Nothing legal can be done because my dad is very aware of everything...
I have no idea what did i do to God to desreve all this.I know you will say that God has nothing to do with this,that its not His fault,but if isn't His fault,whose fault it is?
Since June 25th,my life changed complelty.I started to survive,instead of living.Till this with my father happened,i was doing it for my mom that needs me a lot.
Now that i have both my parents sick,and my dad driving me crazy,i am losing my strenghs and it is becoming harder,day-by-day to find a reason to go on struggling.
Please someone help me...tell me what to do...how?...where?...
I am so...so tired!
 
i'm sorry to read this. i think your father has to understand that your mother needs you more. I think you should go with your mother, she needs you more. Look i'm not trying to persuade you in my believes but I hope this helps you. I try to pray every day at 3pm because for my religion (for Christianity in general) that hour means a lot. You should search why and try it. It works for me. I'll pray for you, i hope it bring you peace.
 
MIST said:
Just wondering;how are you?
Click to expand...

Well...thank you so much for wonder and care...The reason why i haven't updated this thread is because everybody has a life,and the last thing i want to do is to cause sadness to anyone that reads this.
The latest news is that my dad will have an appoitment next tuesday,and i will try to talk to the doctor and ask her to keep my dad at the hospital,because he is a very dificult person and is driving everybody crazy.
Plus,tomorrow my brother will have to go to the town he is living,so he can deliver a few works he was doing here,and i almost panic when i think how will i be able to take care of my mom at the same time my dad.

He loves to make me so mad,that he even comes online at the same time i am here.

I swear i have no idea how i will handle this when my brother is not here,but at this point i don't care anymore.
I'm so tired and fed up of my life,that i pray everyday to die,as my life has lost its meaning and 36 years of pain is too much deal.
Anyways,thank you all for caring and wondering about me.It means way much more than words can say.
 
Mariajoaosilva said:
Well...thank you so much for wonder and care...The reason why i haven't updated this thread is because everybody has a life,and the last thing i want to do is to cause sadness to anyone that reads this.
The latest news is that my dad will have an appoitment next tuesday,and i will try to talk to the doctor and ask her to keep my dad at the hospital,because he is a very dificult person and is driving everybody crazy.
Plus,tomorrow my brother will have to go to the town he is living,so he can deliver a few works he was doing here,and i almost panic when i think how will i be able to take care of my mom at the same time my dad.

He loves to make me so mad,that he even comes online at the same time i am here.

I swear i have no idea how i will handle this when my brother is not here,but at this point i don't care anymore.
I'm so tired and fed up of my life,that i pray everyday to die,as my life has lost its meaning and 36 years of pain is too much deal.
Anyways,thank you all for caring and wondering about me.It means way much more than words can say.
Click to expand...


..............Really dont know what to say:no:,really wish I could help you out!:yes:

(((((((((((big warm hug and l.o.v.e)))))))))))))))
 
Carol...thank you so much for your love and support that means way much more than i can say.

Tight hugs
 
Nirvana...i'm far from being alright....day-by-day i feel more tired and there's nothing i an do to change it,even if people say or think diferent.

Its very easy to give advices and to have solutions forthe problmesothers have,but when you are in the problem...everything changes.

The reason why i stoped updating this thread,is because i realised that i don't have the right to make anyone worried,as everybody has a life and problems of their own to solve.

Thank you so much for caring...you and everybody that read and/or post here.Can't thank you all enough...

Please don't see this as being rude,or cruel...it's the opposite really.
It's because i feel that i don't have the right to make anyone worry...its because i worry,i wonder,i care...and most of all,i pray.

God Bless each and all of you.
Sorry if i am seem like i don't care...i'm just way to tired at this point,and can't see a way out no matter what i try
 
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