Carmour260
Proud Member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2011
- Messages
- 537
- Points
- 28
It seems like yesterday that I learned that the King of Pop was gone so sudden. My world was totally shattered and I knew life would never be the same.
Going back to March 2009, I, like all of you, were excited to see that Michael Jackson would be returning to the stage once more. Although I couldn't afford to go to London, my big thought would be if Michael decided to tour the world one more time and come to Atlanta. Wishful thinking to some of you, but it wouldn't hurt to think.
June 25, 2009: It started like any other day for me. I had arrived to work on the late shift (12:30-8:00). I just learned about the death of Farrah Fawcett. Im my mind, she's with God now, she no longer has to suffer. A very gracious woman she was.
Then, the unthinkable happened....
Around 5:00-5:30, I got a text message from my co-worker saying that Michael Jackson died. I immediately brushed it off as a rumor. However, I went on the internet anyway to see what's going on. It was saying Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital. I begin to pray that he would recover and really be careful. Then my phone rang and it was my cousin, telling me the news. I still didn't believe it. I called my mother and she told me the same thing. I was still not convinced. Then around 6:00, I emailed my boyfriend to see if he heard anything. And that's when I believe it. I was totally shaken and I was still at work. I struggled to remain focus as I'm going through the last two hours at work. When I got off, I drove around the Atlanta area for an hour. I arrived home, and it was on the news. Every channel, every radio station. I could not escape it. I didn't eat or sleep so much for the next two days.
The next day, I would be tested. Some people (you can count with at least two fingers), began to come to me and really being mean-spirited. My other co-worker would talk to me, but I never liked her and she don't like me and I didn't want to hear any of it. Then, a patron said we lost two white women. I was told by the co-worker, who first broke the news to me (I like her) and I'm grateful I didn't hear it. This was not the time to make degrading jokes. I struggled throughout the day as well.
Around that afternoon, I heard a tribute was happening at the last minute and I jumped at the chance. I really needed that. That made my day. The same thing the next night, I went to a club with my cousin and we had a great time.
However, as months go by, I was still in mourning, although I stayed busy with work. Even work didn't help as much as it began to overwhelm me. I struggled with loneliness throughout my life and I was beginning to feel that everyone in my life was disappearing. I started doing things I told that I would never do. Like Usher's song "Papers" said: I done been through so much drama, I done turned into the man that I never thought I'd be.
Like many of you, I wanted to know what happened. I've heard so many things, and I started to learn that his time would be coming, but I didn't think it would be soon. Sometimes I'm still angry and sad. I thought that Michael would live a whole lot longer. Maybe the Lord needed Michael more than we do. We're all not meant to be here on earth forever, we just have to make the best out of life as much as possible. Tommorow's not promised.
Just recently, I began to snap out of it. I'm now on the road of re-gaining control of my life. I'm still fighting, but I will do whatever it takes to make it.
I said this from day one that I might not never get over his death. I still haven't. Nobody would ever understand the connection that I had with Michael, despite the fact that I never got to see him in person. However, I'm feeling much better now as I celebrate his legacy. His spirit was always here within me and I can still feel now, even more. Like Jermaine said, the light is not turned off, it has turned brighter.
To all of the fans out there, I can feel your pain. I know you're hurting and we all deal with grief differently, but don't sit there too long. Let's keep spreading the love all over the world as much as we can. It's not Michael's message, it's our message.
Michael Jackson, thank you so much for playing a huge role in my life. No other entertainer got to me like that the way you do. If it wasn't for you, I would not have become the music lover that I am today. I wish I could tell you all of that.
Like Diana Ross would say, "Someday, We'll Be Together."
Going back to March 2009, I, like all of you, were excited to see that Michael Jackson would be returning to the stage once more. Although I couldn't afford to go to London, my big thought would be if Michael decided to tour the world one more time and come to Atlanta. Wishful thinking to some of you, but it wouldn't hurt to think.
June 25, 2009: It started like any other day for me. I had arrived to work on the late shift (12:30-8:00). I just learned about the death of Farrah Fawcett. Im my mind, she's with God now, she no longer has to suffer. A very gracious woman she was.
Then, the unthinkable happened....
Around 5:00-5:30, I got a text message from my co-worker saying that Michael Jackson died. I immediately brushed it off as a rumor. However, I went on the internet anyway to see what's going on. It was saying Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital. I begin to pray that he would recover and really be careful. Then my phone rang and it was my cousin, telling me the news. I still didn't believe it. I called my mother and she told me the same thing. I was still not convinced. Then around 6:00, I emailed my boyfriend to see if he heard anything. And that's when I believe it. I was totally shaken and I was still at work. I struggled to remain focus as I'm going through the last two hours at work. When I got off, I drove around the Atlanta area for an hour. I arrived home, and it was on the news. Every channel, every radio station. I could not escape it. I didn't eat or sleep so much for the next two days.
The next day, I would be tested. Some people (you can count with at least two fingers), began to come to me and really being mean-spirited. My other co-worker would talk to me, but I never liked her and she don't like me and I didn't want to hear any of it. Then, a patron said we lost two white women. I was told by the co-worker, who first broke the news to me (I like her) and I'm grateful I didn't hear it. This was not the time to make degrading jokes. I struggled throughout the day as well.
Around that afternoon, I heard a tribute was happening at the last minute and I jumped at the chance. I really needed that. That made my day. The same thing the next night, I went to a club with my cousin and we had a great time.
However, as months go by, I was still in mourning, although I stayed busy with work. Even work didn't help as much as it began to overwhelm me. I struggled with loneliness throughout my life and I was beginning to feel that everyone in my life was disappearing. I started doing things I told that I would never do. Like Usher's song "Papers" said: I done been through so much drama, I done turned into the man that I never thought I'd be.
Like many of you, I wanted to know what happened. I've heard so many things, and I started to learn that his time would be coming, but I didn't think it would be soon. Sometimes I'm still angry and sad. I thought that Michael would live a whole lot longer. Maybe the Lord needed Michael more than we do. We're all not meant to be here on earth forever, we just have to make the best out of life as much as possible. Tommorow's not promised.
Just recently, I began to snap out of it. I'm now on the road of re-gaining control of my life. I'm still fighting, but I will do whatever it takes to make it.
I said this from day one that I might not never get over his death. I still haven't. Nobody would ever understand the connection that I had with Michael, despite the fact that I never got to see him in person. However, I'm feeling much better now as I celebrate his legacy. His spirit was always here within me and I can still feel now, even more. Like Jermaine said, the light is not turned off, it has turned brighter.
To all of the fans out there, I can feel your pain. I know you're hurting and we all deal with grief differently, but don't sit there too long. Let's keep spreading the love all over the world as much as we can. It's not Michael's message, it's our message.
Michael Jackson, thank you so much for playing a huge role in my life. No other entertainer got to me like that the way you do. If it wasn't for you, I would not have become the music lover that I am today. I wish I could tell you all of that.
Like Diana Ross would say, "Someday, We'll Be Together."