MJsForalltime
Proud Member
When I heard of Michael’s death I was devastated. I was at my son’s baseball game. All I wanted to do was to get home and turn on the television and find news. I guess I was hoping not to find any news, if I found nothing, than it would not be true.
I have to admit that I had not thought much about Michael in the past few years. He had not put any new music out there. He didn’t do any new interviews. If you heard anything about Michael it was in the form of a joke. I had always been a fan, I had all of his music, I cranked the radio whenever he came on. I thought he was the sexiest man alive.
However I was a struggling single mom, and was oblivious to anything other that putting a roof over my kids heads and feeding them.
During his trial, my heart broke when I saw him walking in and out of that court room humiliated. I was so angry at the world at this point. God help anyone who had something negative to say about Michael. They got it from me with both barrels. I was like a momma protecting her cub. In my heart, I wanted to go to L.A. to hold his had to make things better, but that was unrealistic. He was Michael Jackson, and many people felt like I did. Of course….
But, as my grandmother used to say “out of sight out of mind” I do know when I heard the news my heart broke. I went into my bedroom and cried my heart out. I don’t usually get into celebrity news or follow stars around the world. I don’t usually cry when I hear bad news on the t.v, or someone dies that I didn’t know very well. Of course I am sorry it happened but like most of us life goes on. Michael’s death was different, my heart was broken even if I didn’t know the man or understand why I was feeling the way I was. Now it’s October, Mike has been gone for 4 months and I am still grieving. My kids are ready to put me away, they have never seen me so upset over someone I didn’t even know. I wanted to know him, we all did.
I also have to admit when I heard about the 02 concerts, part of me was angry. I had loved this man all of my life. I wanted him to perform but it was out of the question for me to go to England. Why was he not doing the shows here? I realize now I was not seeing things from his perspective. To him this country had turned their backs on him… and for the most part that was true… we were guilty. Mike was a joke here. And now that makes me so disappointed in my country. Michael Jackson was a national treasure, one to be cared for and cherished. Instead we made false accusations against him, made fun of him, made jokes about him. As a country we failed one of our most important citizens. This man was an ambassador to the world; he shared more “good faith” than any president of foreign dignitary ever sent. What did we do? We put him on trial.
Responsibility for Michael’s death falls on all of our shoulders. I don’t pretend to understand what happened or what didn’t happen. I know that many celebrities have died of drug overdoses. We as a nation have done nothing. Up until Anna Nicole’s death I had not even heard of law enforcement going after Doctor’s who illegally prescribe medications who kill people. What are we doing? When does this stop?
I know that during my lifetime Michael was the biggest star in the world. He was loved by so many people for the persona that he displayed to the media. He understood that to be “too out there” would not be a good thing. Weather because he really was a private person or because he didn’t want people to get too much of him. I think we lost touch. …
Most of us didn’t know the man; we only knew what we were told of the man, unfortunately, most American’s bought what the media was selling. We knew he was a wonderful singer dancer and performer, but we lost perspective. We knew he gave countless dollars to those who had less than he did. But I don’t believe that any of us really knew the man. We didn’t know his flaws or his personality quirks or if he picked up his own socks.
I have heard countless times that Michael’s own fame is what made him so lonely. I can’t imagine being surrounded by people and feeling so alone. He could not have known if people loved him because of his fame and talent or because of his money. How many people were in and out of Michael’s life? How many people would have loved him had he been a carpenter. Mike would have been the same man without his fame, or talent. Can any of us imagine him building houses or fixing cars?
My only wish is that one of us could have gotten close enough to really know the man, to not give a crap about his money or his fame. I wish I could have had him over for dinner without knowing who he was, or caring. I wish he could have found that special person who he could have told his secrets too and not worried that they were going to be spilled in the next interview. I wish he could have found someone to hold his hand, and take him to “a place with no name” and really loved him for the man he was, someone who would tell him to pick up his socks even if he was Michal Jackson. Someone to treat him and love him like he was just a man, someone that would have not put up with the drugs and countless doctor visits, and the dark people that he seemed to surround himself with. Someone who he loved with all his soul, and would return that love even if he was just a man.
As a nation, we failed to see the man, we only saw the star, and although stars shine bright, they often burn themselves out. And when they do they leave a black hole that absorbs everything in sight. I feel that what is left in my heart where Michael Jackson used to be.
I have to admit that I had not thought much about Michael in the past few years. He had not put any new music out there. He didn’t do any new interviews. If you heard anything about Michael it was in the form of a joke. I had always been a fan, I had all of his music, I cranked the radio whenever he came on. I thought he was the sexiest man alive.
However I was a struggling single mom, and was oblivious to anything other that putting a roof over my kids heads and feeding them.
During his trial, my heart broke when I saw him walking in and out of that court room humiliated. I was so angry at the world at this point. God help anyone who had something negative to say about Michael. They got it from me with both barrels. I was like a momma protecting her cub. In my heart, I wanted to go to L.A. to hold his had to make things better, but that was unrealistic. He was Michael Jackson, and many people felt like I did. Of course….
But, as my grandmother used to say “out of sight out of mind” I do know when I heard the news my heart broke. I went into my bedroom and cried my heart out. I don’t usually get into celebrity news or follow stars around the world. I don’t usually cry when I hear bad news on the t.v, or someone dies that I didn’t know very well. Of course I am sorry it happened but like most of us life goes on. Michael’s death was different, my heart was broken even if I didn’t know the man or understand why I was feeling the way I was. Now it’s October, Mike has been gone for 4 months and I am still grieving. My kids are ready to put me away, they have never seen me so upset over someone I didn’t even know. I wanted to know him, we all did.
I also have to admit when I heard about the 02 concerts, part of me was angry. I had loved this man all of my life. I wanted him to perform but it was out of the question for me to go to England. Why was he not doing the shows here? I realize now I was not seeing things from his perspective. To him this country had turned their backs on him… and for the most part that was true… we were guilty. Mike was a joke here. And now that makes me so disappointed in my country. Michael Jackson was a national treasure, one to be cared for and cherished. Instead we made false accusations against him, made fun of him, made jokes about him. As a country we failed one of our most important citizens. This man was an ambassador to the world; he shared more “good faith” than any president of foreign dignitary ever sent. What did we do? We put him on trial.
Responsibility for Michael’s death falls on all of our shoulders. I don’t pretend to understand what happened or what didn’t happen. I know that many celebrities have died of drug overdoses. We as a nation have done nothing. Up until Anna Nicole’s death I had not even heard of law enforcement going after Doctor’s who illegally prescribe medications who kill people. What are we doing? When does this stop?
I know that during my lifetime Michael was the biggest star in the world. He was loved by so many people for the persona that he displayed to the media. He understood that to be “too out there” would not be a good thing. Weather because he really was a private person or because he didn’t want people to get too much of him. I think we lost touch. …
Most of us didn’t know the man; we only knew what we were told of the man, unfortunately, most American’s bought what the media was selling. We knew he was a wonderful singer dancer and performer, but we lost perspective. We knew he gave countless dollars to those who had less than he did. But I don’t believe that any of us really knew the man. We didn’t know his flaws or his personality quirks or if he picked up his own socks.
I have heard countless times that Michael’s own fame is what made him so lonely. I can’t imagine being surrounded by people and feeling so alone. He could not have known if people loved him because of his fame and talent or because of his money. How many people were in and out of Michael’s life? How many people would have loved him had he been a carpenter. Mike would have been the same man without his fame, or talent. Can any of us imagine him building houses or fixing cars?
My only wish is that one of us could have gotten close enough to really know the man, to not give a crap about his money or his fame. I wish I could have had him over for dinner without knowing who he was, or caring. I wish he could have found that special person who he could have told his secrets too and not worried that they were going to be spilled in the next interview. I wish he could have found someone to hold his hand, and take him to “a place with no name” and really loved him for the man he was, someone who would tell him to pick up his socks even if he was Michal Jackson. Someone to treat him and love him like he was just a man, someone that would have not put up with the drugs and countless doctor visits, and the dark people that he seemed to surround himself with. Someone who he loved with all his soul, and would return that love even if he was just a man.
As a nation, we failed to see the man, we only saw the star, and although stars shine bright, they often burn themselves out. And when they do they leave a black hole that absorbs everything in sight. I feel that what is left in my heart where Michael Jackson used to be.