JMie
Guests
Hi guys, I just wanted to share the story of my fan life with you...
I became a fan in 1993. My father worked in Nigeria, and my mother, my younger sister and I were there with him, in a small village Ajaokuta. I made friends with a girl there, who was a Michael Jackson fan. She was also from Russia. One day she gave me a video tape with Michael's interview to Oprah. I sat to watch it on a Saturday and after it was over I rewinded it and watched it again. After that I went to my mother, who was in the kitchen, and I told her, "Mom, I have a new favorite singer, his name is Michael Jackson". I was 15 years old.
It was not even his singing that got to me, it was his personality in that interview. I saw what an interesting person he was, how open and genuine he was, he seemed like such a nice guy. And soooo very handsome too! What else a 15-year-old girl could wish for as her dream guy?
Thriller and Dangerous albums and a VHS of Michael's videos (most of them in an awful quality) were the only things I managed to find in Ajaokuta. Oh, those were my treasures! I listened to those albums all the time. And there was a complete Black or White video on that VHS. Just imagine it, us young girls watching it and then seeing the ending where Michael zips his pants! We were :bugeyed and :wild: at the same time. It makes me laugh just remembering that.
Then the allegations came. Because I was in Nigeria and we didn't have TV, I knew very little at that time about what was really happening. My grandparents sent me news clippings from Russian papers and I had a general idea, but because I was young I just didn't realize how serious it was. I was more upset by the news of Michael performing in Moscow while I was in Africa. It was two years later when I got to see the footage, the news reports and Michael's message to the public, when I understood what really was happening with him during that time...
After a year in Africa I came back home, finished high school and was getting ready to take entry exams to a university. During those years I was a lonely fan, my friends didn't like Michael and there was no internet so I couldn't find anyone who loved him as well... And then in summer 1996 I heard that Michael would perform in Moscow again in September. My mother said, "If you pass the entry exams to the university, we will buy you a ticket". Oh my god, I had never studied that hard before! The day after we found out I was admitted to the university, my mother and I went to the Dinamo stadium ticket office and bought the tickets. It was unbelievable for me. I just couldn't grasp the idea that I would see Michael. In flesh. At that time he seemed so distant to me, like a mirage sometimes. Sometimes I even thought that he didn't exist, that someone just made him up. But he did exist and was coming to Moscow. And I couldn't believe it!
On the day of his arrival (Sept 15, 1996) I went to the hotel he was going to stay at, and as I was coming closer I suddenly saw the fans. Many many fans!! It was amazing, I was not lonely anymore! Thanks to Michael I found my people! And then Michael arrived and I saw him and realized finally that he was real I can't describe that feeling really. He was standing there waving to us. He was wearing a mask and I remember being slightly disappointed about it, because I wanted to see his smile so much... Then there was a concert which I don't remember at all, because it was such an overwhelming experience to me, like a lightning. All I remember that I spent the next day crying...
When Michael left, my life changed completely. I had MJ-friends now! We met several days a week to talk about Michael, to exchange footage (back then there was no internet, so everyone had two VHS recorders to be able to re-record videos). I became a member of a British fanclub MJNI and found a lot of penpals through the King! fanzine and fanbooks (remember the fanbooks? ). We celebrated Michael's birthday every year. And when he turned 40, I think more than 300 fans showed up for the celebration. This is a picture of just a few of us (with the famous Stranger in Moscow pole )
In 1997 my friends and I went to see Michael's concert in Tallinn, Estonia. I was so scared my parents wouldn't let me go, so I borrowed money from my granddad and kept my trip a secret until everything was final. My parents were shocked, there was a huge scandal, but in the end I said that if they didn't let me go I would jump out of a window (our apartment was on the third floor) and go anyway. And they let me go.
What a trip it was! MJ fans were everywhere in the city. And it felt like every fan was a family. We met new people every day and hugged and took photos together. It was amazing. The concert was fantastic. We were at the stadium at 6 am and when they allowed us in at 2 pm, I had never ran faster in my life before! And I got a place in the front row! To this day I remember every smallest detail of that concert. Every move, every smile, every "I love you more". Oh Michael. Those are such precious memories, I never experienced anything like that in my life, not before nor after. It was the last time I saw Michael. August 22, 1997. I am so grateful I had that day and a few days in September in 1996.
Back home my fan life continued. I graduated from the university, the Invincible album was released. I remember listening to it for the first time in a dark room and feeling relief because Invincible seemed like such a positive album, full of love and inner peace. I remember thinking that Michael seemed to finally leave all the sorrows behind and I was so happy! Little did I know...
Our regular fan meetings stopped around that time, because everyone grew up, had a job, some had families, everybody was busy. Still we had a small protest at the Sony office in Moscow, when Michael was protesting in the States. Our protest was tiny, just a few people with banners at the Sony door. I am not even sure that the Russian Sony employees knew what it was all about. Anyway we wanted to do our part, however small, and we did
I lived through the trial alone. I don't remember why, but I didn't look for other fans online, and as for fans from Moscow, I lost touch with them around that time, so I was alone. I worked as a translator for an international news agency and there were articles about the case every day. Everyone at work knew I was a fan so it was somewhat expected that I would translate the trial stories into Russian. I didn't translate a single story covering the prosecution side But when it came to the defence I translated every word. It was my small contribution during the trial...
June 13, 2005 will be in my memory forever. God, I was so scared. It was a night in Moscow and I sat at my computer watching live feed on CNN.com shaking and crying. Every "Not guilty" was such a tremendous relief. I couldn't sleep that night at all and then I came to work in the morning (I was working the 6 am shift that day) and the verdict story was the first thing I translated And everyone congratulated me. What a glorious day it was!!!
When Michael left for Bahrein I stopped following news about him. Knowing he was somewhere enjoying his life with his kids was enough for me. I didn't need to know his every step. I just knew that he was there. His music was with me though so I always felt his presence.
When he turned 50 I wrote in my livejournal that I wish him a long and happy life because he deserves it more than anyone...
Because I didn't read the MJ news, I almost missed the TII announcement! But thank god I didn't and the fandom frenzy hit me all over again! I sat there stressing out about the presale codes, then about the tickets, then about getting tickets too far from the stage... But then I said to myself that I should be happy because only a week ago I couldn't even think of a chance of seeing Michael perform again and now I had a ticket!!! So I was happy and getting ready to go to London.
In the end of March I went to LA to see the Figure skating world championships. Despite figure skating, my only thoughts during that trip were about Michael. I fulfilled my long-time dream and sat on his star in Hollywood Sadly I didn't even think of going to Michael's house and trying to see him. I thought I would invade his privacy. I said to myself, " Calm down, you will see him in July". If only I knew...
When I got the news that my concert was rescheduled I got so pissed. I was so angry. And I blamed Michael. I am so ashamed now. I can't get over this guilt and I ask for his forgiveness every day. How could I not know he was not to blame? I was his fan for more than 15 years, I KNEW what kind of person he was, I knew he would never offend his fans. But I blamed him. Michael, please please please forgive me. Please.
We returned the tickets and bought a new set from Viagogo, this time for July 13th. We had to go in July, because we already had our visas and plane tickets and hotel reservations...
And then I woke up on June 26th to a text message from my friend I was going to London with. The message said, "Do you know already?" I thought the concert was being rescheduled again. I got up from the bed, turned on the computer and clicked on news. And my mind went blank.
In the evening I went to the US embassy and everyone was there, all those fans I met every week years ago. Everyone came together once again. And it makes me cry just thinking about it again...
ps: sorry it's such a long post. and sorry for mistakes.
I became a fan in 1993. My father worked in Nigeria, and my mother, my younger sister and I were there with him, in a small village Ajaokuta. I made friends with a girl there, who was a Michael Jackson fan. She was also from Russia. One day she gave me a video tape with Michael's interview to Oprah. I sat to watch it on a Saturday and after it was over I rewinded it and watched it again. After that I went to my mother, who was in the kitchen, and I told her, "Mom, I have a new favorite singer, his name is Michael Jackson". I was 15 years old.
It was not even his singing that got to me, it was his personality in that interview. I saw what an interesting person he was, how open and genuine he was, he seemed like such a nice guy. And soooo very handsome too! What else a 15-year-old girl could wish for as her dream guy?
Thriller and Dangerous albums and a VHS of Michael's videos (most of them in an awful quality) were the only things I managed to find in Ajaokuta. Oh, those were my treasures! I listened to those albums all the time. And there was a complete Black or White video on that VHS. Just imagine it, us young girls watching it and then seeing the ending where Michael zips his pants! We were :bugeyed and :wild: at the same time. It makes me laugh just remembering that.
Then the allegations came. Because I was in Nigeria and we didn't have TV, I knew very little at that time about what was really happening. My grandparents sent me news clippings from Russian papers and I had a general idea, but because I was young I just didn't realize how serious it was. I was more upset by the news of Michael performing in Moscow while I was in Africa. It was two years later when I got to see the footage, the news reports and Michael's message to the public, when I understood what really was happening with him during that time...
After a year in Africa I came back home, finished high school and was getting ready to take entry exams to a university. During those years I was a lonely fan, my friends didn't like Michael and there was no internet so I couldn't find anyone who loved him as well... And then in summer 1996 I heard that Michael would perform in Moscow again in September. My mother said, "If you pass the entry exams to the university, we will buy you a ticket". Oh my god, I had never studied that hard before! The day after we found out I was admitted to the university, my mother and I went to the Dinamo stadium ticket office and bought the tickets. It was unbelievable for me. I just couldn't grasp the idea that I would see Michael. In flesh. At that time he seemed so distant to me, like a mirage sometimes. Sometimes I even thought that he didn't exist, that someone just made him up. But he did exist and was coming to Moscow. And I couldn't believe it!
On the day of his arrival (Sept 15, 1996) I went to the hotel he was going to stay at, and as I was coming closer I suddenly saw the fans. Many many fans!! It was amazing, I was not lonely anymore! Thanks to Michael I found my people! And then Michael arrived and I saw him and realized finally that he was real
I can't describe that feeling really. He was standing there waving to us. He was wearing a mask and I remember being slightly disappointed about it, because I wanted to see his smile so much... Then there was a concert which I don't remember at all, because it was such an overwhelming experience to me, like a lightning. All I remember that I spent the next day crying...When Michael left, my life changed completely. I had MJ-friends now! We met several days a week to talk about Michael, to exchange footage (back then there was no internet, so everyone had two VHS recorders to be able to re-record videos). I became a member of a British fanclub MJNI and found a lot of penpals through the King! fanzine and fanbooks (remember the fanbooks?
). We celebrated Michael's birthday every year. And when he turned 40, I think more than 300 fans showed up for the celebration. This is a picture of just a few of us (with the famous Stranger in Moscow pole )
In 1997 my friends and I went to see Michael's concert in Tallinn, Estonia. I was so scared my parents wouldn't let me go, so I borrowed money from my granddad and kept my trip a secret until everything was final. My parents were shocked, there was a huge scandal, but in the end I said that if they didn't let me go I would jump out of a window (our apartment was on the third floor) and go anyway. And they let me go.
What a trip it was! MJ fans were everywhere in the city. And it felt like every fan was a family. We met new people every day and hugged and took photos together. It was amazing. The concert was fantastic. We were at the stadium at 6 am and when they allowed us in at 2 pm, I had never ran faster in my life before! And I got a place in the front row! To this day I remember every smallest detail of that concert. Every move, every smile, every "I love you more". Oh Michael. Those are such precious memories, I never experienced anything like that in my life, not before nor after. It was the last time I saw Michael. August 22, 1997. I am so grateful I had that day and a few days in September in 1996.
Back home my fan life continued. I graduated from the university, the Invincible album was released. I remember listening to it for the first time in a dark room and feeling relief because Invincible seemed like such a positive album, full of love and inner peace. I remember thinking that Michael seemed to finally leave all the sorrows behind and I was so happy! Little did I know...
Our regular fan meetings stopped around that time, because everyone grew up, had a job, some had families, everybody was busy. Still we had a small protest at the Sony office in Moscow, when Michael was protesting in the States. Our protest was tiny, just a few people with banners at the Sony door. I am not even sure that the Russian Sony employees knew what it was all about. Anyway we wanted to do our part, however small, and we did
I lived through the trial alone. I don't remember why, but I didn't look for other fans online, and as for fans from Moscow, I lost touch with them around that time, so I was alone. I worked as a translator for an international news agency and there were articles about the case every day. Everyone at work knew I was a fan so it was somewhat expected that I would translate the trial stories into Russian. I didn't translate a single story covering the prosecution side
But when it came to the defence I translated every word. It was my small contribution during the trial...June 13, 2005 will be in my memory forever. God, I was so scared. It was a night in Moscow and I sat at my computer watching live feed on CNN.com shaking and crying. Every "Not guilty" was such a tremendous relief. I couldn't sleep that night at all and then I came to work in the morning (I was working the 6 am shift that day) and the verdict story was the first thing I translated
And everyone congratulated me. What a glorious day it was!!!
When Michael left for Bahrein I stopped following news about him. Knowing he was somewhere enjoying his life with his kids was enough for me. I didn't need to know his every step. I just knew that he was there. His music was with me though so I always felt his presence.
When he turned 50 I wrote in my livejournal that I wish him a long and happy life because he deserves it more than anyone...
Because I didn't read the MJ news, I almost missed the TII announcement! But thank god I didn't and the fandom frenzy hit me all over again! I sat there stressing out about the presale codes, then about the tickets, then about getting tickets too far from the stage... But then I said to myself that I should be happy because only a week ago I couldn't even think of a chance of seeing Michael perform again and now I had a ticket!!! So I was happy and getting ready to go to London.
In the end of March I went to LA to see the Figure skating world championships. Despite figure skating, my only thoughts during that trip were about Michael. I fulfilled my long-time dream and sat on his star in Hollywood
Sadly I didn't even think of going to Michael's house and trying to see him. I thought I would invade his privacy. I said to myself, " Calm down, you will see him in July". If only I knew...When I got the news that my concert was rescheduled I got so pissed. I was so angry. And I blamed Michael. I am so ashamed now. I can't get over this guilt and I ask for his forgiveness every day. How could I not know he was not to blame? I was his fan for more than 15 years, I KNEW what kind of person he was, I knew he would never offend his fans. But I blamed him. Michael, please please please forgive me. Please.
We returned the tickets and bought a new set from Viagogo, this time for July 13th. We had to go in July, because we already had our visas and plane tickets and hotel reservations...
And then I woke up on June 26th to a text message from my friend I was going to London with. The message said, "Do you know already?" I thought the concert was being rescheduled again. I got up from the bed, turned on the computer and clicked on news. And my mind went blank.
In the evening I went to the US embassy and everyone was there, all those fans I met every week years ago. Everyone came together once again. And it makes me cry just thinking about it again...
ps: sorry it's such a long post. and sorry for mistakes.
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