my heart hurts and my head hurts

[monique09]

i just can't believe there's nothing i can do. towards november last year i kind of got myself together and just tried not to think about him, but recently i have, and i've cried several times, including now. there is no solution. there's no way to fix this problem. what do you do then with a problem that has no solution?

i don't specifically believe in an afterlife, so there is really no consolation gained by people telling me that. and not thinking about him doesn't solve the problem because i want to think about him, i want to solve the problem, but i can't. there's only sadness and confusion. keeping his legacy alive, getting joy out of his work, continuing his efforts; none of that solves the problem either. i'm just horrified by what happened and how it happened.

 

[xthunderx2]

awww..:hug:..dont worry we are all in this together...

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

awww..:hug:..dont worry we are all in this together...

I so agree :hug:


It is also very hard for me. And I really did thought December I was doing so much better. But it wasn't until the new year had started and I had began to feel worst. I am at a point now where I can't hardly handle listening and watching him. And I miss doing that so much. Ever since I could remember I have always believe in the afterlife. And the stories I have read and heard about it. But even that doesn't make me feel any better. Not when I still tend to be haunted by those horrible vivid nightmares I kept on having of Michael through most of that Summer and in to the Fall. It is no wonder why I am still crying over him several times or so a day. Mostly every single day ever since that horrible June day.

 

[Hocus]

I know... I feel the same... :group:
This pain is just too much to handle...
Lately I just keep asking this one question: Why???
If there's a god, why did he take this beautiful angel away from us??
Why did he hurt MJ fans so much? The people with golden hearts. The people who still give a damn about this world and its children...
Why??? :weeping:

 

[Miss_star]

I know :better: It drives me crazy....knowing that there is no end in sight to this....nightmare..I can't believe Michael is gone :weeping: it's so horrific.

Towards I think sep/oct I literally had to take a step back from anything to do with Michael because I thought I was gonna go crazy TII was coming out...and I couldn't stand it anymore. Then I thought I was ok at Christmas...and I went back to the same thing...stayed away from here...didn't play his songs...avoided YT etc.

Now/.....I am listening to his songs every single day again...all day, if I am at home. And I am back here for good. I need to be here...with you guys who understand how I feel. It's hard

I heard a song earlier that made me flashback ( I don't know why) to when I had just got into Wembley in 1997 after we had been there for 30 hours....I was almost sick because I know I won't have that experience ever again :weeping:

like xthunderx said...we are all in the same boat :huggy: :better:

 

[Michael Jackson Moonwalk]

i just can't believe there's nothing i can do. towards november last year i kind of got myself together and just tried not to think about him, but recently i have, and i've cried several times, including now. there is no solution. there's no way to fix this problem. what do you do then with a problem that has no solution? i'm just horrified by what happened and how it happened

I really reach out to you, and all I can say is I feel the same way. This is too much to understand, I will never get my head around it. And no matter what I do to try and console myself it doesnt work. I also thought I was 'doing OK' around nov-jan, but I think my mind was just trying to repress it and deny everything. I stayed away from here, and all Michael related stuff as much as I could becuase it was just too surreal and I couldn't handle it. But now It's like it's really sinking in, I thing about him all the time, and I want to play his music and watch him more than before. I dreaded this month so much, the closer it got to June, the more depressed I became. I can't beleive that its's June - how on Earth did we make it here? How did we come full circle? There's a big knot in my stomach. This would have been the best year of my life. I can never fix this problem...UNLESS we really make time travel a possibility - I Know they are working on this. That's my hope. That and God. raying: