I love mj and his work and pesonality as much as anyone on here but i do kinda agree with you.I believe he did have a fascination with the figure of elvis as a man and musician and mirriored his own life and work on him in some ways, graceland, neverland, the mystery the enigma the legacy, body of work...he emulated this though..So he would have and we know he was aware of Elvis death.He prob knew more things from lisa about his addiction and knew he might be going down same road..With many addicts there is a love/hate feeling for what you are taking, the anger towards what he knows is wrong ad killing him but the love and tranquil feeling he is when on them..This is strongly shown with the sorta idea of 2 songs in mirphine..the angry aggressive side to it..and the peace and calm ...I never knew about the background noises, only elephant man someone told me...Makes it even more surreal.As the albums went on though, he did become more personal and relfective in his words lyrics songs and voice.
Others would say this is all rubbish and how dare we even contemplate such a thing..But truth is we all have a perception of michael based on watching him from afar and in a controlled setting in many respects of a tv..None of us were with him everyday or for long periods of time..not many people in world were maybe.So we don't know what he got up too in certain hours of every day..
I Think if you read into it, falsely or not..there have been certain things said and occuring that could suggest a deeper meaning to it all in regards to how michael felt and wha t he was treuly wanting to do with all this..Some things like a addiction at one or more points in his life to painkillers is true..another true arisen recently is he was aware in death, tradegy and finality..Lisa Maries's words could be quite telling as she def said and we now know michael was appear of his mortality and of others..I don't think intentional suicide is the reason although it might have happened..I hope not and that his happiness on screen was sustained for the rest of the day..But he may have had dark moods, thoughts, ideas when on drugs..we just don't knoow..I am just thinking more and more this could have all been mike saying, i know im going soon...I'll give them one last performance i know is being recorded..I know i won't be able to fininsh the 50 so why start? The aeg manager just said recently, mike huggged him after rehersal and said 'now i know i can do it''...on the surface it could be that he meant he now knows he can do a set..or it could be deeper..He has done a run through and now he can leave that part of things all tied up..Its been recorded , it will get released..legacy will be intact and perfect and flawless.He was 50 doing 50 dates and the number 25 has already been discussed..But unless you are suicide you can't pick the day you going to die..so im not sure if that is just a coincidence...
And then for me there is that split second when michael says in the this is it concert conference '' This will be my last concert perfomrnces in london because.'' and then for a mini second there is a change of expression and i just wonder what he actually felt...he may have known he would only say the word because, but either way...he did know the reason..People wil say why would he wana leave those he loved behind, but maybe he had no choice and knew it was near the end...having a doctor constantly with you for 3 months or more says something to me...I Think he was sick but like his performacnes on stage, he would never show to outside world he was in pain..He shrouded it in mystery and excitment..just like the excitment over the last few months hea created in every way...This is it has its own meanings explained..but what if there was a deeper one that only michael knew and that the plan was in motion..He just went for that build up buzz and preparation one more time..He just knew that once 50 were booked, he may have appeared to others he could do it but he knew inside it was too many and would look wrong to him if he cancelled shows.He should have made more of only wanting to do 10 shows..Was he manipulated by the sharks and their hollow promises around him , promising it will be this and that, and all the money and the legacy etc..They have a part to play
Look i HOPE AND ALWAYS PRAY what i have said is bullshit..but dont come and reply saying i am wrong because MAYBE i am..we don't know the deep truth to it all and may never know.Everyone is entitled to an opinion and as log as love for michel is true and pure..it won't be a wrong remark.I just feel IF michael knew he was sick and or dyiing..would he rather of started the tour and had to pull out in between proving all those cinics right, or pretend he is strong enough to go through with it all and muster up all the energy he had for rehersals, esp the filmed ones..Too much tradegy with this for me..too much
