God, i wish it was completely private. I cannot go through all again. It is just too painful. Just watching this video made me burst in tears again. I remember the night of the ceremony at Staples (it was evening time here), i did not sleep all night, i was devastated. And now it is all coming again. The worst is that here now it is 10.00 am, i am at work, forced to look at my awful collegues when i just want to be at home alone crying. I will read here all day, i cannot work. God, i have not recovered from 07/08 yet, cannot face that too.