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Imagine that, two months ago, you'd seen an advert in the paper for a touring amateur variety show featuring a dancing dog, a pair of children doing cartwheels and a Muslim and a Sikh impersonating Michael Jackson.
Britain's Got Talent winner, George Sampson
Now imagine the tickets at £32.50. Would you want to go?
Well, thousands do now. Because those very acts, plus seven others, are touring the country as the finalists of Britain's Got Talent, the nation's most popular programme.
On Friday the 18-date tour began in London. For the most part, the acts did the same five-minute routines we saw them do on television, but there were a few twists.
The rival adolescent choristers, Andrew Johnston and Faryl Smith, combined a gale-force rendition of Walking in the Air, and there was a joint dance routine by Signature, Nemisis and the television show's winner, the teenage break-dancer George Sampson.
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There were hoards of little girls in the audience and the mere mention of Sampson's name prompted them to issue the most ear-splitting screeching you'll hear outside an abattoir.
Most of the acts performed as well as they had on television, yet it wasn't as entertaining. There are two major reasons why Britain's Got Talent works as a television programme.
First, it's a competition: the excitement comes from waiting to see which acts the judges endorse, and which they reject. Well, the competition's over now. The second is novelty value. The first time we saw Gin the dog dance, during the televised auditions a few weeks ago, it was amusing. The second time, at one of the show's semi-finals, it was still quite sweet.
But by the final, the novelty had started to wear off. And by the time you see it on tour, you'll feel as if you've been watching dogs dance all your life.
But Sampson still looked fresh. As he did his final move - that dangerous-looking somersault which lands him flat on his back - the screaming was so high-pitched that perhaps only Gin the dog could hear it.
Britain's Got Talent winner, George Sampson
Now imagine the tickets at £32.50. Would you want to go?
Well, thousands do now. Because those very acts, plus seven others, are touring the country as the finalists of Britain's Got Talent, the nation's most popular programme.
On Friday the 18-date tour began in London. For the most part, the acts did the same five-minute routines we saw them do on television, but there were a few twists.
The rival adolescent choristers, Andrew Johnston and Faryl Smith, combined a gale-force rendition of Walking in the Air, and there was a joint dance routine by Signature, Nemisis and the television show's winner, the teenage break-dancer George Sampson.
advertisement
There were hoards of little girls in the audience and the mere mention of Sampson's name prompted them to issue the most ear-splitting screeching you'll hear outside an abattoir.
Most of the acts performed as well as they had on television, yet it wasn't as entertaining. There are two major reasons why Britain's Got Talent works as a television programme.
First, it's a competition: the excitement comes from waiting to see which acts the judges endorse, and which they reject. Well, the competition's over now. The second is novelty value. The first time we saw Gin the dog dance, during the televised auditions a few weeks ago, it was amusing. The second time, at one of the show's semi-finals, it was still quite sweet.
But by the final, the novelty had started to wear off. And by the time you see it on tour, you'll feel as if you've been watching dogs dance all your life.
But Sampson still looked fresh. As he did his final move - that dangerous-looking somersault which lands him flat on his back - the screaming was so high-pitched that perhaps only Gin the dog could hear it.