Latest on MJJC

Ladies (& guys too) I Need Help with Asking

BillieJean84

Proud Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2004
Messages
3,039
Points
0
Location
USA
Theres this guy I like alot but hes already dating someone and I should say, he really loves this woman. First off, I want to say that I normally take the initiave but for some reason, didn't.

How do I ask him out, when she & him break up, without sounding 1.desperate & 2. insensitive? I certainly don't want them to break up-except for the 1 reason: for me to date him.

so how would I say this to him right now?? any suggestions? I don't want to wait for them to break up- I don't know how long thats gonna take.

Ladies & guys' advice here please:
 
to me it is insensitive, there are many guys on this earth why put yourself in that situation. it doesnt seem worth it to me. but to each his own. seems to me you cant have him anymore than you can have michael. just love him from a distance and move on.
 
whateverhappens50 said:
to me it is insensitive, there are many guys on this earth why put yourself in that situation. it doesnt seem worth it to me. but to each his own. seems to me you cant have him anymore than you can have michael. just love him from a distance and move on.
Click to expand...

i second that !!!!!

there alto of men out there with out girl friends to be wasting your time with this guy
 
ok. i'm just asking your opinions- i won't do anything but its just that l do like him and have for awhile and when i want something i do go after it. lol. but as i said you all have good insight. I will leave him alone and move forward.


**Actually I dont have time to date now- I am more focused on work.
 
In my opinion, leave his relationship alone. I mean, if you were his girlfriend, and someone else liked him and tried to step in, it would not settle right with you. Put yourself in her shoes. I am not being a B here, but I say leave him be.
 
Earth_Song1 said:
In my opinion, leave his relationship alone. I mean, if you were his girlfriend, and someone else liked him and tried to step in, it would not settle right with you. Put yourself in her shoes. I am not being a B here, but I say leave him be.
Click to expand...

I agree...if it was my boyfriend I'd be p*ssed. :lol:
 
Go for it but remember, if he ever dates you and dropes you for another woman, i really hope you don't utter the words: "men are dogs".
 
This is just so wrong. Leave well alone. You say he loves this women? That already tells you that he isn't the one for you. He is happy, Let him stay that way. Someone will come along for you one day. someone single, who then it's fine to ask out. Asking someone that is happy in love is just wrong.
 
I told everyone here I will not. I am too busy to date anyone. =) thanks for the advice.
 
Well honestly... my last boyfriend got my respect in telling me... wow you're a girl I would love to ask out for a date but you're with someone so I'll step back.
Then we've met like a year later again and I had broken up with the guy I was with before him... well already had for some time. So when we then met it was first like innocent talking about this and that (we were both in old classical novels and old movies etc) we just had a nice talk. Then we met again and talked again about this and that and when we met the third time he was somehow like: "Ok don't get me wrong please but I have to ask are you still with that guy from well a year or so ago?"
And I answered: "Nope not with him anymore and also not with someone else."
And he was like: "FANTASTIC can I ask you out for a date???"
You know I loved that about him.
There were other guys who tried to get me out and tried other stuff not caring that I was in a relationship. They really didn't impress me at all! lol I always knew what to think about them.
But my late boyfriend really went into distance and was very respectfull, first respecting my former relationship and then simply very politely asking lol just when I've told him that I was single again he was maybe in the beginning a little bit overly like: ok NOW YOU ARE MINE!... that was almost scary lol... but well we got through that.
 
Earth_Song1 said:
In my opinion, leave his relationship alone. I mean, if you were his girlfriend, and someone else liked him and tried to step in, it would not settle right with you. Put yourself in her shoes. I am not being a B here, but I say leave him be.
Click to expand...


Couldn't agree more.

IIF one day he breaks up,and only IF he seemed interested in going on a date with me,i would considered it IF i was single.
Meanwhile...why waiting for his relationship to end?what if it dosen't?
 
Mariajoaosilva said:
Couldn't agree more.

IIF one day he breaks up,and only IF he seemed interested in going on a date with me,i would considered it IF i was single.
Meanwhile...why waiting for his relationship to end?what if it dosen't?
Click to expand...

If it doesn't it doesn't. Means he's happy with her!!! Why would anyone want to break them up? it was said he clearly loves her, so the person has their answer.

I personally would not want another woman's man, nor would I want any part of coming in between them. It's not right.

Read the very first post in this thread. Mind blowing to me.
 
Last edited:
You can not break up a happy and good relationship.

That to me can only be done by the two ppl involved.

Ppl start new relationships although they didn't end olds properly.
And it happens billions of times every day as cheating does also.

If it's meant to happen it will happen. If this guy is a guy like that he is a guy like that. If not now with Billie Jean he'll go for another different woman. So it could very well be she'd be doing her friend a favor.

Billie Jean please know I'll not judge you for this nor this guy. I'm not in your shoes. I just have a feeling I'd not do that to myself what you seem thinking about. Cuz when he would be leaving your friend this easy he might has these issues in his personality? Is he able to be part of a good, stable happy relationship at all? You can certainly judge that better but I really tend to think someone like that wouldn't be good enough for me lol. There's so many guys out there. Well you need to decide if he's worth that really.

I was only once involved in some kind of a still going on old relationship, not at all like this but I once was dating a guy who was still married but lived already a year seperated when he met me... that was stupid enough believe me.

Please think this through as hard as maybe falling in love makes it. She's your friend and he's your friend right? You'll most likely will lose one of them in the end (well I don't know guess you're not like 13 or something?) at least if not both. Better think well if that's really what you want?

Lol I tend to keep these things easier, I'm pretty old fashioned, the guy has to make the first move and I'll take it from there. If not we're just not meant for eachother. ;)
 
BillieJean84 said:
Theres this guy I like alot but hes already dating someone and I should say, he really loves this woman. First off, I want to say that I normally take the initiave but for some reason, didn't.

How do I ask him out, when she & him break up, without sounding 1.desperate & 2. insensitive? I certainly don't want them to break up-except for the 1 reason: for me to date him.

so how would I say this to him right now?? any suggestions? I don't want to wait for them to break up- I don't know how long thats gonna take.

Ladies & guys' advice here please:
Click to expand...
I was once in your shoes, I was interested in a guy that I went to high school with. I asked him out, he was shocked. He told me that he was intrested in me but, he was not. He told me, "You want me, you got me." Problem was I wasn't convinced. In the middle of Oct, I called him up and he told me, " We're just going to be friends & that's gonna be it." He had ditched me for another girl.

Needless to say, I was hurt(still am)I wanted to help him, but that wasn't enough for him. I had to make a decision, I had to leave him because he was causing me nothing but pain. I still care for him (as a friend) We have not spoken in almost 2 months.

My advice to you is, let him be, move on. There are better guys out there for you.:)
 
I still want my ex back. I was with her for a year and a half, but now shes with someone else and has been for a good 5 or 6 months now. Its horrible. Its all ive been able to think about since we broke up.

She still shows signs that shes interested in me. A lot of them actually, and she says 'She does miss me, and misses times we spent together, but shes happy' I dont quite understand it.
 
Earth_Song1 said:
If it doesn't it doesn't. Means he's happy with her!!! Why would anyone want to break them up? it was said he clearly loves her, so the person has their answer.

I personally would not want another woman's man, nor would I want any part of coming in between them. It's not right.

Read the very first post in this thread. Mind blowing to me.
Click to expand...

I have the feeling you misunderstood my words.What i mean is exactly what you say.If it dosen't end,means the feeling is real and deep.
What i wanted to say is,why does people have to think that one day the relationship will end?Thank God there are still relationships that don't end.
I wouldn't want either another woman's man,especially if the couple in question was my friend.
I would prefer to go in a distance,if i noticed that problems were happening because of me.I did that once...was not easy because i cared very much for one of the persons involved,but i think it was needed,and that it was the best i could have done,for them and for me as well.
 
Mariajoaosilva said:
I have the feeling you misunderstood my words.What i mean is exactly what you say.If it dosen't end,means the feeling is real and deep.
What i wanted to say is,why does people have to think that one day the relationship will end?Thank God there are still relationships that don't end.
I wouldn't want either another woman's man,especially if the couple in question was my friend.
I would prefer to go in a distance,if i noticed that problems were happening because of me.I did that once...was not easy because i cared very much for one of the persons involved,but i think it was needed,and that it was the best i could have done,for them and for me as well.
Click to expand...

Sorry I misunderstood you. I am really sorry.

Good for people who are in long standing relationships. I have been married almost 17 years, and still going. My folks have been married almost 43.

And I hear ya about not wanting another persons man, more so if they were your friends man in question. I think it's twisted to want a friends man, let alone someone elses man. (Not directing that at you)

Again, so sorry I misunderstood!!!

Hugs!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top