L.T.D
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- Joined
- Jul 25, 2011
- Messages
- 4,759
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Ok so for years I have suffered from issues with confidence.
I wouldnt call myself shy, I am very shy in a lot of situations but in others I am fine.
Since I left school about 3 years ago I have been in college studying music but gave it up in June.
I hadnt gotten a job in that time because I was afraid of the idea to be quite honest. I hate the idea of being stuck in an uncomfortable position in a place your dont feel comfortable in for a long period of time. I also hate the idea of doing something wrong.
My home is my comfort zone, I only really leave it to go places I either feel comfortable in...or if i'm not going to be somewhere i'm uncomfortable in for long.
I got a job in October working for Sainsbury's. I applied for a night shift 3 days a week. Which is quite good and the pay is good. The shop i'm working at doesnt open till next week so I was sent to another store to start training. I went from 10pm last night till 6am this morning.
When I start properly it will be from 12pm till 8am. Everyone is so happy and pleased for me that I have got a job because I have avoided it for so long.
I felt horrible during this night shift, all I did was stack shelves for 7 hours and had an hour lunch. I wasnt prepared for the night shift and started to feel sleepy during the lunch break.
In life you can either fight or flee, more often than not, I flee. I end up messing the whole thing up.
I just have this idea in my head that working is going to make me miserable, but on the other hand I cant go through life without a job and let everyone down. On one hand I want to be like everyone else, on the other I dont want to be unhappy.
This is something I really have to do, but I dont trust myself to stick at it. I was supposed to do training for 3 days this week. I did the first last night and then ended up phoning my manager and explaining to him that I didnt feel comfortable being stuck there with all these people who have worked there for years. Even though these peoples were more than nice to me.
Anyway just had to vent. You might think...its only 3 days a week. Its not that which bothers me though, it issues with my confidence and being outside of my comfort zone.
I just want to enjoy Christmas time without the stress this is putting on me, but I cant.
I wouldnt call myself shy, I am very shy in a lot of situations but in others I am fine.
Since I left school about 3 years ago I have been in college studying music but gave it up in June.
I hadnt gotten a job in that time because I was afraid of the idea to be quite honest. I hate the idea of being stuck in an uncomfortable position in a place your dont feel comfortable in for a long period of time. I also hate the idea of doing something wrong.
My home is my comfort zone, I only really leave it to go places I either feel comfortable in...or if i'm not going to be somewhere i'm uncomfortable in for long.
I got a job in October working for Sainsbury's. I applied for a night shift 3 days a week. Which is quite good and the pay is good. The shop i'm working at doesnt open till next week so I was sent to another store to start training. I went from 10pm last night till 6am this morning.
When I start properly it will be from 12pm till 8am. Everyone is so happy and pleased for me that I have got a job because I have avoided it for so long.
I felt horrible during this night shift, all I did was stack shelves for 7 hours and had an hour lunch. I wasnt prepared for the night shift and started to feel sleepy during the lunch break.
In life you can either fight or flee, more often than not, I flee. I end up messing the whole thing up.
I just have this idea in my head that working is going to make me miserable, but on the other hand I cant go through life without a job and let everyone down. On one hand I want to be like everyone else, on the other I dont want to be unhappy.
This is something I really have to do, but I dont trust myself to stick at it. I was supposed to do training for 3 days this week. I did the first last night and then ended up phoning my manager and explaining to him that I didnt feel comfortable being stuck there with all these people who have worked there for years. Even though these peoples were more than nice to me.
Anyway just had to vent. You might think...its only 3 days a week. Its not that which bothers me though, it issues with my confidence and being outside of my comfort zone.
I just want to enjoy Christmas time without the stress this is putting on me, but I cant.