On June 13, 2005 I knew I’d always cherish this day all my life, June had all of a sudden become my favourite month…and then last year everything changed forever. Now June is hard to bear and it seems it will be so for as long as I live.
We’ve been celebrating June 13th as Vindication Day for four years. This year as the day approaches there’s so much pain…
But my heart so wants to remember the absolute joy we all felt on that day of Michael’s victory and I’m so forever grateful to God for it.
I wrote this on the first anniversary of Michael’s victory at the trial. As I was reading it today with crying eyes, it all came flooding back-the pain, the battle, the trials…but above all- the L.O.V.E. and how It won!
Yes, we were together then and we shall stand together always as one family and do him proud. Michael’s victory doesn’t end. He continues to be victorious with his glorious legacy and our absolute love, respect, loyalty for him is part of it!
This is what I wrote then and I share it with the loving fan family that made it all possible. New fans may find it hard to believe the extents to which we went to support our beloved Michael…but we did it all…for L.O.V.E.
June 13-The best tribute we can give this day is by asking ouselves this question--- What is the biggest lesson you learnt during the trial?
One year on…, and my heart still doesn’t know exactly how to respond to this day that holds such infinite significance in our lives! Never in my life have I known a day that stands for such truly deserved joy and victory, freedom and vindication, and yet hold so much pain and agony…and anger in it’s fold. It’s hard (even impossible) for me to think of the sweetness of this day, without remembering the sadness and anguish of the days that preceded it. I’m not a pessimist. And I’m not a crying baby. I’m proud of the courage and absolute faith I lived with during the most difficult and insane time of my life. But I’m human. And I know the pain will take a long time to heal. And I believe it’s the same with many of us. But I also know that we won!
I still remember the first moments of utter shock, disbelief, grief and rage on that day in November which was to be the beginning of the test- the test of our faith, courage and loyalty, the test of our own convictions and the ideal of Truth and Justice. I remember the tension and frenzy on the board, the legal discussions, the vigils all over the world, the campaigns, the prayer circles. I remember being up all night praying or writing countless letters to the media, or circulating information to the many fan clubs. I also remember the nervousness and anxiety, the fear, the anger, the tears, and the pain we all felt and that seemed unbearable at times. I remember the crazy rulings and how helpless we felt, I can never forget the cruel media and how mad it made us, or the broken look on Mike’s face the day he walked in late with the backache, and how our hearts sank. And I remember the fans who gave up their jobs(I was one of them) to be part of the battle. I remember those who fasted for days together, or those who drove for miles to be in Santa Maria, or the ones who even put their relations with family and friends on the line when they did not believe in Michael’s innocence. These fans knew that Michael would never even be able to know them, or the extent to which they went to love and support him, but they did it anyway, for it didn’t matter whether he knew or not..it was never even a concern. All that mattered was justice and respect for Michael-the man who they knew had given them so much in so many beautiful ways that they could never thank him enough. Maybe by walking through the fire with him the fans were telling him how grateful they were to him, and that he was not alone. And I also remember and so admire Michael’s indomitable will and courage during that whole time. There were times before a hearing when I’d be so uncomfortable and my stomach would be in knots and then Michael would arrive, all bathed in innocence and purity, and I’d instantly feel better…and through crying eyes I’d wonder who was supporting whom! And I remember the fellowship, the love and sweetness of being part of the most beautiful fan fraternity. Everyone understood how everyone else felt. We did not need words to express it. Across the continents and oceans, we were holding each other’s hands, in love, in spirit. We knew we were a family, and we were unconditionally there for each other. With bruised hearts and weary minds, but with love in our hearts, we continued to fight. We knew the mighty forces we were fighting against, but it did not scare us, nor deter us. We were the Army of Love. We were a force so powerful, so determined. And we won!
Why did we give ourselves so completely to this cause? We did it not because it was about a pop star who was being accused. We were not a bunch of crazed fans blindly supporting the object of our affection. We did it because it was about a beautiful, wonderful, magical man who has given countless gifts to the world through his exceptional creativity, beauty, goodness…who has always believed that he’s here with a purpose, that “…all art has as its ultimate goal the union between the material and the spiritual, the human and the divine. And I believe that that is the very reason for the existence of art and what I do.” And if he has inspired us with his amazing art and talent, he has inspired us even more with the way he has lived his life-with integrity, honesty and dignity…and by being who he is- one of the most wonderful, generous, loving human beings the world has ever known. He’s taught us the beautiful virtues of love, kindness, compassion, humility, courage, forgiveness, hope…not by mere preaching but by living these ideals every moment of his life. He has taught us to believe in ourselves, to stand up for what is right, and to never ever give up. But most importantly, he’s brought us to the realization of the Ultimate Truth that all life is the manifestation of the Divine.. he really has bridged the material and the spiritual. And with him, it was all that he had taught us that was on the line. With Michael, it was the spirit of Truth and Justice and Innocence that was being persecuted and it had to win. And it did, and with it, all of us who had always believed in Michael, in the light of his being, and in the absolute power of Truth!
And so I feel that the best tribute I can give to this day is by asking myself what’s the greatest lesson I learnt during this most difficult time, and by incorporating that lesson in my life. And then every year from now on, on this very day, I shall look back on my life and see how far I’ve come spiritually, how true I have been to myself through all the trials and challenges I had to face. In this way, I’ll be setting a bit of truth in me free, the most fitting tribute to the day when truth and innocence were set free for all to see. To me that will be a celebration of a far more lasting kindJ
And I hope if we all asked ourselves this question and shared our understanding here with others, it will be useful to all of us and encourage everyone’s faith.
For me, it was the most spiritually revelatory period of my life. I realized the power of positive, affirmative prayer. I experienced the presence of angels and found out they are for real(believe me!).
But the greatest them of all- I realized that even if being honest, truthful and compassionate meant being ridiculed and misunderstood by the world, if it meant being tortured and tormented, being deceived and taken advantage of, I’ll still stand tall in the light of Truth …and I shall continue to love, give, and …trust.
Thankyou Michael.