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Its Never Really Gonna Be The Same Is It?

ExoticPrincess

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I was really doing so good the past two days in regards to Michael's death, I finally thought I was coming to terms with it but just know I was on You Tube checking out some videos and came across the footage from 106th and Park showing a LIVE reaction upon hearing the news about Michael's death. The audience the hosts were in utter shock! And I just started bawling again uncontrollably! I really thought that I had finally gotten control over my emotions but apparently I have not.:(I swear I don't know how I'm gonna handle the funeral 'cause I felt such a connection to this man and just still can't come to terms with what has happened that our Michael is no more physically present in our lives.

I am so sad, Jesus the tears are coming again!:(
 
I know it's hard. But we're all in the same boat and there are plenty of people here for support. :better:



You got a link for this video? :mello:
 
The world and music industry will never come to terms with it. I think in the coming period, the world will REALLY realize what they lost.
 
ExoticPrincess said:
...I just started bawling again uncontrollably! I really thought that I had finally gotten control over my emotions but apparently I have not.:(I swear I don't know how I'm gonna handle the funeral 'cause I felt such a connection to this man and just still can't come to terms with what has happened that our Michael is no more physically present in our lives.

I am so sad, Jesus the tears are coming again!:(
Click to expand...

Awww hun, I had a very hard day today as well. I was walking with my father through our local supermarket, Loblaws, and started to think of Michael again. I just cannot come to grips with the fact that the man is gone....I can't. I started to get teary-eyed, and then told my dad that I was going ot look for something down an isle....the store was pretty much empty so I wept quietly. The other night at work, I was closing alone..and lost it. I drove in the car home actually whalling...banging the steering wheel. This is not normal for me, I can't explain it. I'malmost embarassed. I didn't even know the man ya know? The last time I cried like that, was when I found out that my father may have liver cancer....yet he's fine today. Even he's reeling over Mike's death.

I never knew the man, but yes I would have given anything to have met him along with all of you. I too felt a connection, (I know this sounds silly to some yet) with regards to how he liked classic Hollywood, the Victorian era...like Neverland's house's design, being interested in past lives etc, joking about silly gross stuff, and just the love of learning about places and things. He LOVED to learn, and I always buy books and try to study them jsut to gain knowledge. I would have loved to sit and talk with him about anything. Just to be able to talk about humankind and ordinary things in general.

BTW, I love hearing about what he liked in life...the little details; he liked the smell of the ground after it rained, loved loearning about Egyptian history, history in general, deep talks about life etc.

I will always feel as if a huge part of my dreams have died...and they have. Yet if I only wanted to be a part of his life, that would make me seem selfish. Preserving his memory is the best thing I can do for a man who has inspired me and touched my soul so deeply.
 
I know how u feel :-(

Sometimes i'm okay, as long as I don't think about MJ anyway I feel alright. Otherwise--no. I also know that on the day of his funeral I am going to be a mess. I've been dreading it from the beginning.
 
It will never be the same again.

If you think about what he went through in his life you might feel happy for him that he left this cruel world. People kill each other, hate each other with or without reason, there is no humanity. And knowing him for being extremely sensitive and emotional is just amazing how he survived in the past, in 1993 they hit him with the worst and hardest attack, in 2005 it happened again, he won but suffered a lot during and after those battles. He died in his glory, victorious, proven innocent, a champion and will always be remembered.
 
No, Life will never be the same. I love sleeping since Michael's death because that's what I don't feel anything.
 
For the past week all I could do was just cry over him and thinking how much I am going to miss him. Until it was just a few hours or so ago when I had woke up. I had woken up with this such great peace over me. I had never felt such peace before. And I really want to think it was Michael coming to me again telling me that he is really alright and that he is really at peace now. And that he really wants me to remember how he was and not where he is now. Because now even though I still miss him I just can't seem to cry over him now. It was just a half hour or so ago I was laughing at the thought of wanting to see thats nasty scene in my Shake Your Body performance. From my 1987 Bad Yokohama, Japan Concert. That scene just makes me laugh so much. I guess its just the way Michael and the other guys were looking at the guy that was doing that. I am still thinking about that scene and laughing. Michael always did had away of making me feel better. Even though it is not going to be the same anymore. But I am going to remember Michael of how he had used to be. In more happier times. And I will always love him forever for that.
 
You are right, nothing will ever be the same, and just now it feels bad and depressing, but unfortunately we have to go through such things in life :eek: and sooner or later things will feel better again :unsure: but at least we have the memories, the music, the videos etc.... I personally feel sad that he is gone, but I also feel blessed that I got to know the artist Michael Jackson and his amazing music... Him dying could never make me stop listening to his music, because for me that would be like turning my back to a man that has given me a lot of pleasures and good memories... The man might not be here any-more, but his legacy still is, and it's something to cherries and celebrate, and for me also something to find comfort in when times get hard....
 
I went to the beach last night and just ran all the way down from the beach to the sea as fast as i could. I havent run like that in a long time, I got to the sea and just let it wash over me and i broke down and screamed at the sea. The peace i felt after that was immense. I feel determined to carry his legacy and become a better person by following his example.
 
There is this big gaping emptiness that will be never be whole again....I ve been going on trying to distract myself from the reality of all this....but as soon as I think about it, it just cripples me....me heart just aches.
 
same. it hurts. i tried to distract myself and listen to some of the classical music, favourite pieces. i cannot listen to Michael at all, it hurts too much, just like boiling water, cannot touch it. but i tried with classical and i couldnt hear anything. some favourite melodies and i dont hear and dont feel them. i'm like numb inside. it must be a self-defence reaction of the body and nervous system
 
everything will decline rapidly from this moment forward , the good old days are now gone forever.
 
yeahhh....nothing will ever be the same again... i cant go out of my room, i tried once but life hurt me, it felt cruel and in a way unreal. you know, it felt like the trees were painted but not real, like all the cars and ppl were just objects moving... like it's all appearances... like nothing is meaningful anymore. feels empty... like my spirit has departed with him.
i know like you said here that he probably in a better place now than all the leeches that were around him, all the dogging media and the cruel ppl... but we are left alone.
but i guess, i would be more than willing to cry and have all this pain if i know that he is really happy now where he is, really ok and resting in peace.....

it's just i feel, he didn't go like this... somebody did this to him...
yeah, honestly, the good old days are gone now... and truely nothing will be the same again :"(
 
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