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Is it a choice?

Mashlie

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Peeps, I have come under a bit of fire lately with people asking why I am obsessed with MJ so much, shouldn't I have grown out of it by now, he's just a man and I have even been told that it's embarrassing etc etc.

I normally answer the same way but the other day I had a thought and am very interested to get your views on this.

I came to ask myself if this 'obsession' is a choice I make and I ask you all the same thing. By this I mean, is it a conscious choice that I make to want to watch everything that comes on TV that is MJ related, know every word to every song, get excited about any MJ news, be on forums such as this to meet like-minded people...or is this somehow just part of our lives.

Running the risk of sounding like a total nerd, I don't think it's a choice for me. I would say that I am an average guy, listen to all sorts of music, have a full time job, go out etc but why when it comes to MJ do these things just happen without much thought. Does this make sense???

To be honest, I don't know any other subject (educational or trivial) the way I know MJ. We recently had a family quiz for my birthday where one of the rounds was an MJ round (in my honour) and they set out to ask me questions that I wouldnt know. I obviously knew everything there was to know and the reaction I got wasnt a positive one lets just say that.

Is anyone else being made to feel like you are stuck in the 80's and are a total sad-o loser or is it just me?
 
Mashllie said:
Peeps, I have come under a bit of fire lately with people asking why I am obsessed with MJ so much, shouldn't I have grown out of it by now, he's just a man and I have even been told that it's embarrassing etc etc.

I normally answer the same way but the other day I had a thought and am very interested to get your views on this.

I came to ask myself if this 'obsession' is a choice I make and I ask you all the same thing. By this I mean, is it a conscious choice that I make to want to watch everything that comes on TV that is MJ related, know every word to every song, get excited about any MJ news, be on forums such as this to meet like-minded people...or is this somehow just part of our lives.

Running the risk of sounding like a total nerd, I don't think it's a choice for me. I would say that I am an average guy, listen to all sorts of music, have a full time job, go out etc but why when it comes to MJ do these things just happen without much thought. Does this make sense???

To be honest, I don't know any other subject (educational or trivial) the way I know MJ. We recently had a family quiz for my birthday where one of the rounds was an MJ round (in my honour) and they set out to ask me questions that I wouldnt know. I obviously knew everything there was to know and the reaction I got wasnt a positive one lets just say that.

Is anyone else being made to feel like you are stuck in the 80's and are a total sad-o loser or is it just me?
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none of those people will ever be there for you in a metaphorical foxhole..and nobody ever got anywhere in life by being governed by anyone else's opinions. and there are people out there who are envious of MJ. so..it's ur choice to feel how you want to feel. and you are not alone.
 
Mashlie, to answer the question directly, no. I don't think it is a matter of choice. That's why you get some folks who could never understand you and luckily, you get others who are on the same page with you when it comes down to MJ right here. Sounds like you've been a longtime dedicated, loyal fan and that's cool in itself cuz it proves that your love for him ain't shallow at all and there's something deep connection between him and you. Outside lookin in&from a distance, he's got countless loyal fans (not just fans) around the world, but you can also look at it through a microscope and the number is an amazing sum of every single case of personalized connection that each of them feels, like you do. Without that, there can't be such many longtime, loyal fans.
 
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mashille ,i sometimes feel the same as you,i,ve been a fan for just over 20yrs since i was a teenager,i am now 33yrs old,but sometimes my family make me feel that it is not normal to be the way i am about michael at my age,that i should have grown out of it,i feel sad because back when i was a teenager my family were very supportive of me being an mj fan,my dad even took me and my brother to london to one of michaels concerts ,he didn,t come to the concert,but ever since the allegations,they have turned against him,i live a normal life ,i don,t think i am obsessed,michael is and always will be a part of my life.as for is it a choice,i don,t know.
 
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I'd say it's a choice to do things like come onto this site or listen to his music every day, but it wasn't a choice to be absolutely captivated by Michael. And everything else just comes along with that.
 
interesting topic, because 2 of my friends, well, mainly one, brought this up yesterday when she came into my room. she just went on and on about how i'm obsessed and i should have grown out of it by now!! but it's not a choice, it really isn't. i don't CHOOSE to like Michael and his music, i just do. and it's more than like, it's love. It is a huge part of my life now, being an MJ fan and all, and it really is part of who i am. if people can't accept it, then f them.

at the end of the day, it is just a music taste!! yes, i know that for 99% of us it is FAR more than that - we love the man himself etc, but in many ways he is our inspiration and one of the people we look up to and admire. what is bad about that? people should just leave other people alone to get on with their lives, and stop judging them, because i for one will never stop loving Michael!

:)
 
As many may or may not know, I have been a great admirer of Mr.Jackson, Jackson Family since I was a young girl (age7) & currently I am 46...I started collecting, corresponding with many fans, admirers from across the Globe, and Team Michael Jackson since 1977...

Throughout the 39 years of my Mr.Jackson journey, like so many fans, admirers...I too have been ridiculed, made fun of, experienced the ugliness of jealousy, and dealt with the false accusations of obsession.

For me, Mr.Jackson is NOT nor has EVER been an obssession, a fad, being star stuck, nor have I ever been interested in 15 minutes of fame...I find myself to be very well grounded, brutally honest, self taught, and a college educated human being that completely understands what is of reality and what is not.

I truly believe in the strength and power of God, Inspiration, Originality, and Creativity. With these basic ingrediants, the fruitation of the lyrics and melodies of the past, present, and future are truly a part of who and what each & everyone of us are all about...

Life is Precious...that should NEVER be taken for granted no matter WHO we are.

It's important to realize that everything in life happens for a reason..!

Therefore, each individiual has been given a gift...and WE are all here for a purpose...it is up to the individual (s) to recognize, and implement that gift (s) that God has given us...

Life is way to short to sweat the small stuff... It really doesn't matter what ANY one else thinks or says...

It is however "very important" for each of us to NEVER forget the most important rules of the Morels, Values, Virtues of Life...

"ALWAYS" BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, POSSESS A PURE HEART, and the rest... are merely just the details..! "

:angel:"Keep helping to Heal The World...Education Is The Key":angel:
 
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My mom always questions why I'm so into Michael Jackson and his music. I just feel like, once you're a fan, you're always a fan. And the connection I feel with Michael's music happens very rarely with any other artist, at least for me.
 
Wow, i am glad to see that I am not the only one. I have now started to not to talk about MJ, listen tho his music, and even seem remotely interested when the concerned parties are around and it's killing me. It is actually making 'it' worse and although there are more serious things to deal with in this world, I really wanted some help on how to deal with it and it seems that I've come to the right place.

It's funny, people often make fun of others who are into Star Wars, or Games Workshop or even Computers, I am now understanding how it must feel for them in my own way. I personally feel it is down to people not having a hobby or interest of their own. There are people who are dedicated to football teams etc and nobody says a word to them yet i have found it seems to be those that perhaps don't have a 'specialised interest' that are the ones to point the finger. Agree?

Thanks for the replies, it's really helping.
 
Mashllie said:
Wow, i am glad to see that I am not the only one. I have now started to not to talk about MJ, listen tho his music, and even seem remotely interested when the concerned parties are around and it's killing me. It is actually making 'it' worse and although there are more serious things to deal with in this world, I really wanted some help on how to deal with it and it seems that I've come to the right place.

It's funny, people often make fun of others who are into Star Wars, or Games Workshop or even Computers, I am now understanding how it must feel for them in my own way. I personally feel it is down to people not having a hobby or interest of their own. There are people who are dedicated to football teams etc and nobody says a word to them yet i have found it seems to be those that perhaps don't have a 'specialised interest' that are the ones to point the finger. Agree?

Thanks for the replies, it's really helping.
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Life is way to short to sweat the small stuff... It really doesn't matter what ANY one else thinks or says...

It is however "very important" for each of us to NEVER forget the most important rules of the Morels, Values, Virtues of Life...

"ALWAYS" BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, POSSESS A PURE HEART, and the rest... are merely just the details..! "

:angel:"Keep helping to Heal The World...Education Is The Key":angel:
 
I think it's impossible to grow out of it, cause it is not the same as to be fan of anyone who is tomorrow from yesterday. I know many fans who are really dedicated for decades...also every person has his obsessions like football or cars, with beeing a MJ fan I hurt noone, but there are other obsessions/adictions who bother other people.
 
I feel the same way. When my friends answer me that question over and over again: "Do you still like MJ?", "What's so special about him?", "..But you don't even know him?" I get kinda sad. 'Cause no, I don't know him at all, but still I feel I know him from the distence. I don't really know how to answer this question, 'cause Ive searched for the answer myself. :/
 
well ive been this way about mike since i was 2...it was the only way my mother cud get me 2 cope lol or the only way she cud actually get her work donw. she wud pop in my bucharest vhs and there i sat quietly mesmerized for 2hrs. 17yrs late im the same but of course ive geotten worse (but n a good way lol) is it choice? well im not sure lol. its just somethin so mesmerizing and captavating that ur hooked. minda like a drug lol. pple dont really say its werid but they do say michael is only a person which i know lol, but i guess being my age and in college my attention shud be elsewhere, but whatever lol
 
^JayJackson, You can love someone from a distance. You can love their ideals, character, talent and not personally know them. People love Mother Theresa, Martin Luther king, Barak Obama and they have never personally met those people does that make those people who love them crazy?? NO, IMO it is all about perception. People who question you about MJ have a certain perception of him and when you say you love him or state off facts about him those people have a hard time understanding because what you say and how you feel doesn't correlate to the (most likely) negative perception of MJ.

So basically they just don't understand and in turn take out that feeling of not knowing on you by insulting you or belittling you for your love of him.

In reality, THEY are the odd man out...

Also, I feel it is not a choice. Atleast once you make a connection to MJ in some way. At some point in your life you are open to MJ musically, artisically, ideal wise, and you make a personal connection that is irrevocable. It won't go away because it is apart of your person, and make get more intense. Sometimes this is where people try to make a claim of obsession (unfairly). IMO most people have a healthy mentality and are able to separate reality from fantasy and do not become dangerously obsessed with MJ. It is a sad generalization of MJ fans that makes people accuse us of obsession, and leave us open to mockery.

Being a fan is wonderful don't let anyone take that joy and happiness from you, because they probably wish they could be you.
 
GenieBottle said:
^JayJackson, You can love someone from a distance. You can love their ideals, character, talent and not personally know them. People love Mother Theresa, Martin Luther king, Barak Obama and they have never personally met those people does that make those people who love them crazy?? NO, IMO it is all about perception. People who question you about MJ have a certain perception of him and when you say you love him or state off facts about him those people have a hard time understanding because what you say and how you feel doesn't correlate to the (most likely) negative perception of MJ.

So basically they just don't understand and in turn take out that feeling of not knowing on you by insulting you or belittling you for your love of him.

In reality, THEY are the odd man out...

Also, I feel it is not a choice. Atleast once you make a connection to MJ in some way. At some point in your life you are open to MJ musically, artisically, ideal wise, and you make a personal connection that is irrevocable. It won't go away because it is apart of your person, and make get more intense. Sometimes this is where people try to make a claim of obsession (unfairly). IMO most people have a healthy mentality and are able to separate reality from fantasy and do not become dangerously obsessed with MJ. It is a sad generalization of MJ fans that makes people accuse us of obsession, and leave us open to mockery.

Being a fan is wonderful don't let anyone take that joy and happiness from you, because they probably wish they could be you.
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GREAT post!!! thank you!! :clapping:
 
I'm not going to speak about specific people in here.. But many fans in here AT LARGE, are obssessed with Michael..

remember most obssessions get to that point without noticing because it's gradual. Does an alcoholic know the MOMENT he/she becomes one? NO!!

I don't want to get into a drawn out argument with anyone, but many people here do go FAR past an infatuation, liking, or even loving..

The things some of us do surrounding Michael is no where near what we would do for a loved one, family member..

These are just examples: Not saying if you have/do some of these you are obssessed but think about if you would do the same for your family/significant other..

1) tattoos.. Any tats of your friend, family.. etc??
2) Would you hang large posters of your brother or other fam member up?
3) Do you find yourself emulating a loved ones gestures, and manurisms on a daily regular basis??

Just to name a few, now I am guilty aswell to some obssesive behaviors.. I'm at the point though where I recognize it, and am trying to control it..

I will tell you I had MJ everywhere in my room.. I had to ask myself, where is my families pictures?? Do I have anything even representing GOD in here.. NO!! It was just MJ..

many fans build shrines.. (DONT CALL THEM SHRINES) but that's what it is.. pics and posters all over the room, walls all dect out of MJ..

That is losing your identity in someone else.. It is PURE idolitry.

Instead of golden statues- it's posters, clothing, and various memoralbelia..
 
it's as much a choice as it is to have other friends or lovers in your life. it's chemistry. something clicks and at first is fascination, and you want to know everything about them, you dig them. its no different other than Michael is not physically in the life of a fan, but we put him physically in our lives when we purchase his music or when we buy things with his image like magazines, posters, t-shirts, etc. if we surround ourselves with Michael things its the same as surrounding ourselves with photos of others in our lives. when they physcially are not there, they still are for us cause we hang their images on our walls or have them on our desks, nightstands, etc in picture frames. the attraction is not a choice, that's chemistry - the vibe is good - we want to know more - so we choose to join forums, read articles, watch interviews - we choose to put him physically in our lives by surrounding ourselves with his image, his music. so the answer is no, it's not a choice that we are drawn to him - but yes it is a choice - to include him in our lives.

as to what others -- they do it too - maybe not Michael Jackson, but they have someone or something they are attracted to they include in their lives the same way - it might be another famous person - or it might be a sport - like football, golf, etc. so they watch every competition where their fave player is playing cause it gets them - they have their paraphenalia (sp?). don't let them bother you. just like golf might bore you to tears but does it for them -- you're just wired differently than them.
 
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