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Is flirting cheating?

Chanya

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If you're in a relationship but flirt with other people, just light-hearted innocent flirting with no consequences or no agenda, can that be considered cheating?
 
I think it all depends on what you are doing. However, in general I don't think it's very respectful of your relationship. Flirting sends mixed signals and can get you in to stick situations. I say it's best to just steer clear if you are truly in a happy relationship with your partner.
 
I think you're right. It's just I have a problem. When I talk with people of the opposite sex who look good and I smile and be nice like I always do (I think I look OK and so do some of the people I meet and talk to) it's just hard not to come off as flirty. All I do is smile and be social and I love my life and I'm confident about how I look, and it just automatically develops into a flirty kind of talk. I love my boyfriend but I can't switch off my personality and be rude just because some other person looks nice and is nice too. I don't know if I make any sense.
 
Chanya said:
If you're in a relationship but flirt with other people, just light-hearted innocent flirting with no consequences or no agenda, can that be considered cheating?
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I tend to think it's up to what your significant other and you think!
 
I would say its not very respectful to the person your with. You have to think if you would mind it if your boyfriend was flirting.

I wouldnt say its cheating though.
 
Chanya said:
I'm interested in what others think!
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yeah I understand but in a relationship it's to me two making the rules... some decide it is cheating to them... some decide it's ok... so what I'm saying if you're in a relationship better talk about these things with your significant other... cuz then it simply doesn't matter at all what anyone else thinks.

Then again I'd decide that upon my very own feeling also... when I feel like aheeeem here could be something wrong with what I'm doing, then I better do not do it... if I go on although feeling it's wrong... then I am cheating whatever I'm doing.

Also if my boyfriend tells me, I can't stand when you're like this or that with other guys... and I'm still doing it and hiding it from him... then it's cheating too.

Usually one inner voice can tell someone pretty clear.
 
what Mechi said..it only matters what you and your guy's thoughts on the relationship on what cheating is, only the both of you make the relationship rules.
personally i dont want to think flirting is cheating. but if your man is bothered by this then you should probably sit down and figure out a way for you to tone it down some. otherwise decide what you going to do next if thats part of your personality.
 
I'm not asking because I'm looking to justify it, because I sincerely feel like I'm not doing anything wrong. What's wrong with a smile and a sparkle in the eye? I would never dream of cheating on my man, that is just something I can't live with. So as long as I know and respect those boundaries, I don't see a problem. I'm curious as to what others would feel if their partners talked to people of the opposite sex in a way that could be understood as flirting?
 
It doesn't sound like you are actually doing anything wrong but you should have a talk with your partner if you feel like it may be a problem. Establish the rules. Make things clear. Things like this are very important in a relationship. Some people aren't bothered by much and others are quite the opposite.
 
Jona said:
It doesn't sound like you are actually doing anything wrong but you should have a talk with your partner if you feel like it may be a problem. Establish the rules. Make things clear. Things like this are very important in a relationship. Some people aren't bothered by much and others are quite the opposite.
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I don't even see it as flirting, I just have a smile and a sparkle in my eye when I talk to people and I can understand if someone gets the wrong signals. I've even done it when he has been around, I don't know if he doesn't pick up on it or if he simply doesn't mind or if he does infact mind. I don't know if it's a good idea to bring up the topic if it never was an issue for him in the first place. I would just be making it an issue by bringing it up. I don't feel guilty, but if he feels it's wrong, I think I may feel some guilt over it.
 
it's great to be nice, friendly, have that sparkle etc. However i think it crosses the line if it actually gets to the point where the other person really believes that you are into them and they could "have you" if they wanted. For example, my husband can be nice and sweet, but the only time it would hurt me would be if i thought the woman he was nice to actually thought he was really into her and wanted her..then i would feel like he disrespected me and let her disrespect me also. It would make me feel like, if she knew he was married, that she thought he was more into her than his wife. A man is more attractive to me when he shows loyalty and strength to the one he is with. A quick ego fix is all too easy. A woman i know is the most beautiful person, inside and out, she always has a big smile and laugh, is warm to everyone, and men LOVE her. But she can do all this and never ever ever make you think that she is flirting, she's just cool, fun, happy and beautiful. I think it's great to be like that because she never makes anyone think she has a "romantic" interest. So i think you can be both, have that "flirty" kind of personality but as long as it isn't misinterpreted then it doesn't do any harm.

gee...look at me writing an essay!!! haha
 
Well, I think most people just find it charming, as I'm very proud of my bf and show him off most chances I get, so I don't think many people see it as an oppertunity. At least I hope not. What's wrong with a little charm? I like charming people, so I try to be charming too.
 
well like everyones saying, cheating is best defined by the people who are in the relationship.
hmmm my opinion is that what ur doing isn't counted as cheating IF you tell him that u do that. just ask him if he finds himself doing that to other girls, or checking girls out, and then tell him that u do it too. then its totally not cheating and its a good thing for ur relationship to be able to be so open :D
 
Well, what would you think if your boyfriend was acting the same way you do, but with other girls? Would you get mad? If yes, then I guess you shouldn't do it yourself.
 
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