Hi! I just read your post and this thread and had some thoughts
I greatly respect and admire Mr. Jackson, maybe a little too much. Ik, ik, I'm working on not idolizing him.
So this may be unpopular on this forum, but I think it's ok to idolize Michael. Sure, you don't want to idolize him to the point of dehumanizing him, but to profoundly admire him and look up to him makes sense to me. He was an exceptional being in a number of ways. Also, I think with any artist, or public figure, you can take what is meaningful and leave the rest behind. Some people only care about the music and that's perfectly fine. Many also care deeply about the man, which makes sense too. Either way, if you find something about him admirable or inspiring, idk that you need to put the asterisk of *but he was only human next to it. Of course he was! That goes without saying. But, again, he was exceptional. Exceptional people merit admiration. Most of us are quite mediocre it turns out lol
Anyways, my parents seem to always be hating and saying negative things about him. I know he is innocent, but they refuse to listen to reason. I said something about them listening to tabloid headlines and they said that only people who idolize him use that to "brush off" what he did. This is just for anybody who feels like helping me out, and please, no hating on my parents. Love you appleheads!
I'm really sorry to hear your parents are, for now, very closed off to him. Idk how old you are or if you live with your parents or not. The answer to those questions determines a lot. But there's a few things to keep in mind.
No matter how old your parents are, they were likely exposed to such a ridiculous onslaught of media bias against Michael that it's legitimately very difficult for them to unpack it now. I'm in my mid-30s and became a fan just 3 years ago. When I first came across Michael I was extremely open to him and largely forgot the allegations were even a thing. But as soon as I started consuming content about him so many negative memories came flooding back. Anyone who was alive in the 90s/2000s was incapable of avoiding the barrage of attacks he faced from all directions. Obviously people who were fans did their part to know the truth, but if someone wasn't already a fan, they were likely to buy into the garbage. I did a bit back then, too. So to some degree, it's not your parent's fault. They are a product of the collective anti-MJ culture.
But that said, it's not really an excuse anymore in the age of the internet. Most people don't have a reason to second guess whatever view they have on MJ until a fan enters their lives lol. But it really sucks when you become a fan and your parents (or anyone) diminishes him. Or really anything you care so deeply about without hearing your perspective on it too. So I am sorry that you're facing this!
In my opinion, if you are fairly young and live with your parents, you really only have two options.
1) if your parents are open to learning about MJ, consider watching the Square One documentary with them. It's imperfect, but I think it's one of the strongest and most easily consumable pro-MJ documentaries we currently have. And let's face it, most people would rather watch a documentary than research something themselves, or listen to the views of a loved one haha. But seriously, it helped me when I was becoming a fan and very confused. Beyond Square One, Leaving Neverland: The Aftermath from Jin Chohan is also an excellent doc.
2) if your parents are not open to such a thing, I suggest you minimize your efforts to persuade them. It will only drive you mad. Just avoid engaging about him with them as much as possible. If you live with them, take comfort in the fact that you won't always. If you don't, well, take comfort in that entirely lol.
remember that it can be very, very hard for people to believe in MJ's innocence. Not necessarily because of MJ himself, or the circumstances of the allegations. But because to actually believe he was innocent means you have to accept two very upsetting things: that the media is not trustworthy and that people are capable of ruining each others lives for money. These premises seem obvious to a lot of people, but most of us *want* to believe there is justice in the world, as well as good people. To believe MJ was extorted and his life was destroyed for no reason but greed and cruelty is to accept living in a different kind of world. For some people that is just too much to handle. So I genuinely think that is at the heart of some people's resistance to seeing Michael's side. I know that, in spite of my own hardships, I really struggle to accept that the world is an unkind and untrustworthy place. Fully committing to Michael's innocence has required me to alter my worldview a bit and it's tough.
it may not get better with your parents, but it should get better in other relationships. As I said, I'm in my mid-30s and became a fan only 3 years ago. So I was a well established adult when I confronted all of this. I'm an exceedingly passionate and excitable person so the world at large around me cannot avoid coming into contact with my love of Michael Jackson lol. But I can honestly tell you that almost every single person in my life has embraced my love for Michael. No one I actively know was a fan before me. Almost all of them, including my parents and friends, have asked me my thoughts on the allegations. But I simply assured them that I have done my research and feel confident in his innocence. While they may still be curious about this from time to time, they have mostly let it go. I have had more than one person in my life say "I know you and so I know you'd never support him if there wasn't a good reason." In fact many people I know have told me simply seeing my fandom has changed their mind about him because they respect me enough to trust my point of view as factual. On that note, there is only one person in my life who consistently and repeatedly insults Michael and insists to me that he was a "monster." I realized a huge part of my fury at this was about the outright disrespect he was indirectly hurling at me by believing I could be so easily duped, or that I did not first research before claiming Michael's innocence. But then I started to evaluate my friendship with this person and it occurred to me that there has been a long history of disrespect in different ways. In fact, their dismissal of Mj actually helped me see that it was part of a pattern of diminishing me in other ways. I found that fascinating and disturbing. But it's helped me reevaluate why I've kept this person in my life at all.
None of this is to say that anyone who doesn't believe our view of Michael doesn't respect us as people. That would be an over simplification. As I mentioned above, it is very complicated when it comes to Michael Jackson. He was so famous that the entire world thinks they know him. However, I do think there is merit in considering what it might mean in a particular relationship if whoever we are talking to is completely unwilling to engage with our perspective. That is a valid thing to consider when it comes to any topic, not just Michael. It's at least worth examining a bit.
My point is that even if your parents aren't supportive, I am confident that if not yet, but eventually, you will have people in your life who do support you. Maybe they will even become fans after you expose them to him! My family has really warmed toward him and have many started listening to his music and have even attended MJ events with me. They are casual fans, but still. It makes a difference. In the meantime you can find your MJ community online and maybe turn some of those contacts into real friendships!
sorry for such a long message! It's been awhile since I've been on the board and I am easily carried away. But I hope some of it is helpful!
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