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I was fine until just now

Angie85

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I was doing fine, I was doing good - life went on. I was coping with it all very well. And then I saw all the plans to go to the funeral and the address to send gifts and letters to. I'm so broke, I don't even have the money to send a letter in time. I will miss my last chance at in some way physically telling Michael I adored him and will miss him. And suddenly I'm just really sad. The last chance, and I just can't have it.

I feel so selfish for feeling that way because really I've been fine, and I've been praying for his family. But it just hadn't hit me that I would be sort of "forced" to consciously not pay respects to Michael in person for that last time, last chance. And it kind of hurts.

I'm sorry I just needed to share that.
 
No you haven't missed your chance and don't feel bad. Michael's spirit has left his body, he is not there in LA, he is in heaven. I believe he knows how we all feel, he can see and hear everything now where he is.
 
Rockin. said:
No you haven't missed your chance and don't feel bad. Michael's spirit has left his body, he is not there in LA, he is in heaven. I believe he knows how we all feel, he can see and hear everything now where he is.
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Thank you *hug* that actually comforted me a lot. You're right. And when the time is right and I have the money, I will visit wherever his memorial will be. Until then, prayers and love will do. Thank you :)
 
you shouldn't feel bad about not being able to go. Exactly what Rockin said. Right now Michael is everywhere. It's not like he'll know you're there at Neverland, being sad and missing him. He'll know you're being sad and missing him wherever you are.

i don't think i would like to go even if i could. just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach, however i know i will still be glued to the tv/computer to watch it..
 
Rockin. said:
No you haven't missed your chance and don't feel bad. Michael's spirit has left his body, he is not there in LA, he is in heaven. I believe he knows how we all feel, he can see and hear everything now where he is.
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That is so true my dear friend, he is an angel now, he can hear us and feel all our love , no matter where we are. I miss you Michael, I miss you so much.
 
I guess I just feel such a need to "show physically" how much he meant to me, by being part of the group of fans who are going to be there. I'm going to save up and go to whatever memorial spot there will be as soon as I can.

I guess I'm feeling the same desparation as most people - I just want him to know how loved he is.
 
((HUGS)) angie... i wish i could go too, but i am in same boat as you. it is ok tho. Michael is everywhere now, not confined to where the event is. you can pay your respects in whatever way or ritual you choose, and he will be there and will know it. and will be just as good to him. from how i see him, he was most impressed with simplicity and never fussed with public displays. what was true is what he cared for. some people who can and will attend do not have the same heart for him you do, it is like a one last show kindof thing. that would not bless him. even if your way of paying respects is simple as lighting a candle and saying a prayer, that will set his heart alight and he will know it and know its true. is ok. ((HUGS)). he loves those most who love him true.
 
Hon, don't feel selfish! Michael wouldn't want you to get yourself into financiel troubles just so you can pay him respect in person at the funeral. I really understand that doing something 'psysically' can help you give closure, but it doesn't have to happen today. You've got all the time in the world to visit his resting place, write a letter or to send flowers.

Even though you might no be able to send it, I would recommend you to write your letter regardless. I feel Michael is still with us in spirit, with his family, his friends and every single fan walking this planet. He knows you adored him and he knows you miss him. Doing something psysically might feel to you as prove of everthing you're feeling, but with Michaels soul still being with us, he doesn't need any proof. He knows! Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do, it's perfectly understandable. Take care ok!
 
Michael will always be with you - when you're feeling sad and want to remember him, just put on your fav track (if it's a ballad then put on something upbeat).
 
Thank you all so much. I'm crying right now because I'm just so moved. I really do need to believe that he can feel that I love him and miss him. As a child I always thought "When I'm older I can see him live, be near him, show him how much I love him" but that day never came. That day was supposed to come in London this summer. I don't want him to feel like I wasn't praying for him or supporting him because I couldn't physically be there before, and can't physically be there now.

I work at an organisation that builds children's hospitals and orphanages in the Third World, and up to now I have been street fundraising - but now I've decided to save up to go to Africa, and help with my own two hands, as a way to honour Michael and express that love. But it will still take a lot of saving money, and it will take long, but I will do it.

Bless you all! If you're going to the viewing/funeral, please tell him about the people who couldn't come. I will be thinking of you all and Michael the entire time.
 
I've been feeling so angry and upset today as well
My family just dont want 2 understand, i feel like they think i need to ""close this part of my life" Been a fan all my life ...but its so hard for me too, i just cant :(
 
Awwwww Angie you've been so helpfull in the other thread... you have given more for Michael than any money could buy... you are giving and you're there for him in the way you're here for his fans! And I know he knows!!! He's here! He's with every single fan, so in a way you've helped him personally!!!!!! So please do not feel bad!!!!!!
 
yes Im feeling the exact same.

I was completely fine until now.

Now im feeling physically sick.

I don't really know how to deal.

I dont even know if I can bare to watch the funeral. I can't say goodbye to michael...i really can't (no pun intended).

(sigh)
 
Mechi said:
Awwwww Angie you've been so helpfull in the other thread... you have given more for Michael than any money could buy... you are giving and you're there for him in the way you're here for his fans! And I know he knows!!! He's here! He's with every single fan, so in a way you've helped him personally!!!!!! So please do not feel bad!!!!!!
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That is the sweetest thing, thank you so much. Let's honour Michael with love and understanding for each other, not wasting even a moment on the people who chose to miss out on how lovely he was and is.

J5master - I don't know if I'll be able to watch, either. I'd probably only be able to do that with someone who feels the same way.
 
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