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i want to ease the pain.....

Soso Deaf

Soso Deaf

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normally, something like this would be put in another part of the board....im ASSuming (shamika) that it is fitting, maybe for today only, b/c of the circumstances.

some of us are watching, some of us didn't, it's been turned off now. mj is being laid to rest. some are having a hard time each day, others are dealing w/ their grief and finding ways to move on....meaning, some are doing better than others.


us mods, we're human too...or so i'd like to think (*ducks from trish*). we have our ups and downs...

we can be snarky or pissy (me) or nice (everyone else) or downright in no mood (me again). but we're here cuz we luv ya....so cue my gosh dang point already, right?

it was raining today. i live in a part of the states where rain is not so common. i got ready for work, got my son ready for daycare, and we went to the atm. it was still dark outside and again, rainy and cloudy.

i took a picture of my poop cuz he's goofy in the car. hoping there'd be enough light from the dome, i took two pics. neither came out. i was frustrated so i was about to back out when i saw my mj innocent lanyard from the trial. sometimes i like to be funny so i made mj dance. told him i'd miss him but i knew he was watching us.

innocentchain.jpg


i tried one more time to take a pic of zac. closed the phone and drove away. i sent it to my email and then was gobsmacked. as dark as it was, as rainy and damp....a light did shine through. i have the mj logo on my car......the light is right on the logo, the logo is above z's head....

now im not one for 'is this a sign' but duuuuuuuude....lawd hammercy on a day like today, when i feel like i feel, when so many that i love (all of y'all stinky butts included) are feeling like bleh, maybe it could've been.

so for the fans who are down about not being at the trial, or who couldn't be at the memorial or didn't get in, or are mad u cannot say goodbye by seeing him at th eholly terraces....he is all around u.

his love is the air we breath...his innovation is in the music we listen to....his steps are the dances we now see....his perseverence is splattered all over music today....but the most important thing he ever did in his life...his three children are shining examples of just how good a person can be and just how much he cared for them as well as the world.

so keep michaeling....help those in need...if even just a dollar or a kind gesture or a smile...kill them w/ kindness...

us here...we're all family. race, gender, religion, location...none of that matters... if im with and ur without....can i truly be happy? is not a part of my soul crying b/c of that? whether i realize that or not, i'm not with.

so here's the pic....i hope u all can move forward. that doesn't mean forgetting. that means loving and remembering.
zzmjcarsign.jpg


here's something from ma gurls...talin and miss A...made me cry but i hope it'll bring some comfort.


"Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you wake in the morning hush, I am the sw......ift, uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft starlight at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die." Mary Frye. 1932Rea
 
Awww, that was beautiful. Yea, we have to be strong and keep his legacy alive, but sometimes is so hard.
 
it's so very hard. each day worse than the one prior...cuz realize, his kids and family are doing things and they don't get to share it w/ him. but if we believe, if we truly think about mike...he IS the child in the moon (shaddup brooke...u didn't come up w/ that) and he is finally at peace. they can't hurt him now.

he was never meant for this world. we all knew that. too kind, too loving, too giving, too talented...too amazing. so i feelblessed to have known him and his family and their music since i was in utero
 
Oh that was so beautiful
I love the pic of Zac so precious

btterfly046.gif

Don't weep at my grave,
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance in the air.

I'll be singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,

Playing tag with the wind,
While I'm waiting for thee.
 
Thanks Soso - that was beautiful (it took be a bit longer to read because everything is blurry through the tears)
 
That was a lovely post. :cry: I'm lost for words...I don't think any of us were prepared in any way for this. He truly was too good for this world. The thing that's killing me is what his kids are going through..I feel so bad for them. It must be so hard. This is all just too much. Sorry to go on, it's probably not even the right thread.
 
your baby is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeee!!!
 
Oh SoSo, that was beautiful.
Me too am VERY misty right now, after seeing Michaels beautiful ceremony.
It was lovely to see Michael's children place that crown on top of his casket.
"One day, the pain will ease"
Dawn
 
I woke up today feeling so depressed...and I see there are "burial pictures" but I don't want to see them, I'll never look at them the same way I never watched the memorial. I need something to cheer me up because I'm about to cry again...that was a cute picture of the baby boy, children are so innocent and sweet they don't know the pain in this world... I can feel it in the air
 
Thank you soso deaf for that beautiful post
 
That was beautiful, brought tears to my eyes again.

Your baby is beautiful :)
 
Thanks for that, I know what you say is true, but It still hurts so bad. I mean I really dont' think I will ever get over this. I have never in my Life felt like this.

I just don't know anymore.

Thank you for those beautiful words.
 
HUGS TO EVERYONE!!

Wow, thank you for your post.

When Michael died, I felt a part of my heart and soul suddenly rip out.

It was a sudden, brusque and violent reaction to his death. My mother & brothers worried for days/weeks about me. I locked my self up and cried and cried.

Then - I got fired from my job because I was watching Michael's memorial service on the internet.

Getting fired & Michael dying made me a living mess for weeks. But I cried it all out. I mourned & grieved him like no one - not even my grandmother whom I adore.

But I got all the pain out. Sometimes it comes back - but I'm ok now for the most part. I have an ancestral altar and Michael's picture and candle is right next to my grandmother's. I talk to him like I talk to my "abuela". I have a candle for him next to my ancestral candle.

Anyway - I want to keep this positive but know that even though I sound cheery, I'm also hurting too. But I know that Michael want us to make something of this. He'd want us to do something positive in our own way for someone else.

Ok, I'm done - now I'm verklempt.

Thank you for sharing your son's picture, so cute!!!
 
la shukran alawejieb....my spelling sux

but mike would want us to smile right now. u know the most amazing thing to see, no matter where you're at? a flower that grew between cracks in the cement. u know how hard that is to do? what a real life every day miracle.

miracles are all around us, we just need to take our blinders off and notice them more often. smile more, love more, and always have a song in ur head.

do u know how much happier you'd feel if u smiled for no reason? happy begets happy and it'll rub off and sooner, rather than later, we'll all be singing a happy song.

look...we loved and supported him while he was here. we did that in life...so we have no choice but to remember, cherish, spread the word, and honour him in death. u are not dead until u are forgotten and that will never happen.
 
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