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I still havent seen the memorial

I know it is hard to believe that Michael is gone. I taped the memorial service and I don't even dare watch it. Let alone touch the video tape that I taped the memorial service on. From when CNN was showing it. I still remember spending that day in bed asleep trying to make that day go by as fast as possible. And when I wasn't asleep I was really, really crying over Michael. Just touching that video tape is enough to make me really cry over Michael again. Which is why I had put that video tape in a place where I won't touch it. I don't think I can ever watch that memorial service. To see Michael like that. And to see his children especially Paris crying over thier daddy. Just thinking about that memorial service now is starting to make me cry again.
 
I've only watched it once even though I taped it... I cant bear to watch it again :cry:
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
I know it is hard to believe that Michael is gone. I taped the memorial service and I don't even dare watch it. Let alone touch the video tape that I taped the memorial service on. From when CNN was showing it. I still remember spending that day in bed asleep trying to make that day go by as fast as possible. And when I wasn't asleep I was really, really crying over Michael. Just touching that video tape is enough to make me really cry over Michael again. Which is why I had put that video tape in a place where I won't touch it. I don't think I can ever watch that memorial service. To see Michael like that. And to see his children especially Paris crying over thier daddy. Just thinking about that memorial service now is starting to make me cry again.
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Your words made me cry. I totally understand how you feel.
I dont dare to watch it either. Its just too heartbreakin.
 
I haven't watched it yet. I know I won't be able to handle it. Certain things like this still trigger off my anxiety.
 
I have it on DVD... and I've yet to watch it. It is not an easy memorial to watch. It sends me back to the shock state just thinking about it. Once is enough to see.
 
the memorial WILL give you closure. It might be overwhelming but it will do that. Trust me.
 
I saw it when I was on holiday in Berlin. Having my friends with me certainly helped me from turning into a quivering wreck. We were all in tears though when Paris spoke. I haven't been able to see it more than once though. Once is enough. I cant take seeing it again now.
 
I can't watch this memorial... the speech of his daughter... makes cry again. I feel horrible, is like 25th again! I just wanted to die... I wanted all the negative things inside me to just go away, because it just hurts so much inside. :weeping:
 
I watched it several times.
I have the HD version which makes it even harder because it looks exactly like the day it was on live-tv.

It gave me some sort of closure but I think it'll be hard to watch forever.
 
mier said:
I watched it several times.
I have the HD version which makes it even harder because it looks exactly like the day it was on live-tv.

It gave me some sort of closure but I think it'll be hard to watch forever.
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How could you have handle watching it that many times? Where I couldn't watch it the first time. I only seen little tiny bits of the memorial service. And that was enough for me not to ever want to see it again. Just even thinking about that memorial service or seeing any pictures from that service is enough to make me cry again. I can't even handle listening to any of the songs that was play at the memorial service. Especially that Stevie Wonder song and Man In The Mirror. I used love that song of Michael's so much. But now that song is forever tainted for me.


thesmellofcoffee I'm sorry that I made you cry.
 
I've only watched it twice and the second time was worse than the first. I watched it live and then about a month later I watched it on youtube. I had to pause it many times. Every time I see Paris go up on that stage and hear her little speech, I lose it. She definitely showed the world just who Michael is with those short words. Although, I don't think I can bare to watch the memorial again for a long time.
The funeral was also just as hard to watch because it was more final.
 
I've only watched it once and I don't think I can watch it again.
 
I saw it live. I could handle myself until Paris came and said those hearbreaking words. I cried and cried and cried. The next month, I DID dare not to hear or read or mention Michael and Paris, and kept sad and crying whenever I remembered Michael. That's really hard to see it again.
 
i watched it once too live. i cried so much my eyes burned all night...i guess i got some kind of closure out of it...but it was so painful..like physical pain sometimes..it felt like their was this huge hand squeezing my heart..i hated that feeling;(
 
of all the things regarding Michael's death, I cried during the memorial the most. I was literally screaming crying. I warn you that it is very touching although it can be seen as a good thing, if you feel sad and you just need the pain to come out...
 
I was actually there in staples.
my mum taped it here in norway though but I wont watch that because when you do watch it once it's not only enough but it does HELP you to understand and realise that yes he is indeed "gone" even though it hurts:cry: now..I only said, it HELPS.. it's definaltely not healing. I was sitting there crying HYSTERICALLY through the whole thing and espeically when Mj's coffin came in and came out at the end..omg :cry: I was actually down on my knees crying then! and this girl came and hugged me!
we were all one family in there.it was so damn hard!!
 
stineLOVESmichael said:
I was actually there in staples.
my mum taped it here in norway though but I wont watch that because when you do watch it once it's not only enough but it does HELP you to understand and realise that yes he is indeed "gone" even though it hurts:cry: now..I only said, it HELPS.. it's definaltely not healing. I was sitting there crying HYSTERICALLY through the whole thing and espeically when Mj's coffin came in and came out at the end..omg :cry: I was actually down on my knees crying then! and this girl came and hugged me!
we were all one family in there.it was so damn hard!!
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ah, you were in there awww...i can only imagine the emotion in there in person! i probably would have gotten more upset actually being there.... but, i'll say the memorial was beautiful even though sad. =(
 
Yeah my brother got the band to get in the Staple center. I had no luck so I stood at home watching in disbelief.
Staple Center is 5 minutes away from me...
 
I regret watching it :(
But I was at home and I knew I could watch it on CNN so I didn't dare to ignore something like that.
When his coffin came it was just...I don't remember most of the memorial.
 
Marilyn Monroe said:
ah, you were in there awww...i can only imagine the emotion in there in person! i probably would have gotten more upset actually being there.... but, i'll say the memorial was beautiful even though sad. =(
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I bet it was hard wathcing it on tv but yes like you said. BEING there was..some kind of.. out of body experience. It just felt like I was floating around..not existing..I was just NUMB..and I could not believe what I was seing infront of my eyes!! I was on the 10th row from stage, next to stage.so the jackson family was in my view.
It was hard to watch paris sitting there and sqeezing MJ's glove from time to time:cry:
and to see his coffin there right infront of me..oh god. I was not prepared for it at all!
I didn't even care about the huge artists there. All I could see was that coffin. and the family grieving with the rest of us!
 
seeing it once is enough for me....I cried through the whole thing...Paris finished me.....The realization that Michael is no longer here is a tough one to take...however ...it is reality..:cry:
 
dangerous_88 said:
of all the things regarding Michael's death, I cried during the memorial the most. I was literally screaming crying. I warn you that it is very touching although it can be seen as a good thing, if you feel sad and you just need the pain to come out...
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Oh yeah me too.

Few days ago I was browsing my recorded programs on TV and I noticed the memorial was still there, I have no idea why but I started to watch it again.. it was a mistake, I started to cry a soon as Smokey started to speak, I couldn't and didn't even want to watch it longer. I was so sad the rest of the day.. but I will still keep it there, maybe I someday want to watch it again, I don't know..
 
^ yeah same happend to me too. I saw it live as well. I was silent like the whole time cause I couldnt believe it just yet, until Paris came up..it totally hit me. I aint seeing it no second time cause that one time was already hurtful enough.
 
I never want to see the memorial again, I can't even watch small clips of the memorial shown on other TV shows. I just.... I never want to see it again.

It's too sad.
 
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