I Almost Died Yesterday...

Severus Snape

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How's that for an interesting thread title? Well, it's true. I didn't mean for it to go about that way, but I reckon that's what I get for wanting a better slumber. See, when you're a chronic insomniac, you do whatever it takes to get at least a few hours of that beautiful sleep. Unfortunately, the only way I'm able to do that is by taking sleeping pills, which are not meant to be used past a few weeks, and which the body builds a tolerance to rather quickly, so that you need to take more to get the desired effect.

Well, yesterday wasn't such a good day, so I wanted nothing more than to just have the most glorious sleep in the universe, so that at least the day wasn't such a complete waste. Instead, I got over six hours or absolute Hell.

I did manage to get like, an hour and a half of very good sleep--which was unfortunately interrupted by a sudden urge to vomit--first sign of a dosage screw-up. I wasn't intending to do that, of course, and I thought maybe it was a stomach virus or something, but in hindsight I can see it was my body reacting to the meds. So, that was quite disgusting.

Apparently, that was followed by shaking and general 'jitteriness'. I stepped outside only to retrieve a paper towel with which to clean up the puke. I ran into some lady in the hallway who thought I was drunk [I wasn't, just highly sedated and exhausted, I guess.] So, she said something about fetching security, and that's what happened. I kept telling them that I didn't really need to go to the E.R. but they said I did, because of my shaking. So, after back-and-forth arguing, they decided that I should go, so I did.

I don't recall much of what happened, but apparently, I was completely incoherent [I remember being fairly coherent, though.] According to someone, I was just randomly changing subjects, and I kept talking about Michael (???) which I do not at all remember doing. Jeez, I must have been as high as a kite then. =/

Anyway, once we got back to the hospital, they hooked me up to an I.V. on both arms, and put an oxygen mask on me. They also had me strapped to the heart monitor, which apparently said that my heart was beating at 145 beats per minute, while resting (which highly deviates from the standardly accepted 60-80 bpm in the resting heart rate of an average adult.) So, really, I could have died of cardiac arrest right there and then--had it not been for that lady who got security. I honest to goodness didn't think it was that big of a deal, but if I was making no sense and talking about Michael and other random things, switching the subject every 5 seconds, and shaking--well, that pretty much sums up the experience.

So, yeah, that's my story lol. All that happened yesterday. I'll have to be more careful with my measurements in future.
 
Oh, my God, Mikage.... I 've been here in front of my PC entering poetry contests online, yet I've got this weird urge to log on back on MJJC, and I saw this thread title, and immediately assumed it was you!...

That's just horrible. :( Wow... How many pills did you take?... That's really not good, you could've died!..... This reminds of my best friend's friend, who unfortunately was high on salvia, and spoke incoherent things and she's almost convinced she got raped in the park where they found her. She has some mental problem which makes her unstable, but I remember her being admitted into a psychiatric institution shortly after Michael passed.. She was that shaken. She's taking treatment now, she's got much deeper issues than the Michael story.

But in your case, you just wanted to sleep, I suppose... Right?.. Yet you could've be gone. :( That lady was your guardian angel who saved you, I hope you realize that... Sorry, maybe I'm sounding tough and blaming you, but that was scary to read... I'm fond of you and.. that was tough to read. I actually dreamed of my best friend - if you can believe the coincidence... - that she got something, drugs and alcohol, I believe, I don't know, but she looked freaked out and terrible, and then I learned that she died. ... That's freaky, because I've started to dream of things that are either happening the next day, or close to happening. I'm one to have nightmares, but this time is different. ..

*Breathes*... Man.. does your family know about this, your brother, other friends?... Are you okay now?... Are your sleeping pills prescribed by a doctor?.. Please, tell me you're not going to be taking them by your own choice again... If it's insomnia, it has to be treated... Hope this doesn't have to do with depression also, because as a depression sufferer myself - just one step close to death in the August of 2009, I can totally understand you on this... I mean, you were told you mentioned Michael a lot, so this has to be something inner as well...

I'm here if you wanna talk. Don't know what else to say now, am this shocked.. Just please be careful..
 
145 isn't too bad. Once it gets into the 200's, then it's really dangerous. Mine usually goes up to 180 just from walking around.
Anyway, I'm glad you're okay. Take care of yourself. :huggy:
 
I am so glad you are ok...:hug:....please be very careful with those meds in the future. Bless that lady that called security and got you to the hospital.
 
I honestly don't know if I'm here. =|

I don't feel real. I'm sure this is something of a f---ed up nightmare. I can see things fine, and hear, and touch--but I don't feel anything. I feel lighter than air, almost as if this entire ordeal had been nothing but a dream. I don't know what is, or what isn't, in this twisted new reality.

~Ophelia.
 
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:( You are worrying me/us like that... Maybe you are dealing with an identity crisis.. it does seem that way... I'd say with depression too.. How is your friend doing..?...

take care?..
 
:( You are worrying me/us like that... Maybe you are dealing with an identity crisis.. it does seem that way... I'd say with depression too.. How is your friend doing..?...

take care?..

It's shock. My friend-- long story.
 
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I been viewing the forum off and on just to see what's all of u are doing i read your about three times i didn't know how to come at you but i hope i am not being rude Mikage let me tell u something baby girl don't u ever in your F@#% life time think of doing something like this again we all go through some pain and its hard to come by my love goes out to u especially my heart i will be sicken if there was a thread about your passing u hear me don't ever do that ish again u are better and stronger than that we all will hold our hands in spirit and pray for u to be heal from all troubles i love u dearly even thro i neve met u don't ever scare me like this again. Love u walks out in tears i am sorry y'all for those who know of me i do get emotional
 
You need to go for professional help! Talk with your doctor and ask him to send you to a good psychiatrist instead of those meds.
Help is out there! Please try to find it, simply cuz you're worth the effort!
All the best to you!
 
You need to go for professional help! Talk with your doctor and ask him to send you to a good psychiatrist instead of those meds.
Help is out there! Please try to find it, simply cuz you're worth the effort!
All the best to you!

Thanks for your concern, but I've been in the system for over a decade. It doesn't work.
 
Thanks for your concern, but I've been in the system for over a decade. It doesn't work.
It's not the system which has to work, it's you who has to make the system work for you. The system has to become your tool.
Like a bicycle or car which will bring you nowhere if you don't start it and do not direct it.
Do not give up on yourself please!
 
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