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Has just hit me like a ton of bricks

MJRockssMyWorld10

MJRockssMyWorld10

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that around this time last year was one of the darkest days iv
ever experience. I just remember my friend texting me
"Rach have you heard the newsMJ has died? xxx"
i actually replied to that text message with "Lol oh dont lie Adam xxx"
oh boy was i wrong.
About ten mintues later my mother was like
"Omg Rachel Michael Jackson is in hospital!"
Then thats when twitter, fracebook, the internet in general went down.
I sharnt go in to detail its a day i and many others would like to forget, but wont, cant.

I havent really mourned or listened to his music today.
Iv just felt lost, blank not knowing what to do or think.
Somthing just poped up on the internet that hit me like a ton of bricks
and actually made me realize that he died a year ago :| its so hard to belive that its actually facts. It feels so unrealstic.
I just keep playing the events of that night in my head.
how i sat up till all hours watcing the news listening to the radio and crying. i didnt really get any sleep my head was banging from the sniffing, my eyes sore and puffy from the crying and my voice all croaky it was unbelivable and possabley one of the biggest shocks iv ever had. ill never forget those words my faviourite local radio dj said "everyone is waking up this moring to hear the sad news that the king of pop michael jackson has died" for the half six news the sadness and expression in his voice. GMTV breaking the news and showing clips of him with that purple hat on
 
I know hun :hug: I am here for you :better: ....I have just posted a similar thread...cos it's just come on...when I listened to that song 'Hurt' thgat's it...I was feeling strangely calm and blank all day...very very odd...I am so sorry sweetie...I can only send virtual hugs and just tell you that I feel the same... it's so hard...when will it get easier :cry:
 
Hug for you, i am just crying, all alone and feel the same way as you. Im dont wanna celebrate right now, so sorry because i feel like.... crying, lay there in my bed. its now here almost 26 june. 23.34 exact so for me the day is almost over, but it doesnt feel that we because its there 9 hours earlier. So im not getting any sleep a guess...

wanna hugg you all sorry for so many words
 
Miss_star said:
I know hun :hug: I am here for you :better: ....I have just posted a similar thread...cos it's just come on...when I listened to that song 'Hurt' thgat's it...I was feeling strangely calm and blank all day...very very odd...I am so sorry sweetie...I can only send virtual hugs and just tell you that I feel the same... it's so hard...when will it get easier :cry:
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I no i posted it and i read yours you use the same phase "hit me liek a ton of bricks"
i was liek oh godi hope she dosnt read mine and think youve used my phase! lol.

And yer I feel the same, its really wierd. I mean the wayi feel is like how i would if it was family. I just dont know what to think, Iv been quite quite and thinkfull today.

I thought id come to terms with it, but obv i havent :(

And dont worry verbal hugs are fine :) :hug:
I hope it will get easier soon i really do. no one deseves to feel like this. xxx
 
Ingelief said:
Hug for you, i am just crying, all alone and feel the same way as you. Im dont wanna celebrate right now, so sorry because i feel like.... crying, lay there in my bed. its now here almost 26 june. 23.34 exact so for me the day is almost over, but it doesnt feel that we because its there 9 hours earlier. So im not getting any sleep a guess...

wanna hugg you all sorry for so many words
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Its ok :hug:
I know how you feel.
I stop and think all the time how a few weeks earlier a was
"Dad can I go and see MJ pweasee! its all i want for my 18th please :)"

Its horriable, but well get through it, we just need justice i think to start
"getting over" it xxx
 
Do you think justice will help? I mean maybe Michael doesnt see the world right now. Im so scared for that. Sometimes i wish he was secretly alive and will see how much he is loved. I dont no for sure, as nobody does, if there is a heaven or something. I would so much to no that he is seeing this, he would be so happy to see us loving him. And the badguys are suddenly loving him too so.. plz i hope you see this michael it would kill me if you arent.
 
Ingelief said:
Do you think justice will help? I mean maybe Michael doesnt see the world right now. Im so scared for that. Sometimes i wish he was secretly alive and will see how much he is loved. I dont no for sure, as nobody does, if there is a heaven or something. I would so much to no that he is seeing this, he would be so happy to see us loving him. And the badguys are suddenly loving him too so.. plz i hope you see this michael it would kill me if you arent.
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For me personal i think it will help, help turn a stone and "move on"
I know what you mean, about maby he doesnt see the world, but I think Michael would have yet another hidden talent for him to be able to do such a thing.

I remeber when he passed, watching the memorial, seeking the casket i was waiting for the thriller intro to start and just see this casket open and a glitter glove appear and him get up and dance to thriller.

I sercerly like to think hes alive, cause some days i dont even remeber hes passed as horriable that may sound.

:hug:
 
yeah i now what you mean. Its my biggest wish, that he somehow get to see this, all the love over the world right now.. singing crying hugging etc.. i hope so..
 
Laura_MJfan said:
same here - i've managed to not cry too much during today as my family would just think im crazy. Once im in bed and listening to him i know it will hit me.
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:hugs: excalty the same over here, in bed i know no one can see me
or judge its just me my ipod and the quilt xxx
 
dont have that problem, alone all day, but i started crying just hour ago, cant stop.. i have downloaded the bubbles untold story. but its no to hard.. huggs to you all in bed.. hope you can sleep
 
It's really strange but on the 25th I wasn't to bad I cried a little but I was on here so I felt okay but waking up this morning I haven't been able to stop crying. I am crying now I guess it has just hit me that it is a year now without him, God I miss him so much!!
 
MJRockssMyWorld10 said:
I no i posted it and i read yours you use the same phase "hit me liek a ton of bricks"
i was liek oh godi hope she dosnt read mine and think youve used my phase! lol.

And yer I feel the same, its really wierd. I mean the wayi feel is like how i would if it was family. I just dont know what to think, Iv been quite quite and thinkfull today.

I thought id come to terms with it, but obv i havent :(

And dont worry verbal hugs are fine :) :hug:
I hope it will get easier soon i really do. no one deseves to feel like this. xxx
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:hug: lol don't worry, I didn't even think that :hug: hope you are ok

Ingelief said:
yeah i now what you mean. Its my biggest wish, that he somehow get to see this, all the love over the world right now.. singing crying hugging etc.. i hope so..
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:huggy: That is what I hope more than anything...that he KNOWS how much we love, adore and miss him :cry:

Laura_MJfan said:
same here - i've managed to not cry too much during today as my family would just think im crazy. Once im in bed and listening to him i know it will hit me.
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That's the thing isn't it...having to grieve sort of in private because people don't understand.,...that makes it even harder. Thank god we have mjjc :heart: Hope you are alright Laura :hug:...crying is a great release...I felt like I would never stop on Friday...it was such a strange and sad day... :cry:
 
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