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Friend dilemma

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Hi guys!

Just wanted to talk about something that's been bothering me a while. I've had a close friend for a number of years. (we're both 24 year old girls)We met at school and then worked at the same place together. It's been about 7 years I'd say. We just had a lot in common and got on really well. At school, we became good friends and at work, we saw each other once a week. We werent the sort of friends who went out a lot and did loads of things together (as I did with other friends) but we spoke on the phone very often and the type of work we did meant we were constantly discussing things. I would go so far as to say she was the person I felt the most comfortable with and the most myself with. (You know what I mean.... with some people you put up barriers or don't show them your real self etc)

Anyway last year, we both ended up quitting our job in the same month. The thing is though, since then (its almost over a year), she hasnt made a single effort to call or meet up or anything. I know she's busy at times with family things, but I find it upsetting. I've called many times. Most of the time, she's not available, so I leave a message. She then texts to say she'll call me back, but never does. I thought she'd at least call on my birthday or christmas, but nothing.

At first, I didnt let it bother me, but now I'm quite hurt. I know its not intentional on her part, but I just feel like I don't mean much to her at all.

I'm confused as to what to do? Should I try calling again? Or just forget it and wait for her to make an effort?
 
dont get to upset :no: perhaps something has happened in her life :yes:
 
Don't get so upset. Some people, like me, don't remember people exist unless they have them right in front of them. It's not intentional--I suspect it's just a strong level of introversion on my part, and perhaps on hers as well. My mind is usually occupied with abstract processes and projects, and other such things, and if I don't see the people there, I completely forget they exist, but I don't mean to do any of it, and they still mean something to me. Perhaps she is the same?
 
mikagesouji said:
Don't get so upset. Some people, like me, don't remember people exist unless they have them right in front of them. It's not intentional--I suspect it's just a strong level of introversion on my part, and perhaps on hers as well. My mind is usually occupied with abstract processes and projects, and other such things, and if I don't see the people there, I completely forget they exist, but I don't mean to do any of it, and they still mean something to me. Perhaps she is the same?
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yes but she is trying to phone her quite often so it isnt something you can not ignore :no:and if it was wrong number someone would answer and say you got the wrong number :yes: although you got a good point in other ways to :yes:
 
sammichael said:
yes but she is trying to phone her quite often so it isnt something you can not ignore :no:and if it was wrong number someone would answer and say you got the wrong number :yes: although you got a good point in other ways to :yes:
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Maybe she forgot she phoned? I do that a lot too. I'm terrible at keeping up with people, especially when it's been long periods of time since I last saw them.
 
I don't know this friend of yours but I'm exactly the same. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. There's no hard feelings or anything, I just find it very difficult keeping up contact if it doesn't arise naturally (for example through work, or some social club).

I'm male, but if she's anything like me, I wouldn't let it bother you. Friendship isn't measured by the length of time since you last spoke.
 
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