Latest on MJJC

Flirting ;)

Staffordshire Bullterrier

Proud Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2004
Messages
5,603
Points
113
I'm asking it here, cause this is simply a great place to talk about anything. I've had several threads already where things got rather personal quite quickly and that's actually something that never happens often on other forums or even just in my life, and i mean...talking about it with friends.

So let's begin....i want this to be a fun thread, that is my intention. Laughter is great and very needed. I'm 27 years old, but i absolutely don't feel like that. And i'm very very lousy at flirting. Well...i think i am lousy, but i actually never really tried it at all. I seem to have problems with it. Maybe this is simply a 'thing' you either have got in you or not. I don't know. Not so long ago i was at this supermarket with a friend...and i don't know what he did...but it made the lady at the counter laugh and enjoy his presence, let's keep it at that. It definitely was him flirting.


Whenever i see a nice lady, i never really look directly at her...i have a problem with that. When it comes to these things i am FAR from a hero,LOL. I almost feel as if that's rude or simply not right, but that's nonsense, i don't have these eyes for nothing. ;) but to even think about flirting...i need to pass that 'stage' of at least looking a lady straight in the eyes. So i guess i'll go do that from now on, and crack a smile alittle more often...wouldn't hurt anyone.

A good example is that lately when i'm doing food shopping at the supermarket, it happened several times that two ladies(in total now,haha)
acted very friendly and i guess almost in a flirtatious way(is that a word).
Today again..this nice blonde lady and the way she greeted me and said hello and asked things...it's different than when other ladies ask those things. It would be good for me if i tried some flirting too...or at least....come out of my shell, the shell with big letters on it saying 'be careful,don't do too much' . I definitely do feel i do too little to
either spark up a conversation or simply say a simple thing to make a lady smile. I never had any trouble with that when i still had a girlfriend...about 1,7 years ago...but i do now.

So i guess i just want some advice...and i think i should ask the MJJC guys this, i don't know. But some advice would be good. No doubt there are all kinds of sites for this and probably even books...but it's more fun here :yes:
 
Just be confident i never hit on people because everyone is too good for me and always have Partners its as if the single person doesn't exist anymore! i've hit on people in the past some cases its been successful others not, best way to get someone to like you is to be Witty but not try to hard to be funny just come out with the occasional one liner it never fails :p
 
I don't bother either cus of fear of rejection and yeah cus it does feel like the single life almost doesn't exist anymore....
 
Just be yourself. Don't think too much about what you're doing or how you're doing it, or she'll be able to tell if you're "trying too hard". :)

And there are plenty of single girls out there feeling the same way about there being a lack of single guys... I'm one of them! lol
 
My friends always say that I am naturally flirty but I don't how/why (I am having to try and concentrate on what I am doing and how I am acting when I'm talking to a guy now as I have a boyfriend).

I think that lots of eye contact, smiles and giggles go a long way?? I wouldn't suggest that you giggle though :lol: Just be yourself, but be happy and smilie and make the lady feel that you want to be in her presence and that you want to make her smile and be happy.
 
Haha, this thread is sweet.

First off, I just want to say that whenever you need advice on girls, girls are the best ones to ask! ;)

A lot of people will tell you "oh just be confident! girls like confidence!", but I don't think this is fair. I myself have always been incredibly timid, and shyness tends to come across to some people as either aloofness or coldness or lack of confidence. Whatever. My point is, you can't force something like that. And if you try, it will come out awkward.

So my advice to you is eye contact. Not too much eye contact! A girl doesn't want to be stared down, haha! But eye contact that lingers just a second longer that normal says "hey, something about you interests me more than others".

Striking up conversation is usually the best way to go, I think. As long as she doesn't look to busy or like it's a bad time.
I find it helpful to start out with a compliment as well. Nothing too intense - don't be all "oh hay you have beautiful eyes you know". Just something simple like "I like your style" or "hey, cool jacket". Anything that isn't overly intense.

I hope this is a little helpful!
 
Oh man, flirting :D LOL I have been told I am a flirt before, just because I am the kind of girl who will talk and laugh with a guy and I smile a lot and I make a ton of eye contact. But I do that with everyone. I like eye contact I guess...LOL

Anyways, I used to be really shy about boys, and I didn't want them to know when I liked them. I always hid it and tried to keep it a secret, and would just lust after them in private. LOL But I found that if I put myself out there and I let boys know when I was interested, many times they were interested right back! It is much easier, and less heart aching, to put yourself out there and see what happens if you are interested in someone. When you just keep it inside you never know what happens, and you miss out on something good!

A good example of that: I liked this boy from the moment I put my eyes on him in 5th grade to the day he escorted me down the aisle during Graduation. I had it sooooo bad for him. We had always been friends, but never really anything more. I never told him I liked him myself, but I think it was a well known fact. We started to become really close friends the end of our senior year, and come to find out he had liked me since 5th grade also but was 'scared' that I didn't like him back so he just kept it to himself.

We missed out on a really good thing because both of us were afraid of being rejected, and we wouldn't have rejected each other at all!

So now that I'm sure that I got really, really off topic LOL Go ahead and flirt! Have fun with it! Girls usually love it if a guy is nervous about it, that means that he is sweet and sincere and isn't full of himself!! You will probably be more likely to score a date that way! Or if you are scared to ask for a date, go for it and do it anyways! The worst she can say is 'No' and if she does she wasn't someone you would wanna go out with anyway!!:)
 
There is nothing better than flirting! Maybe go to a nice low key bar or coffee shop and find a girl by herself that you think is cute and strike up a conversation. Conversation isn't too hard, ask what she is drinking and "do you come here often" line, girls love compliments, say something about her hair, what she's wearing. You need confidence mister!!! Spend a "spa day" a treat for yourself, go get a massage, your hair cut, go to Saks (do they have a Saks there?) and get a sales person to help you find what would look good on you. THEN, you go out and find yourself a girl. Just be yourself!


Edit: ohhh why don't you go to this, it looks really awesome. And I bet you would be some very interesting girls there, it would give you a chance to flirt with random girls too lol.
http://www.noorderlicht.com/
 
Last edited:
Oh man, I feel you! I think flirting is really supposed to be in your personality for doing it the right way. Havin' a hard time myself too, but I actually stopped trying since I just got nowhere. (Or well...maybe I didn't even tried the right way. :hysterical: )
Anyway, it's not something you can learn just that easy..ofcourse there are a dozen of books you can read but you can read them all but still need to get to that point YOURSELF. I really can't get eyecontact or say flirty things and stuff too, but actually being a MJ fan has helped me with accepting why I cannot do this....it's just me...I'm just shy, and I'm just different and proud of it. I can compare myself so much to Michael and the fact that he was adored by billions is a proof for me that you don't need to be defying towards people to actually get loved. Ofcourse he had his cheeky moments, but I can have those too.:cheeky:

What I'm tryin' to say is....first accept that you are not like all those others, that are flirting all the same way, be proud of your difference. Maybe it's more difficult for you, but there must be a way that you can get attention from girls and probably you are already gettin' cuz you said yourself that girls are flirtin' with you! So well, answer them and try to be nice and most important, be yourself cuz I found that's the most sexy thing a person can do!:wub:
 
I am a flirt apparently...i don't even realise it. Just build your confidence and it will come naturally to you! :)
 
personally, I find shyness a very appealing trait in a guy. I hate when guys are too full on cos I too am very shy and it just makes me uncomfortable!

I am glad I am not a guy though cos you're expected to make the first move and I tell you, I would NEVER have the courage to do that!

Yeah, I don't do the whole flirting thing. Single and at the moment, happy that way.
 
ooo this is a cute thread
hmm there are so many ways of flirting so i dont think its something u have or dont have. everyone has their own approach and it should just feel natural.

personally i like it if a guy has eye contact (not too much, but just enough to notice, like littlesparrow said) and also smiling is really important. i think the eye contact is mostly important when u say hi and introduce urself, and if ur asking questions from the girl. and u can look away during the other bits of the convo if its all too much to handle, plus its weird if a guy is staring at u in the eyes for so long. as for the smiling, doesnt have to be a big confident grin. shy smiles are just as attractive, if not more!
 
Here's what you do:

Stand right in front of her and yell "HOOOOOOOO!" While she's in shock, start dancing around her and jumping on cars.
(Thrusting motion may be a bit too much. You don't wanna scare her.)
 
CarinaT said:
Here's what you do:

Stand right in front of her and yell "HOOOOOOOO!" While she's in shock, start dancing around her and jumping on cars.
(Thrusting motion may be a bit too much. You don't wanna scare her.)
Click to expand...

Hey that's what i do!! It helps if im wearing a blue shirt as well ;)
 
I think avoid the chat up lines. Just smile.. cheekily even shyly, its cute. Be friendly, be yourself. Don't do anything too full on, make her feel comfortable.

I hate guys who are over confident and make it obvious they're trying to pick you up. It puts me off, I like to be intrigued. Thats what flirting should be, I think anyway, subtle, polite, gentlemanly.. not someone who just comes over and slaps ur ass lol! i'd slap him back in the face!
 
I for one like shy men who don't have the courage to look me in the eye and who become nervous when I enter the room and turn into total dorks :p
I find shyness to be absolutely delicious! much better than flirting, in fact I don't like flirting at all
 
littlesparrow said:
.........

So my advice to you is eye contact. Not too much eye contact! A girl doesn't want to be stared down, haha! But eye contact that lingers just a second longer that normal says "hey, something about you interests me more than others".

Striking up conversation is usually the best way to go, I think. As long as she doesn't look to busy or like it's a bad time.
I find it helpful to start out with a compliment as well. Nothing too intense - don't be all "oh hay you have beautiful eyes you know". Just something simple like "I like your style" or "hey, cool jacket". Anything that isn't overly intense.

I hope this is a little helpful!
Click to expand...

This is what I would say too! Find something about the girl you like or admire, and comment on it, a mild compliment, or ask a question about it Get a conversation going, with good eye contact, but not staring. Be interested in what she's saying.
 
snowhite said:
I for one like shy men who don't have the courage to look me in the eye and who become nervous when I enter the room and turn into total dorks :p
I find shyness to be absolutely delicious! much better than flirting, in fact I don't like flirting at all
Click to expand...
Well I can honestly say i'm like that. :blush:
 
Last edited:
snowhite said:
I for one like shy men who don't have the courage to look me in the eye and who become nervous when I enter the room and turn into total dorks :p
I find shyness to be absolutely delicious! much better than flirting, in fact I don't like flirting at all
Click to expand...

I like that too. Hate when guys are overconfident.
 
hehe, reading all this reminds me why I decided to stay single! :D

The honest truth, I know where I stand as a person when it comes to love and light.
A true believer in being a pure soul that can be trusted. I'm also a seeker of truth. Kindness and gentleness are my friends. Being real is always important in a world that loves to hide under a mask. I think love is such a wonderful thing when its real.

Unfortunately, I'm just so turned off by the common standard of "today's generation" that I honestly don't even want to bother and have even made good with a possibility I will be single for the rest of my life.
I'm not sad though. That's the strange thing. Maybe I should feel bad. But I don't.

It's such a dirty, cold world. At least in my vicinity. :p

The irony though, I love seeing others fall in love. I'm glad people can still do it sincerely. It's just not for me. hehe.

^_^
 
Nar said:
hehe, reading all this reminds me why I decided to stay single! :D

The honest truth, I know where I stand as a person when it comes to love and light.
A true believer in being a pure soul that can be trusted. I'm also a seeker of truth. Kindness and gentleness are my friends. Being real is always important in a world that loves to hide under a mask. I think love is such a wonderful thing when its real.

Unfortunately, I'm just so turned off by the common standard of "today's generation" that I honestly don't even want to bother and have even made good with a possibility I will be single for the rest of my life.
I'm not sad though. That's the strange thing. Maybe I should feel bad. But I don't.

It's such a dirty, cold world. At least in my vicinity. :p

The irony though, I love seeing others fall in love. I'm glad people can still do it sincerely. It's just not for me. hehe.

^_^
Click to expand...

You know what, you sound like a great person. So thoughtful and caring. I bet one day you'll meet the right girl out of the blue and forget you ever thought this way :)
 
Nar said:
hehe, reading all this reminds me why I decided to stay single! :D
Click to expand...
single life means loneliness
icon9.gif
 
In my opinion and lot of others, just be yourself, because at the end of the day if something were to escalate, you don't want to be pretending to be someone you're not.

I wouldn't say I flirt. I think it's just unintentional with me. I like to have a laugh and a joke with girls (obviously not being offensive). But as Thriller_MJ said to be witty. I'm a naturally witty person lol.
If I know a girl well enough, then opening up to her a little always helps IMO. I mean I've spoken to a friend just recently (we're reconnecting with each other again which is nice, long story) about Michael and I could just see in her eyes she could see my heartache.

I wouldn't say confidence is key because going up to a girl for the first time, I just hate doing, I hardly do it, because I don't want to make a fool of myself.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top