Finally something new in my life , could use some advice.

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

I was never the type to go out to clubs and such, but mainly because all my friends didn’t exactly live close by. And going out on your own..that's just not something i'd call fun. But since awhile now i know this girl, we are just friends and nothing but, but i started to hang out with her more and we recently hit town and checked out several clubs. One was a jazz-club and it was great, nice atmosphere,quiet and just cool. The music wasn't overly loud and thus you could still hear eachother. Something that wasn't possible in practically all the other clubs.

I've also never been a big drinker, hate beer and most alcoholic drinks i can't stand, except for a few, i learned that last week, haha. I also learned that i feel more 'loose' when i've had alittle bit of alcohol, i feel different and like i have more guts to do things, and that gives me a good feeling to be honest. However my friend warned me i shouldn't make a habit of this, she's probably scared that i'll go overboard with it, her mother was a huge drinker and eventually it went completely wrong, i think thats her fear for me..but that's not nessecary, i'm wise enough for that.

But when i have had some alcohol and i'm not 100% myself anymore, i feel much more happy and i forget all kinds of negative thoughts, i'd otherwise would have, and when i've had some drinks, that stuff is gone. I'll make sure that it won't grow to be a habit though..cause at the end of the day, i enjoy a normal drink much more than any alcohol.


I had alittle eye contact with a lady there, but i didn’t do anything with it. She was talking to her lady friend and glanced several times at me, but as i said..i am very new to these things and for a long time i haven’t been dating at all. I’ve seen plenty other lovely ladies, but i ain’t a hero when it comes to those things, i’m more like a chicken in that regard. But still, the next time this happens…i should do something, but what? Should i buy a drink and hand it to her?


I’m really on the lookout for a new girl, it’s been too long and i’m craving for a nice girlfriend again to be honest. I’m not too keen on dating sites so i need to find other ways. People told me 'dude don't go expecting to find a nice girl while going out, all of that will just end in a one night stand' but i find that nonsense, maybe in those clubs where you can't even talk to eachother, but in a nice comfy place like the jazz-club, i'm sure it would be possible to meet a nice lady there, talk alittle..etc. I just need to break the ice the next time something happens.

Either way, i'm happy with this 'new thing' in my life, only sitting at home ain't gonna work neither...it's good to be out the house now and then, drink alittle, loosen up alittle, all that. My lady friend told me that i really don't need to drink alcohol that bad to be good company, to be nice to talk to she said. Without any of that i was nice enough to talk to already according to her, that's always good to hear.

But anyway, in short..and i probably am gonna need this advice from my fellow dudes here . What are good ways to break the ice? You know..next time i see a girl glancing at me, what should i do?

 

[dance4life]

Uhh hard work... but of course that we can break the ice, and not with a cup of alcohol in hand, or with friends or alone, i prefer all be free, never i have strategy, i be myself, i think this is better, all the world have the capacity for have a converstation, if you want it ahead, come on!... if it don't work, is ok ... will have new chances, but need be yourself.. all have a special time! peace and love!

is a little reply.. i hope help, grettings!
if not.....

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

Hahaha funny picture. But it's not like i drink like a crazy idiot, cause for one i see no reason to do that and two...poor wallet .

 

[Severus Snape]

If you're going to buy her a drink, approach her first and offer to buy her a drink. This will give her the impression that you respect her right and ability to make decisions for herself (whether or not to accept your offer as opposed to being handed a drink), and it will tell you more about her (what kind of drinks she likes.) Imagine the horror if you were to buy her a drink she didn't quite care for--then, she'd be either forced to turn it down or else brave it and gulp the thing out of polite "obligation" to spare your feelings--either way, not a nice picture, and certainly not the impression you want to give. Moreover, with the concern over people slipping things into beverages as of late, she'd be in her right mind to reject any drink handed to her by a stranger--even something as innocent as a can of coke.

Offering to buy her a drink of her own choosing instead would allow her not only to decide whether or not she wants a drink, but to watch it being made as well, thus giving her peace of mind and allowing her to dedicate more of her social time to getting to know you.

Whether or not she accepts it, it's always a gallant gesture to offer to buy somebody a drink--and even if she says no, by asking, you've already broken a little chip off the ice between you. You need only proceed to break the rest of it with some light conversation. As a general rule, steer clear of any "charged" topics (politics, religion, etc). Since you are at a jazz club, you could research some things about jazz and talk to her about them, or else just give a general commentary about the music presently playing at the club. Better yet--ask her what she thinks about jazz altogether, or about the song presently playing. People love to talk about themselves--so give her the chance to do that instead of dominating the conversation.

I know alcohol is very popular as a social stimulant, and what you feel when you're under its influence is not at all uncommon. In fact, it is one of the most common reasons why people turn to drinking, especially socially. I wouldn't recommend you drink before you talk to her--if she notices you're drunk, or even a bit tipsy, she might be inclined to take what you're saying a little less seriously. Instead, just reinforce yourself with positive thinking and have a go--you can have a drink later, once you get the lady talking.

I've never used alcohol as a "social steroid," so to speak, so I can't really provide any firsthand experience about its uses that way--I've only cited what others who have used it as such claim. My primary use for it is as a mental escape stimulator--it makes it much easier to detach than without any chemical substance whatsoever. A bit of that occurs when you are a social drinker, I reckon--you want to detach from yourself in the current plane so that you can interact with others in the same world--a bit ironic, if you think about it, distancing yourself so you can be closer to others. I think a bit of mental self-sabotage is at hand when it comes to drinkers who drink for that reason--at the end of the day, you're making your social insecurities worse by relying on the alcohol as a crutch.

Anyway, I've given you my two cents on the matter.