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Emotional Abuse Help

Darvon1982

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How do I get help?

My ex-boyfriend, Now friend.... has been looking up information on the Internet and he thinks he is being emotionally abused. I have also looked emotional abuse up just now. I hate to say it, but I agree.

I realize I have a problem now. And I also realize that I was emotionally abused as a child. And/or seen my mom emotionally abused. Although I think she emotionally abused me as well.

I really want help. I still want things to work out between us, but I can completely understand if he doesn't want to be with me again.

Can anyone help me get help? I don't want to abuse him anymore. I also want him to recover from this.
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There's always the library. Any good sized library has tons of materials on almost anything these days. The library staff, usually even a designated staff member for questions in searching for material is always available. Plus, it's free.

If you have insurance or other health care options, talking with a professional certainly could be helpful. Not necessarily a psychiatrist, but a licensed professional in the field, another option.

I work in the health care field (RN-ICU), and ICU nurses are notoriously aggressive and bitchy with each other,to the point where some days can be emotionally draining not only from the care giving standpoint, but from dealing with your co-workers as well. I went to the local public library, explained exactly what kind of info I was looking for, and BINGO, she found at least 10 titles/books dealing with work relations in the health field, specifically nurse on nurse.

Finding and reading many of the books available didn't change my co-workers, but helped me to deal with them in a way that was professional instead of feeding into the ugliness.

This was just a suggestion, since personal advice on what you should do is really your decision. There is a wealth of info available through different sources, best wishes to you.
 
Dear Darvon,
Try contacting your local Department of Health & Human Sevices. They should be able to point you in the right direction to get the help you, your spouse, and family would need.
 
Emotional abuse is really hard... I mean, it's not always obvious, it certainly doesn't usually leave visible evidence, and it hurts like crap.

One place I worked at, the leader was emotionally abusive to the people she was there to help. It was a really bad situation, where basically the clients who were already broken, were given no chance to heal. One of the clients did against all odds, and ended up speaking up along with some of the volunteers and the leader was removed.

I think that the problem with having been emotionally abused is, the victim probably tends to cry foul earlier in the future... it won't take as much to cause pain, even if something is completely innocent, it can really hurt.

Darvon, I guess the best way really is to keep trying...
 
there's many different forms of "help" depending on what you're looking for. If your looking for counseling and money is tight, I'd go on the internet and find out if there are any doctoral-level clinical or counseling psychology programs in your area. most will offer free to low cost therapy with a student (don't worry they're supervised) and you can usually do both couples therapy and individual therapy at the same time. i know that my school's center charges $30 per session for couples and $15 for individual but if u say you can't pay then oh well you can't pay or if you can only pay $5 then u pay that...

otherwise there are many self-help books and that's called biblio-therapy (and yes it's real but usually supplemented w/at least a few visits to a therapist to sort of check in and they can also usually recommend which books are good and which are pop-psych crap LOL).
the problem w/books is, everyone has a different sort of way of going about things... so it depends on how you want to tackle the problem... personally i lean towards cognitive/behavioral so I go to/albert ellis who believes in challenging your thoughts which are what is dictating your negative behaviors... but you may not like the in your face, fix urself and all will be better attitude he has LOL
i don't know any good books on emotional abuse but if you're having trouble finding some let me know and I'll ask around to some of my profs
 
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