Latest on MJJC

does anyone else feel just blank?

thewayyoumakemefeel22

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
15
Points
0
i really feel like i dont know how to feel right now. im just blank- its like I feel numb. I have only cried once, but I just feel like I dont know what to do next....

i just cant believe its been a year already....
 
Yes I know how you feel I feel like I want to burst into tears but for some reason I am holding it in, I have no doubt the tears will come soon. God how can it have been a year already?? I am not ready!!
 
yes. I do.

I see people writing beautiful words about Michael... but I am just...numb. I can't write or say anything.
 
JMie said:
yes. I do.

I see people writing beautiful words about Michael... but I am just...numb. I can't write or say anything.
Click to expand...

I feel the same. I feel like there is so much pressure to do or say or feel something today...that I'm almost paralysed with it all. I have a feeling, I'm not going to be doing much other than feeling withdrawn and numb.
 
yes i agree i watched this is it before, cried a little but im still numb and surprisingly still shocked. it feels like just yesterday ................ :(
 
im like the other poster , i feel like im suppose to feel different tomorrow but for me the pain is still as raw as ever, and ive been crying alot today more than usual but other than that i do feel numb. i feel confused , hurt and a bit lost. i seem to keep daydreaming. i hope i can get thru tomorrow and all the tributes and all the pain. seeing's how im alone in my house as far as loving mike this much. good luck to the rest of you. hugs
 
Feel nuthing.

There has been so much on TV abt Mike in the last few days & Today- But I feel numb. Im sad today that he is gone but I have been sad for the past 365days, so its no different.

Probably I have come to accept that its a part of Life to lose ur loved ones & u can't do nuthing abt it. I lost my dad in July 2008 n then 11 months later Mike in 2009.

But I have no regrets (apart frm that fact that they are gone) coz I loved & prayed for both while they were still here. I happy abt that unlike half of the world who have suddenly discovered their love for Mike.

For me its just another sad day when I miss the lost ones.
 
It is kinda conforting that I am not the only one who feels like this....I can"t find the words.
Honestly, I feel so very tired. I daydream about Michael every day..think about him...miss him...imagining in my head he is with me and then everythink hits me and my heart is broken all over again...10 times a day. And it"s been a year.
I am so overwelmed with him and I sometimes feel like I"m drowning.I can"t get away.
I don"t want to, I need him in my life more than anything. This is crazy.
This is the only place where I know people will understand me and I thank you for that.My family doesn"t really knows how I feel.
I miss Michael so much and the pain is just getting bigger.
 
^ Me too. I thought I'm the only one that feeling completely blank,numb. To me, like it's not right because people would be mourning or celebrating Michael today. I got burst into tears couple of time because I really missed him but it didnt last long.

It's night time over here. It's the most beautiful night I have ever seen in my life. The moon is clear and bright. The clouds are visible and surrounding the moon. It has gotta do with Michael :(
 
Like several others, I feel blank. It's like my brain and psyche have gone into protection mode to avoid the tears and the stark reality once again. Not sure if it's healthy, but maybe for some us it is how we've learned to avoid those emotions we can't or do not want to experience.
 
Yeah. I'm "fine" as in I feel numb and I'm confused more than anything. I'm just emotionally drained. I just want this day to be over. What hell. I'm being a chicken and removing myself from all the threads about tributes and all the things on tv. I just can't...
 
Julia said:
Yes I know how you feel I feel like I want to burst into tears but for some reason I am holding it in, I have no doubt the tears will come soon. God how can it have been a year already?? I am not ready!!
Click to expand...

i feel excatly the same!
am like :| i feel happy one mintue and down the next
i dunno weather to laugh or cry.
blank i am.

what also makes me down is the fact nothing happens round here
to celebrate him :(
 
Blank is a weak word to use. Its more lost with no hope of a break through this pain i feel for the lost of a human that will never be replaced
 
In my country they said a few nice things about him and that was all.
You know...what scares me the most, in fact I know it will be like that in the future..once a year a tribute to this beautiful man the greatest artist of all time...
The world still doesn"t recognize what he was and is.omg...I still can"t exept past tense.
Beside all those feelings, I am angry at the whole world. I know those are not good feelings but I just can"t....
I just love people who love him.
I am in such a mood right now...I could kill if anyone says a bad word about him.
This should not happen....he should be here with us....omg.....
 
Yes, I do. I feel like an erased tape thrown into a bin. My whole life, my joy and dreams became crushed in a second. Years no longer begin and end in December/January. Right now, they end and begin in June. The first worst year of my life is ending and another begins. I just miss him so much...
 
I know how you all feel... the numbness.
I have vowed not to watch any television today. I still stings.
 
micah said:
Yes, I do. I feel like an erased tape thrown into a bin. My whole life, my joy and dreams became crushed in a second. Years no longer begin and end in December/January. Right now, they end and begin in June. The first worst year of my life is ending and another begins. I just miss him so much...
Click to expand...

I'm sending you a hug, and I understand what your are going through. It feels like I have been in the twilight zone since the 25th. I cannot believe that a year has gone by, and I can't believe that I will have to live the rest of my life without him. I can't get him out of my head....everything reminds me of him and sometimes it is hard to get out of bed in the morning. There are days when I feel like everything will be okay, and there are days where I can barely breathe because I'm overcome with grief. It's just so hard, because he was always with me and then BAM....in a second my world was crushed. Time keeps moving forward, but part of me will always be stuck on June 24th 2009...the day before everything went to hell. *Sigh* Maybe I'm just loosing my mind. I love and miss him so much that it scares me.
 
I know the feeling as well I should be crying over Michael. Especially knowing what day it is. But I had barely cried over him today. It has been like that for me ever since I had woken up from that MJ dream I had very early this morning. So maybe that dream had something to do with it. But I did felt just really sad, miserable, and depressed all day long over him. I am even listening to him now and I feel alright listening to him. And lately I had been finding it really hard to watch and listen to him. It has been just too painful for me to do that. But now I want to listen to him. I also feel like watching him but I really don't know if I can handle that yet. Even though I do miss watching him so much. I am glad I am not the only one feeling this way.
 
Im completely blank. Ive been on here the entire day and just been lurking. Dont know what to say.. im just thinking back at last year at this time and dont know what to think or say other that I miss him terribly..
 
I feel in the same way. But I know that sometimes silence can say much more then tons of words.
I just fell lost...
 
I sit here thinking what can I do to make me feel I did something special and honored michael today.. But Im here blanked. Watch This Is It for the 10000 time?? watch the memorial?? wear his shirts?? listen to his music?? watch videos or concerts?? thats pretty much something I do in some way everyday and I just dont know how to feel.. Last night at 2am while driving I heard dedications on the radio and I got teary eyed.. that was it, today almost teary eyed again but I'm just IDK... crying will not bring him back, neither will do anything.. I feel like celebrating his life but I'm mourning and the same time.. So I just continue to pace around today
 
Yes, I really am.
When I first woke up, it hit me and I felt numb. Like I didn't know what to think or do. I was just like...wow. I really can't even describe the feeling. :/
 
I alternate between extreme sadness and this horrible numbness that hangs like a dark cloud. I am not sure which one is worse...

All I know is that I miss him so much. My thoughts are with his kids today and always.
 
JMie said:
yes. I do.

I see people writing beautiful words about Michael... but I am just...numb. I can't write or say anything.
Click to expand...

Michael Jackson Moonwalk said:
I feel the same. I feel like there is so much pressure to do or say or feel something today...that I'm almost paralysed with it all. I have a feeling, I'm not going to be doing much other than feeling withdrawn and numb.
Click to expand...

I also feel the same way. It's like I've been immobilized. I can't find the words to write even though there's a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. I can't seem to cry even though I'm stricken with grief.

(Off topic, your signature is sweet Michael Jackson Moonwalk. "His royal shyness".)
 
I feel depressed today but that's about it no tears have come nothing I just have had this bad vibe the whole day.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top