MJJC Moderator
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John McCain announced today that he will reveal his Vice President nominee via carrier pidgeon. "Its groundbreaking" quipped McCain, "Back in the good old days, I always thought we under utilized the carrier pidgeon system." The McCain staff is asking supporters to put out a little bird seed on the night before the Republican Convention, in order to ensure they get a message from one of their feathered friends.
Florida and other places populated by really old people were estatic. "I aint into all those fancy gadgets and internets and things", said Marge Goldman. "You can also take them into the coal mines to detect gas"
The McCain camp considered the Pony Express but could not find enough supporters under 50 to ride the horses. Older riders, who were willing to ride or die for McCain(literally)could not get insurance coverage. "There simply aren't enough plastics hips out there for us to take that chance" said Tom Green of the Insurance Companies of America & National Territories or ICANT. Smoke signals were considered too dangerous during this year's wildfire season, so the campaign made the choice to move forward with their feathered friends.
This will mark the first time anyone since Gen. Stonewall Jackson sent official messages via fowl. Although it should be acknowledged that General Jackson was held down by musket fire and had no other way to communicate with confederate reinforcements. "Except for the bird droppings, the pidgeons are pretty carbon neutral" added McCain as his campaign staff dropped their heads in shame with their faces flushed in doubt.
