An Introduction and My feelings on My Angel Michael

[TheOriginalPYT]

I couldn't find the Introductions Section, so if this is the wrong section, mods, feel free to move.

I just wanted to introduce myself to the forum. I've been listening to MJ's music since I was only 4 years old. The very first song and video I ever saw/heard from him was "Beat It." Ever since then, I was smitten. I miss him so, so much and can still feel the sting of his passing.

I never stopped loving MJ, even when all those bullshit stories came out about him. When all of that happened, I wasn't even listening to his music that much... I mean, he released Bad in '87 and then Dangerous, HIStory... and then years and years passed and I didn't hear anything about him. I seriously thought the man was content for the time being and decided to take a very long hiatus. That doesn't mean that I EVER stopped loving him. I never even heard of his last 2 albums... but on MTV I still saw Madonna, Celine Dione, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, The Backstreet Boys, etc, etc, etc... but NO Michael.

Of course now... I blame the media/paparazzi, and all the other bloodsuckers, because I honestly thought he just retired. It happens all the time in the industry--no biggie. I still viewed him as a Living Legend, though, and once again... NEVER stopped loving him. I always felt deep down inside that the man would come back to blow the world away again--he ALWAYS did. That's just what Michael Jackson does. And I was right... he was planning to do just that. And I only found this out after his death. WTF??? What is wrong with you people (The Media, his Backstabbers/Betrayers)!!!?? Where has my Michael been all of these years?? Why was he hidden from me all this time???

I have NEVER been this effected by a celebrity death before. EVER. I could probably write a book of memories that I have while his music was playing. I feel like I've lost a member of my own family... I just miss him so much.

I didn't come to the US until I was 4 years old, and Thriller was the VERY FIRST American album that I ever listened to as a kid. The man basically introduced me to American culture! Now I'm sorry, but that is a BIG-ASS deal to me, but so many people just don't understand where I'm coming from... so I needed to find a place where I would be comforted and not criticized.

What hurts me even more is that I am a dancer and an entertainer just like MJ. I may have never became famous or anything, but so what? That doesn't mean that I don't have the same spirit as he does. I've danced and performed to his songs all of my life. When Michael passed, I can truly say that I felt like a BIG part of me was taken away.

Someday, I want to get to the point where I can talk about him and not cry. I want to smile when I see his pictures, hear his name, or his music, and not feel sick to my stomach everyday. I just want to survive all of this, and pray that it makes me stronger. I will ALWAYS love you, Michael... and I will continue to spread your message and make people smile when I dance and perform to your music. You will FOREVER remain in my heart, and to me... you are only dead in the PHYSICAL... the soul goes on. I truly believe that. I just miss you, and pray that you finally have the peace that you have always and only wanted.

I love you, Michael. You were a legend to me before you passed. And always remember that more people loved you than hated you. I pray that you are clearly seeing that now. Again... I love you and miss you, Michael.

Thanks for reading this everyone, it really helps to get all of the emotions out there, and to people who also feel my pain. Thanks again.

 

[LuluJackson]

Welcome my friend... I also felt the lost of a family member... To me, Michael was a friend, a brother, a lover and sometimes a father... So, I understand what you feel... and hope you feel better reading all the posts here, I do!!!

 

[TheOriginalPYT]

Thanks for the warm welcome, Lulu. Do you really feel that reading and posting on this forum has helped with your grieving/healing process? I'm trying to heal and not linger on this because I know that there is nothing that can be done... but at the same time I need the support. So I would really like to know from other fans if doing so has helped them emotionally or makes them feel worse or just 'stuck.' Any opinions will be appreciated.

 

[MJstarlight]

Welcome to the family TheOriginalPYT..
I also felt like I lost the love of my life. It may sound silly but I truely believe I was in love with Michael and still am! The pain since June 25th has not gone away. It feels like a lost a big part of my soul because he was my other half. I still hurt as much as when I first found out the news. It hurts alot but I dont know what I would do without MJJC. Because the people around me do not understand what I am going through but when I come here they do and feel the same. We are all here to support each other, we even have a support thread here. So I am glad you came to us, we are all in this together.

 

[TheOriginalPYT]

Thanks again for the warm welcome, MJstarlight. I was really hesitant on joining this site because I didn't want to dwell on his passing forever. But like you said, maybe this will actually help me. I won't feel alone in my grieving and healing, and there are many people here who feel just like I do, and will help me get through this. And we WILL get through this.