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7 July, 2009.... one year

PCR

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... a whole year.

A whole year since one of the darkest and saddest mornings ever in my life. That whole day was crazy. I was scared. I was confused. I was in denial and then, the memorial made it real. It was true. Our beloved Mike was gone. He had been stolen from us and there I was, sitting on my desk, following his memorial over the internet. How did we come to this?

I miss Michal so much :cry:

And despite all efforts, all business and all "good intentions", in my very own personal opinion, I haven't seen any better for Michael. All other tributes have felt a bit empty at some point, though I know there were many on stage who were not there for Michael when he really needed them the most. It's always bitter sweet. Always :no:

At some point, when I look back to that day, I felt we were all holding hands and crying for the same man, no matter where we were, no matter who we were. It's been a long way since dark June 2009. Thanks for being here.

I miss you, Michael. Always.
 
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i know what you mean. i've just been trying not to think about it. but knowing that today is the annivsary of michael's memorial just makes me relieve that day all over again. as if june 25th wasnt enough now we have to relieve another horrible day. God I miss him sooooooooooo much!!!!!! :weeping:
 
mjlovergurl003 said:
i know what you mean. i've just been trying not to think about it. but knowing that today is the annivsary of michael's memorial just makes me relieve that day all over again. as if june 25th wasnt enough now we have to relieve another horrible day. God I miss him sooooooooooo much!!!!!! :weeping:
Click to expand...

sorry to bring this sad memory.
I just... sorry... I had it in my heart and I needed to write it down.
sending all my love to you, dear.
:hug:
 
I've been thinking about it the whole day.. I can't believe it.. A whole year? No way... :(

I remember we were like 20 fans in a bar watching live,and we just cried through the whole memorial. It was horrible but at the same time it was so wonderful..All of the support from the fans, and you really felt like you said, like we were holding hands all over the world at the same time. I've never in my whole life cried that much. In the morning, at the bar, in the train, at home and I was crying myself to sleep.. I miss him so much.. I can't take this pain anymore..
 
This whole thing still hurts so much...... I don't know when I will get it, or even if i ever will.... all I know is that we have a lot of work to do and no matter if I will be able to somehow get over it (I guess somethings you just wont get over), I will always do my very best to stay strong and spread the truth about Michael and all the love he wanted to share with the world.
The memorial in a way showed a lot of that.... even though a lot of those people never were there when he needed them the most. Sorry, didn't mean to go all negative about it. It was a great memorial and a lot of L.O.V.E.....
 
I've felt so sad today...knowing its the THE DAY. I just keep thinking how last year I was looking forward to the 8th of July because that was due to be Michael's opening night (before it was pushed back). I had tickets to greet him on his first night :no: I cried in the car driving back from work today. I wasn't expecting to be this sad, I thought that was for June 25th...but here again. I have a feeling I'm going to feel rather sick in Septemeber too, as I had front row tickets for then..I feel hollow today....like I've just missed something big...something immense has just departed and I've just missed it, although it was SO close... :weeping: I dont think I'll ever forget or get over any of this. It keeps puncturing my heart.
 
I am starting to cry now just from this reminder. After I had gone all day from not thinking about it. Though I did thought about it this morning. Even though I tried not to think about what I was doing that time last year. And it was just last night I had really, really broke down when I was reminded of what tomorrow was going to be. I was practically up almost half the night just crying of how it has been a year already. I haven't cried that hard and that long in a long time. I want to get over this clinical depression I am still in over what had happen to Michael. But reading these kind of reminders is not going to let me get over this depression. :sad: :boohoo:
 
Yes... I cried today on my way back home too.
I guess back then I never expected this pain to be this deep and to last this much. And it's not changing. It's just turning into an empty space and yet, a space filled with music and memories. I have tried to listen to certain songs again, but I can't. Will you be there... impossible.
it's surreal
it really is
:(
 
yeah i know. ive been trying to cope all year as i can and ive done well but the pain is still there. the tears havent stopped since that horrible june day. i wasnt able to listen to michael's music for quite sometime. i finally started to not too long ago but theres at least one song i cant listen to. you are not alone is just too difficult for me to listen to without crying. will you be there is also hard but the one i listen to doesnt have the spoken word part that gets me crying.alot of music makes me sad but im doing my best to get through the pain but its always going to be there and the tears will never stop no matter many more years pass. i'll never be able to move on entirely. at least i dont think so.
 
I will never forget the sad day of the memorial. I really wanted to watch it with the world live as it was happening. Even though it is against policy to watch streaming video from work I took the risk and tried to watch the coverage on my computer but it kept freezing. Thank goodness just as the memorial was going to start a co-worker offered to let some of us use one of the meeting rooms that had a flat screen TV. So I sat in that room watching with several people and there were many tears shed. I tried to be strong because I hate crying in front of people. I struggled as Mariah choked up singing "I'll be there" (and Mariah has never had an effect on me). But then little Paris went up there with her siblings and gave that amazing speech and that was the end of my composure. I had to cry.

I was not "one of you guys" before 6/25/09. I was just a casual fan of Michael's. But his death has had such a profound affect on me, even to this day. I guess I realized just how much a part of my life he really was. I cannot imagine what it's been like for you guys who have been diehards for many years. Or for those who were set to see him perform live. it's very heartbreaking.
 
last year i was watch live memorial it was like 2am ( in the moring) still dark australia time 8 july i think
i cry too much at time
i lost my luck necklace could paris start talking
after that i don't rembmer but i know i see a spirt/ghost of michael standing outside next my window it was around 6am nice sun rise july 8 and my big imangetion that i see michael out side
part of me died the day michael died
 
that went by so fast!! did anyone tv do a memorial type thing?? E.T.? Eonline??
 
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